1 child families + holidays + I don’t want to watch your kids

Or thoroughly spoilt and entitled.

Thinking they can be friendly with other children indeed!

I think single children can’t do right…. They’re either accused of being needy (like here) or not being social… they can’t win

God, this is so true. Our kids are either weird and needy/lonely or weird and antisocial/too reliant on adult company. Pick one stereotype!

You’re not really watching him though if his mother is a few feet away….
if she’s reading a book she can still hear and assist him if needed.
I can see both sides though as I was one of 4children and I used to go off and make friends because my elder siblings were 11 months apart and close, and too old to play with me, and my younger sibling was 6 years younger than me and too young for me to play with. But my parents always watched me. I would just play with whatever family was near us that day, probably never the same one twice! Or if we were playing rounders (being a big family we used to do that) or some other game we’d regularly have kids come and join us.
On the other side I only have 1 child, when she was really little she’d make friends everywhere we went, then as she aged she really didn’t want other kids joining us when we were playing … would get annoyed if I threw the ball to a random kid stood watching us or asking if they could join in…

I think single children can’t do right…. They’re either accused of being needy (like here) or not being social… they can’t win

OP you sound very judgemental about single child families, it's sad.

I know it's not always a choice and, even if it is, that's fine, a decision for each parent to make.

Children (from all size families) have to learn that families are all made up differently. I'm not saying I wouldn't welcome your child to play. In most instances I would. I think it's great for kids to make friends and mix with others. But if it doesn't work for me at that moment, your child's disappointment at not having siblings isn't my responsibility to compensate for.

You had 4 kids so you don’t have to entertain them all of the time.

Thank you for this response and going against the grain.

For some families with only one child it can be extremely painful watching your only one look on from a far whilst larger families play together. I speak from experience as someone who has just spent the last week in this very position.

But for everyone else, yeah, us single child families are just lazy sun worshippers looking to off load their responsibilities onto those who have been blessed with more than one child so please do carry on eye rolling at us for being such a drain on your holiday.

I grew up.in the 90s and 2000s and i don't know a single.parent who had issues with this. Even my own parents. My mother never complained when/if this happened..she was motherly and didn't matter whose child it was. I am 1 of 3.
I dont know parents these days have to complain about something. 1st world problems. Maybe head over to a 3rd world country or war torn country and get some perspective.

My three kids making close friends with other kids is my favourite bit about camping/resort holidays. I remember it fondly from my own childhood. And if you're supervising 3-4 kids, supervising 5-6 is no great shakes especially in a non pool environment.

I am also finding the stereotypes about 1 kid/4 kid families super weird. It has literally never occured to me to think that families behave this way or that depending on how many kids they have.

People really are determined to find something to moan about!

My DS always makes a friend. In face he made a really good one in Spain a few years ago and we got to know the mum and dad quite well and after we had a chat we ended up taking it in turns to watch the kids play. Then we would take them both to play crazy golf and then the dad of the other kid would take them them to play table tennis. It worked out really well. However I would never ever assume that another family would watch my kid. He may play with others kid but I am always watching him and would expect other parents to do the same

Goodness how miserable. We have 5 daughters who happily play together, there is only 4 years between the oldest and youngest but still happy for them to male friends / play with other children. I don't mind watching them either, I would be watching anyway so what is the hardship.

I have an only, not by ‘choice’. We rely on her making friends, but would never expect another parent to watch her and always check it’s ok..Sadly, she also has no cousins or even aunties and uncles and only one (mostly absent) grandparent. She’s popular at home and we do our best to go away with other families but it’s tough.
However, we are also often the parents who go out of our way to welcome new families/kids to the school and neighbourhood, as we know what it feels like to be on the outside. As a result she is a pretty caring kid who thinks of others.
I hope you’re in the minority because you sound entitled and not particularly kind.

@

This has happened to us, 2 kids, a Mum of 2 was with her Mum and the grandma was the one mostly watching them. The 2 little girls attached themselves to our DC, all in the pool. Grandma fell asleep (constantly) so we had to be responsible. Later saw Mum, drunk and with different men. When we did tell them to go back and sit with their family no one was there! So yanbu, it's totally negligent and unfair to look after your own children on holiday. This is how accidents and worse happen and if it wasn't for the more responsible parents looking out for them goodness knows...

if you want to be left alone with your kids, I suggest you rent a villa, with a pool.

✔

My DC are older now, but on family holidays, if we were somewhere where there were other children, they tended to pal up with others of their own age group, ie oldest (a girl) would find girls her own age, next (a boy) would find a gang of boys and the youngest would either be 'mothered' by the older girls or hang out with the boys (with us being fully aware of what the younger ones were doing).
Usually it was a campsite in France so all nationalities made friends.

There seems to be a lot of non chuckely chuckling going down on this thread!

I'm on the fence here. I'm not sure this counts as watching them at that age. Surely by that age a child can play with yours without being constantly observed. Mum is right there if anything goes wrong or the kids need something. It's not as if she's leaving altogether, or the kid is demanding anything beyond company, unless I've missed something.

My eldest is like soooooo chatty, I myself went and got him back from where he went. « No, you can’t just barge on them coz they have a ball ». « No, you can’t just use all their stuff coz they don’t use it this second ». I mean he is 6 😅🤣🤣🤣

But then he always seem to find some kids whom want to play with him and we kinda check if the parents are ok with it. We kinda stay at a distance and watch our own kid and the playing. We usually try not to talk because « what if we don’t like them but the kids like each other ». We just leave him decide who he wants to be friend with and try and teach him some manners 🤷🏼‍♀️

Hi,

i think you are misjudging the situation. If you have a bunch of kids…you are in the highly desirable place of having kids playing together.
i mean if the parents are rude or leave…yeah…just send back the kid but otherwise your lot will attract! Many solo kid want to make friends. And a bunch of friendly kids is exactly what they are looking for 😵‍💫 Of course they will be encourage by their parents to do so. No parents want their kid to be feeling alone during holidays 😓

if you want to be left alone with your kids, I suggest you rent a villa, with a pool. Alternate beach and pool. There. The others won’t attach if they don’t find you every day. Leave the public space for people whom actually want to be with others 🤷🏼‍♀️

good luck 🌺

I’m always the parent watching the children. I’d rather do that than have to talk to the parent of the random child.

I always had the exact opposite experience. My son was an only child and I always ended up with parents of multiple children palming their kids who were the same age as my son off on me because their hands were full with the baby or kids of other ages. It was a nightmare to be honest, almost as of they thought it was fine because they had their hands full and I only had the one. They’d even try it in restaurants. They’d sit with baby and I’d have to deal with their older kids for them. I guess it happens both ways.

Our DD is an ‘only’. More often than not we’d end up with her ‘holiday friends’ hanging round with us all day. Tbf, I never minded as DD was the real winner here as it’s sometimes hard for kids with no siblings on holiday.

One child family here - and NO I do send my child over to join others- he is Sen and unpredictable. We get the opposite - other parents sending their kid over to us, I send them back to their TWO parents and I have seen them send their Kid back to us whilst they continue chatting to their friends. Sometimes they give their child seeets so the child sits in front of us stuffing its face, - they NEVER share and my child has to watch. I send them back pronto and they come back, and believe me I return them repeatedly. I do not need other children around me and my child. I do not go out with my child to look after other peoples children. I only want to be my child. It makes me wonder why some parents have the children if they don’t want to be with them???
And yes, my child will be mixing with other children in summer clubs this holiday

There's some really awful posts on this thread. I am one of 3 and some of my happiest memories were going on holiday and making new friends! Some of the attitudes on this thread are quite frankly disturbing.

Only children always seem to be fair game on here and the same tired stereotypes get trotted out time and time again. I think on the other hand boasting of having multiple children so you don't have to do play dates or entertain your child is piss poor parenting. Children need 1:1 interacting with parents. Children's social needs can't be met by siblings alone and its important that they learn to socialise out of their family as part of their development and to build social skills. Even though at times I may not like these things, I do it as a parent because I know it benefits my child. The whole insular attitude that some parents is so unhealthy.