1 child families + holidays + I don’t want to watch your kids

OP doesn’t have to « manage » extra children though. The children play together, independently. From what she said, I understand her children range from 8 all the way to teens: at this age you don’t watch them like a hawk in the pool (side note: wasn’t there a lifeguard?). The fact that they are playing with another child doesn’t change anything to the level of attention needed.
Second situation she describes: the beach. She said the parents were sitting right next to them. So again, she wasn’t supervising an extra child.

Why couldn't you just say to the parents "we're happy for little Jonny to play with us for a little bit but please make sure you're still keeping watch in the pool. 5 is too many for me to keep an eye on safely"? Or, if you/your kids really (surely it's their views which matter?) actually don't want to play with the other kid say that to the parents too. I get it's a bit awkward, but better than feeling resentful and that you've been lumbered with another child all holiday.

I agree that this is just part of staying in a hotel and if you're looking for a more private family environment you'd be better off with a different holiday setup.

Yes, I have definitely encountered parents with that mindset.

My eldest was an only child until he was 7, and we came across this a few times too. It was almost an entitlement of the parent with multiple kids as if they thought, 'oh they only have one child to take care of, they should have one of mine to look after too'!

It’s just lazy parenting. I’ve had bbqs and parties where mums have plonked their bums down for the duration and left their multiple children to run around manically doing naughty things, as if the parenting transfers to the host when they walk through the door. Never invited again, obviously.

It never occured to me to be disappointed my kids make a new friend on holiday. Pretty natural for children to gravitate towards each other I would say, and nice. If you are not keen maybe think of a villa with a private pool.

So why make it about only children? Many parents of multiple children do this too.

But again, why are you playing dinosaur with a random child? I mean, be nice but continue as you are. If they want what a piggy back? Then say go and ask your mummy dear. Maybe you're just naturally lovely and children flock to you. This has never been a problem ove encountered.

Dd is an only and has always picked up kids on holiday. There's always been more than ours in the caravan/ tent. We've taken them to the beach or park. Drew the line at the pool though.
Dd met a little girl in Cornwall when they were 8/9. She was often in our caravan. They stayed in touch and met up this summer. Dds now 17 and the not so little girl 18 and works in the bar there now.

I loved playing with my child - we were both happy and having fun. Other children, being ignored by their parents (some who thought siblings would just play together no doubt) sometimes joined in.

So don't watch him.

Let him play with your kids if they want him to play.

If you go elsewhere tell him and direct him back to his parent.

I have an only. We've had kids who want to play with ds and come over to us as much as the other way around. Kids like other kids 🤷‍♀️

I find this a bit strange. Do you not want your children to make friends on holiday?

What makes you think the parents are no longer watching their child?

You had 4 kids because you wanted them to entertain each other rather than you? In that case I’m not sure you are any better than the woman who followed you to the beach 🤣🤣🤣

I find this really weird. So let me get it right: your 4 kids make friends with a lonely child, play with them and befriend them but you hate it because (for some reason) you end up taking this child everywhere with you/ look after them?

I just don't understand. What would you like other parents to do/ What would you like to happen in this scenario? Their kids is playing with yours, they stand near watching? Or actually watching your 4 kids while you relax? Or not allow their kid to come over (as you, really weirdly, seem to have done previously)?

Seems to me its some sort of a bizarre revenge situation. I can imaging bringing up 4 is very hard so this is your chance to get one over those people who have it easier with just one.

I think its on you if you think you have to watch them. You don't. Any more than you're watching any other kids who is playing in the pool. Sure if you see a drowning raise the alarm but you dont need to be on high alert.

My dc play in the pool at 10 and 13 but I just keep an eye out for my youngest. I'm happy for them to play with other kids especially lonely ones.

I think the only time you'd be responsible is if you offered to take them if you move pool's or go down to the beach. I took a little girl on water slides once because she had made firm friends with ds. I was very careful and paid close attention to her but left my sons to get on with it!!

This is a really sad thread.

Nobody has asked you to watch their kids.

I think people are misunderstanding OP. It’s not the children playing with other kids that she’s complaining about. It’s other children being encouraged to go and play with her “group” and their parents then chilling while she has to manage extra children, and then those parents seeking her family out for a repeat performance.

Parent of the dreaded single child here and my experience is totally different. When we go away we are always actively involved with playing and supervising our child. Usually find it’s the single parents of multiple children that are happy to fob theirs off day after day.

In my experience to be fair it is not just only children, but it often is, because I imagine it is hard work entertaining a child constantly.

Actually yes, I agree. I have two children and one of the worst experiences I had of being awkwardly forced to take on responsibility for another kid on holiday was a family who also had two kids, and both parents and two grandparents were all lying around on loungers! OP would you consider changing your view to generally annoying kids with generally negligent parents, from families of all sizes? Or have you found proportionally larger number of one child families doing this?

We've all come across negligent parents, sadly. OP is far too quick to lay all the blame at those with 1 child though.

I have come across this type of parent too. They are negligent in some ways, and will do almost anything to get away from their own children, and avoid parenting and spending time with them.

As a result, their children become even more needy, pushy and clingy with others (they have no attention at home) they are trying to get their needs met. And it becomes your problem. They are usually emotionally neglected.

We had this at the beach last month. I was playing with my son and a little girl came up. She was hovering round us and getting involved- fine but no sign of her mom. Eventually spotted her sunbathing- she did a half arsed- don’t play too rough. We went back to our spot then the little girl was running towards the sea- her mom was just sitting there and shouted for her brother to get her.
I was ready to intervene but I shouldn’t have to.

I think underneath this op, you have gone through the huge undertaking of raising four children safely, and are probably exhausted from the job. You need a real holiday but looking out for lots of kids is not especially relaxing and worse still when there are more kids in the mix that are not yours.

The parents of the only child (in this case) with just one child with just one job to do can switch off once they have offloaded their offspring on to you and checks out of keeping them safe. That their lives are infinitely easier than yours, and this is very unfair. You are tired, and need to check out too.

Having four kids that keep themselves entertained is one of the upsides in your set up, so I can see why you are resistant to giving other parents with a much easier life an easy ride on their holidays. I can see that.