1 child families + holidays + I don’t want to watch your kids

I agree.
I wouldn’t be sitting right by my 8 year old, listening and supervising them intensely.
I think it’s reasonable to sit beside the pool and keep an ear and an eye from a distance.

At least some of OP's kids are apparently teens. Am imagining them still in arm bands being closely supervised by their mum 😂

YANBU. The next-door neighbour does this. She can't be bothered to entertain her own kid, so tries to get our family to do it instead. My dcs play with each other, and us. This little kid is just left alone bored, with nobody to play with.

There are kids clubs, could bring a little friend with them, or anything. You can guess whose fault it would be if the kid got injured or ran off as well op.

So why make it about only children? Many parents of multiple children do this too

To a degree but way less. My two never really seem to seek out others because theyve got their own games going on and they have all these silly traditions and holiday in jokes planned

Just remembered whilst on holiday with our only child as a 3 year old an older kid about 6 latched on to our child. This kids parents were nowhere to be seen the whole holiday - eventually figured out who they were - entertaining their other kid in the other pool. This kid had no concept of safety - albeit in the shallow pool - all we could do when we went for lunch etc was bring her to the lifeguards attention and make sure they knew she was not with us and did not know her parents.

Oh god. My DS (age 2) is currently an only child and always wants to play with other kids if we go to the beach or the park. In some ways it's really cute (and there's a bunch of kids he recognises who we see at the park often) but it can feel really hard work and awkward. So many stilted conversations with other parents while you negotiate who is using which truck.

It also annoys me when they come over to play with my 8 year old, but then try to exclude my 4 year old.

This. My two dc get along really well and play happily together. Until lone 8 year old spots my 7 yo DS and barges over but doesn't want 5 yo DD involved. My DS will try and keep her included but if another child is not ever passing her the ball etc it won't last

Surprised any kids actually want to play with them 🙄

I don't mind my two children mixing - I think its a nice part of the holiday. They all learn social skills and have fun. However, I don't want to be responsible for others children - so their parents need to be near, especially if we are next to water.

If I get my children an ice cream - I would also say to the others go and check with your parent if it's ok if I get you one too (mainly because of allergies).

It's fair enough If you / your children don't want to operate as above.

I'm not the most social person out of choice - but I value the opportunity for children to socialise, family structure doesn't even enter my mind.

But it doesn't seem as if any parent is actually asking the op/others to mind their kids.
The op/others have just decided to do so.

Doesn't it just boil down to different levels of helicoptering/pop assume parenting.

If my kids were say 8 and made friends with other children on holiday, and I then go for a swim, it isn't that I expect the other parent to look after mine at all; rather than I have made the parental decision that my dc don't need watching at this moment and will come get me if they do.

As a parent of one, I find the opposite. I find the parents with multiple children are more likely to send all their kids off to "entertain each other" and not pay enough attention to realise that actually they've usually all split up to pester the parents who are in the pool/doing soft play with their onlies.

It's not about children playing with eachother. That's fine. It's the somewhat neglectful nature of other parents (particularly strangers). I have a 2 and 6 year old so maybe I will be more relaxed when they're older.

But when a toddler comes over to play with my 2yo and their parent is over the other side of a huge building, face down in their phone with a coffee, my stress levels go up. I have my own boundaries with my child. I don't want to take responsibility for another child who often wants to lead my child to do dangerous things or sometimes plays roughly. It'd be nice for them to play if the other parent was nearby and monitor their child's behaviour/safety.

My 6yo I'm fine with playing with other kids but they have form for following us about and their parents aren't in site. We went bowling a while back and the other kid kept asking for a go. Why is he here if he isn't bowling? We let him have a few goes (no parent in site), we then had lunch and politely sent him away. He hovered the whole time until we were finished. It got to be pretty annoying. I let my kids approach other kids but I am always close by to parent them.

The issue isn't the kids playing. It's lack of parents parenting while this happens.

This is normal children's behaviour. Kids to play with kids.
There is nothing you can do unless you really want: 1 to teach your kids to tell No and go away to all other kids in public places ( what would you achieve with this rather than raising miserable people)

1. If you are finished with your beach day, you just go ( then no one is bothering you in your car, hotel rooms etc )

YABU
The problem doesn't seem to be with lone children, but parents who don't watch their children. They could have 3 or four children and send them to play with yours and still not be watching them.

My DD was an only child- we always encouraged her to try to make a friend or two on holiday but always watched over her and never expected other parents to do so. Inevitably she always seemed to hook up with another only child so it was 50/50 anyway.

I can't really see the point of your AIBU other than you are jealous that some parents are having a more relaxing time reading a book while you are watching your four children- which you chose to have- you would be watching the children anyway whether there was a an extra child playing or not! Or do you expect the parent of the lone child to watch all 5 while you read your book?

Friends aren't the same as family and sometimes you don't want someone else's random child around

Fine, so make sure your kids know not to befriend them. OP should do the same instead of sneering at them.

Frankly, as a parent I can't think of many things nastier than getting your kids to mock other children for being on their own.

I can’t get past the OP saying she had four kids so she wouldn’t have to play with them. Wtaf?!

This thread is hilarious. Keep em coming OP. Maybe start a social media blog too under ‘four and blessed’.

Ah your family sound nice. Sure you’re raising lovely humans with your standards!

Why don’t you just let children enjoy themselves and you just chill the F out on holiday?

On here you often get people insisting only children don't get lonely

Yet we get see it often and parents we know with only children often invite a friend along on holiday.

Friends aren't the same as family and sometimes you don't want someone else's random child around

Surely it's good for kids to make new friends on holiday? We always end up with either a kid over where we are or our DS over with them. Usually they flip flop between both parent groups and it gives us an opportunity to talk to someone new too. But we never just ignore him while he's playing with another kid and we've never had anyone seem annoyed, it's usually other single kids though so I guess we're all happy for our kids to have someone to play with.

Having a running joke with your children about most likely lonely children wanting to play with your family is very low.

I don't get it, and I'm from a big family and my siblings have large families too. Kids just want to make friends during their holiday.

It's nothing to do with you, no one is asking you to watch their kids. The parents indeed probably sat near you in the beach because they recognise your children and they were getting along with their child. So what?!

If you don't want your family to interact with anyone else during your holiday, then tell your kids to keep to themselves I guess? So much fun 🙄

It's really sad the amount of threads on here from parents that are pissed off that their children or other people's children are..... shock horror.... playing and making friends. This should literally be the bread and butter of a healthy child's life and yet we seem increasingly more resentful of it. It's really weird. No wonder so many kids are growing up with mental health issues and severely disillusioned with the world

My 8 year old made friends with a 7 year old on holiday last year. They were playing in the kids pool and I was keeping an eye from my sunbed. They came over and asked if they could go to the adults pool, I said yes but we'd need to check with X's parents, and then little X said 'oh they are not here'. So I had unwittingly been keeping an eye on this child - even though it was a shallow pool there were slippy walkways, slides with steps, random adults and all sorts of other potential dangers. We walked around the resort until we found her mum on a sunbed with a book. She was not bothered at all- I think some people just loose all sense on holiday

@UprootedSunflower That is literally my worst nightmare. I can't believe anyone would ever think it's acceptable to do that to you!

I don't mind doing it. Just want my kids to make friends and be happy.

But I would be annoyed if the parents took it as their cue to have a break.

It also annoys me when they come over to play with my 8 year old, but then try to exclude my 4 year old.

That can be awkward to try to navigate and I've had to be quite sharp with kids when they do that. In my experience it is only children that do this, and it is very obviously done from a place of jealousy - they don't like their new mate playing with their younger sibling, they want them to themselves. It causes no end of tears and stress and it very unfair to my youngest so I have to nip it in the bud.

(Obviously the above is not always the case. There have been some only children who play beautifully with both my kids).