1 child families + holidays + I don’t want to watch your kids

There’s a big difference between children happily mixing with other children while the parent(s) keep an eye on them and parent(s) who absolve themselves of any responsibility for their own child or children expecting a strange to take over looking after them m. That’s being a cf in my experience.
My DCs always played with other children they met up with, no big deal, my DGCs are the same. Only yesterday the two DGCs went to play in our small park, met some children from the estate and all played football. DS popped along to check everyone was happy, zero expectations that other parents would look after them (8 &11).
I do know what it’s like being expected to look out for another child, we had a neighbour who would tell her DCs (young primary school age) to ‘Go and help Coffee with her gardening’- I soon told her that I wasn’t responsible for her DCs!

We found it the other way round in general, in the odd times we went on those kind of holidays.

Dd is an only child, albeit a young adult now.
She'd be happy playing with dh in the pool, or with me/both of us.
We found it was other children who wanted to play - dd was very sociable and happy to do so, though equally ally in her own company too. Because dh was in the water playing with dh he'd end up with other people's children joining in very often as well.

If dd made a friend we would happily let her play with them, keeping an eye from the side/lounger whilst also chatting and reading, etc.

We would never have expected anyone else to look after dd for us though.

I’m in two minds here - it’s nice for kids to make friends on holiday, but they remain their parent’s responsibility unless explicitly agreed otherwise.

im sure the “oh well it’s just one more” mentality is very annoying!

When we have been on similar holidays, DS (much younger than Dd) has made friends with other children, although not usually large group families only interested in one another. Maybe an only child or another kids with a much older sibling(s).

The form, I’ve found, is to let them play whilst keeping an eye out for them, and after a while chat to the other child’s parents for a bit. If the kids get on, then sometimes arrangements are made to meet up again etc.

No one assumes the other parent has taken charge.

I am a single parent and I do get that sometimes couple parents think that gives you more time / ability to look after their child (why, I have no idea!) but usually we can avoid these people.

Are there that many around that she meets them on every holiday?

When I've been on holiday most people are busy engaging with their children most of the time.

Yes, I agree with this. Dh works long hours and was playing with our DCs in the garden, having some dad/kids time. Then the child next door was repeatedly calling dc1"s name, interrupting, standing on furniture to peer over the fence, encouraged by her Mum. Dc1 went over to be polite and said hi, she shoved plastic toys in dc1's face, dc1 wasn't interested and told her politely, then went back to dh. All I could hear was the Mum exclaiming loudly oh did they not like your toy, and go show this one. 🙄The kid again kept shouting for dc1, dc1 is ND, and was getting irritated, and again went over and politely told her "playing with dad right now, see you later." The little girl stared at them over the fence the whole time!
It was rude, I don't let my dcs stand on furniture and look into their private space.

I'm a single parent of an only child. Neither of us have any interest in making friends when we're on holiday. We enjoy each other's company and keep ourselves to ourselves.

On the odd occasion when a child has tried to join in with what we're doing I don't mind for a while but after 10-15 minutes I politely tell them to go back to their parents as we want to play on our own. I go on holiday to spend time with my child not to entertain a random.

Don’t watch them. It’s not your job, you’re right. But have you considered that parents may not be having the ‘child free’ time of their life but just stepping back a bit to let kids play without helicopter parenting. It’s what children do, and no surprise that children want to play with other children. Luckily yours seem kind and inclusive, so well done for raising them like that, but sad to know that some parents actually just feel that they only want their kids to play with each other. Lucky you being able to have so many.

She dared to roll over on her sunbed? Christ. I missed that.

Hang her

No only parent I know carries a chip. But we do get regularly and repeatedly fucked off because of the ignorant and sweeping generalisations made by parents of multiples about our 'lonely' DC and our parenting abilities.

I had two and they played together or with other children, I never watched other peoples children whilst they were playing.

If you're in the pool and the children are playing then the parents not paying attention - send the child back to the parent as children shouldn't be in a pool not attended by the parent

That's interesting about the age difference in Australia @HelenTudorFisk
I'm in the UK- it's 8 here.

I don't think op is meaning your average holiday friendship. She is meaning "latchers on," there is a vast difference.

Only parents certainly carry a very large chip.

Op I agree, but it isn't a only problem it is a parent problem. Also agree that if an adult is involved in a game, or actively playing with their children then they also become a magnet for other children.

I don't care if you think I'm selfish, and I'm not your village to raise your child.

At those ages I wouldn't think they'd need much watching. I really like seeing my only child making friends on holiday. I encourage them - not because it gives me a break, but because it's nice to see them playing with other children. My DC is very confident approaching new children and doesn't need me to engineer meetings much. They do it off their own back.

I don't really see the problem unless the parents actually wander off leaving their child with you.

'My husband and I used to get into arguments about this because when we went on days out or to family/friends' parties, he would hover over our kids like a hawk while I would take the opportunity to catch up with friends and relax. He would then get annoyed at me because I''m not watching the kids and he's the pied piper that all the kids there have now attached themselves to because playing with an adult entertainer is fun. I told him if he just chilled out and also spoke to adults, our kids and the other kids would play together - that's what the entertainment/ bouncy castles/ play areas are for. Lo and behold once he stopped being a martyr, he also now gets to enjoy the events and days out we go'

Absolutely this. My ex husbands group of friends was exactly like this. South African is that's relevant. At any party the children of all ages just played with other children, and the parents all just enjoyed themselves. And IT WORKED. Often the parent of a toddler would slip the 14 yo in the group a tenner to keep an eye, come get them if any problems. One year it came about that I had a Xmas party with 'my' group of friends and it was so kid-centric with party games, all about the kids etc, and it was fraught and the parents were knackered by the end, followed a week later with my exes friends Christmas party which was so so much better and everyone had fun.

Aww wow what a way to make patents of onlys feel shit on a Monday morning!
also tbh it’s just not true. Parents of multiple kids are always slacking off and dumping their various kids on only parents

YABU, why does it matter in any way? You just sound very judgy of people who only have 1 kid. Nice your kids are making friends.

I find this too as parent of an only. The kids with multiple siblings are usually shocked to get so much adult attention and end up sticking with us. I don't mind one bit because raising children takes a village, whether you have one, many, or no kids. So many selfish responses here.

What I will say is parents of multiple kids are probably more exhausted, so have less energy to spare. I would have thought getting the kids to play with someone else would help this.. (but I wouldn't know)

You meet am awful lot of poor parents and over friendly children ☹️. And you really ought to restrict your children to only socialising with their siblings.

This is my point. You would have taken your child and left - why the fuck should I have to? Why should my child have to miss out because these parents have left?
I don’t live in the UK - I am in Australia. The guidance here is very clear about clear sight to a minimum of ten years. My local pool has added to that as is their right as a recreational facility, following an incident a few years ago. My job also brings me into contact with critical incidents involving children and for a multitude of reasons I would not leave them unsupervised at a pool under 12.

Yes, this. Some parents feel the need to supervise more closely than others and for some reason they also feel the need to supervise other people's kids.

Whereas there is no need to take responsibility for anyone else's child. Assume their parents are happy with the level of supervision they are providing themselves and carry on. Obviously if you happen to see them drowning you would intervene, but no need to watch them just in case.

If the child is annoying and your children don't want to play with them then that's the only time to send them away.

I find it the opposite, I play with my DS and always attract kids on holiday who want to play. I’m ok with it as long as the parents are watching them.

We have 1 dd and i often end up looking after several other kids who play with dd. Obviously happy to as dd is enjoying herself. Works both ways i guess! Always chat to the parents though and make sure everyone is happy with the arrangement.

What are "holiday in jokes?" I'm intrigued.

My 2 are similar, they get lost in their own little games. Dc1 is ND, and will love chatting to another kid for awhile, but then easily gets bored/or realises they're on a different wavelength, and politely tells them finished playing. I just wish the parent would get the memo when their dc is still repeatedly hanging around, and pestering dc1.

Exactly. They are just assuming she will, as they roll over on their sunbed.

"Asking" would at least show some manners and acknowledgement