I split up with his dad when he was 18 months old and I’ve always been the full time parent and DS has gone to his dad’s 3/4 weekends a month and half the holidays. His dad has remarried and the wife has three children and they have a five year old together. DS has more fun there than with me. I am not the fun parent and I don’t have extra cash to buy the stuff he wants like Nike clothes and other expensive things.
From secondary I already agreed that he can go to the secondary school near to his dad’s house and spend more time there than at mine.
Today he has come home and said his dad and dad’s wife said that they pay £100 a month to me so DS asked why he can’t have that money. I explained it’s only £60 I get from his dad and it goes towards his food and living costs, uniform, clothes and he gets £5 a week pocket money from me. I said I care for him, feed him, love him and do what I can within my means for him and he needs to be grateful for that but obviously he won’t understand this - or how much £60 actually is, until he’s older.
His response was just to be rude. I feel like his dad has been poisoning him against me for years now.
I’m tempted to send DS there for the full holidays (if his dad will have him) and tell him dad if he wants him full time, he can, and he can get him moved schools asap for year 6. I’ll have him every other weekend and maybe one evening a week and I’ll drop him back for dinner.
Have any other mum done similar? I feel like this isn’t the norm but I don’t know why I’m trying to hard to keep a child who clearly prefers his dad. His dad I feel would take him full time also and has previously expressed that when our son is old enough he can decide where he wants to live - maybe that time is now…