To be concerned about DD?

She is an adult-back off!
I assume she is in full-time education or work?

In all honesty I think she sounds great. Happy and confident in her own world, doing things if and as she pleases. She could teach my daughters a thing or two, mine are always out, this party, that club, social whirlwinds. I spend my life worrying. Your daughter is different and there is nothing wrong with that, she is also happy which is the most important of all.

My DC’s are like this, all of them are on the spectrum. Happy to go out very occasionally, normally to friend’s houses. All of them are teens and are happy, not everyone is the same or a party animal. One of mine is an older teen and has never touched alcohol or had a relationship but he is happy. Leave her be, each to their own.

Has she said she is unhappy?
Not every young girl wants to go out drinking and clubbing all the time.
She actually sounds a lot like I was and who I still am. Best thing you can do is love and value her for who she is, don't make her feel she needs to be someone that she is not.

Does she want to meet new friends or a future husband? Again, I’d be very careful about seeming to imply that she isn’t enough on her own.

Does she want to have wild stories to tell about her youth? I think her future dc, if she chooses to have them, might love hearing about the things she enjoyed and the things that are important to her.

Why are older friends less valuable? Maybe she didn’t have much in common with her school friends and prefers these people’s company?

People are different, op, and in the kindest possible way, you seem to have very fixed ideas about what she should be doing. Focus on whether she is happy instead?

Your dd doesn't have to have lots of interesting stories about her social life or things she’s got up to, to be a valuable and interesting person in the future, @spiderplant7.

As a introvert, who hasn’t ever had a busy and fascinating social life, I can tell you that I would have been miserable if someone had tried to force me to live a life that I found uncomfortable and unnatural for me, and it would have felt as if I was being told that I was somehow less worthwhile, because my idea of fun and happiness didn’t live up to their standards.

I am sure that you don’t want to make your dd feel as if she is failing you, or failing at life because she isn’t out living the high life, and prefers to be a home body - so please just be proud that you have a happy, well adjusted daughter who is happy with her life.

I think that nowadays, for a teen to be happy living the life they choose is something to be thankful for as a parent.

It’s a real positive that your DD isn’t following the crowd. She goes out, sees her friends when she wants to and you don’t have to worry about where she is, or what she is doing.

I could not have said it more beautifully.

Being alone does not mean somebody is lonely.

Leave your daughter to be the lovely young woman she is. If anyone needs to work on themselves, it’s you. Stop meddling.

I find that kids just don't really do that these days. Maybe it's a result of covid, but they really are much more homebodies. My oldest was born in 1985 with several in between her and my currently 17 year old. It's just not the same vibe.

The key point is that she’s happy.

How many of us who spent our teenage years out getting pissed or desperately trying to fit in would reflect on those times as happy?

It takes most people years to find the maturity to do what they ACTUALLY enjoy rather than what everyone else thinks they should.

You’re probably a good mum because you obviously care and you’ve raised a daughter who sounds brilliant.

Just enjoy her ❤️

Good for her, she sounds great.

Absolute fucking bollocks, mate.

YABU.

Not everyone has the same social preferences. Plenty of people don’t really like parties. Your DD is perfectly happy doing her own thing - and she is also an adult, who can make her own decisions and navigate her own social life.

I had a group of friends when I was a teenager (and they’re still my friends to this day, 30 years later!) but not one ‘best’ friend. I did some social stuff but I didn’t like parties or just ‘going out’ for the sake of it. I went to gigs or the cinema with my friends, or maybe out to do some shopping. But my hobbies were all solitary - reading, birdwatching, art, pets, collecting stuff, writing fiction, gothic horror, history and watching old and/or cult films and TV programmes. I really, really liked just being at home, in my room, pottering about with my dog.

I was absolutely never lonely. I never felt unhappy being on my own. But I did feel bad when adults quizzed me about why I was on my own a lot or why I didn’t like parties, or implied that it was somehow weird for a teenager not to be sociable. So please, don’t make your daughter feel like there’s somehow something wrong with her just because she’s independent in her interests. She’s fine.

@MoveToParis nasty comments

She sounds very like my SIL. It's not a life I would choose but she's close to her parents, has a fairly demanding job and has a few time-consuming hobbies. No interest in a relationship and only a small handful of friends. She's very happy and fulfilled.

She's happy with her life then leave her be, we all dance to a different drum

Some people blossom into extroverts later.

Some people never do (that's me)

Forcing her won't help.

I think your dd and her way of living is lovely, and if she's happy, then that is all that matters. Church is a social outlet for her like others have said, and her habits are healthy. I think many could learn from her

She sounds great. She's happily and comfortably her own person, how many 18 year olds can truly say that?

It's fine. Lots of us were like that as teenagers, and we grew up to have jobs, friends etc.
She's happy - that's all that matters.
She's not like you, OP, and that's fine too, so please don't force her to fit what you think is "the norm".

I would be absolutely thrilled if my daughter was "perfectly happy".

@MoveToParis - do you think everyone should be a sociable extrovert? What is wrong with being, as I am, introverted and not very socially active? I don’t think that the sociable extroverts are right and the unsociable introverts are wrong, or vice versa - I just think people are different, and we should all be true to who we are.

Should she? Even if she doesn’t enjoy it? Why? Because you think it’s a better use of time than cooking and reading?

Concentrate on the lovely polite child that your dd is and other people see her as. Stop seeing her as failing to be the extrovert social butterfly that your other kids are/were.

Stop thinking there's a problem because she's not what you think she should be.