To be concerned about DD?

Do you think she's happy?

Largely I'd let her do what she wants - you can't force her to be a sociable person and she clearly is happy enough. However, you keep saying 'her' church. Is this a new church, and is it one you're also a member of? What kind of church is it? It made my ears prick up a bit, the fact that she's seemingly isolated from anyone except others in the church: maybe I'm off-base and you're a very involved-with-the-church-community family generally, but if it's new I think that would raise potential concerns for me.

Jings you're overthinking this OP. I hope you don't say these things to your daughter. Leave her be. Have fun with her, be a friend etc.

I think she sounds great and will grow and prosper in her own way . She has a rare quality , perhaps a stronger sense of self and independent thought than others. If I were you I'd embrace her individual outlook and just enjoy her for who she is. Gently encourage her to try new things if you must but go easy.

Ok, she’s 18. In the nicest possible way, worrying about her finding a life partner / having children is nuts.

This lady's daughter is an adult. Not a kid anymore.
The OP does not get to dictate how she lives and what she needs. It isn't outrage, it's the lack of sensitivity and understanding towards this young girl who is a person in her own right. Not one that needs to be moulded or forced into being who she isn't. I bet the daughter is aware of how her mother feels about her and believe me, that will cause a lot of damage to her as it has me. When your own mother thinks that you should be more, do more and basically be someone different to who you are, it really messes with you mentally.

Hardly. The DD is happy, and that should be all that matters. There is nothing wrong with how she is at all.

This idea that we need to be social have lots of friends and party. It's not for everyone. Don't make her feel less because she's not the popular kids. Love her for who she is, encourage her to chase HER dreams

I think some posters here are letting their outrage cloud your valid concern.

Is she happy? Did she ever go to any church youth groups or camps? Maybe she just hasn't found her people. Is she at college? Does she have Uni plans? She's likely to find many more like-minded people at Uni through various clubs and societies.

@spiderplant7 - I really hope that your dd isn’t aware of your views on this - basically you think she is doing teenagerhood wrong, or failing at it, somehow - because she isn’t out partying and having boyfriends.

Do you want her to change, become someone she is not, and feel like a fish out of water, to suit your stereotype of what a teenage girl should be, or do you want to accept her as she is, and encourage her to grow and flourish from the excellent foundation she seems to have already? Do you want her to believe that you think she is a failure or somehow lesser, because she isn’t a typical teenager?

I would let her do whatever makes her happy but I really think everyone physically able should have a job. Why isn’t she working ?

No child wants to hear stories about their parents’ youth!

You’re overthinking. She’s only 18, she’s happy at the moment and she has a lot of years ahead before she needs to settle into a way of living.

Please, don’t envisage a future for her, involving your fantasy of her having a husband and children which she might not want at all, and setting yourself up for disappointment if she chooses a different path. That’s a dead cert way to make her fall out with you.

She sounds fine. She isn’t a miserable hermit, she does socialise and go out, just not with the right people according to you. Please don’t interfere or let her see that you don’t approve of her quiet lifestyle.

I don't like this idea of 'She is still young ' or 'She just needs time.' If she continues living her life the way she pleases without feeling like she has to do what everyone expects her to do and be (Be more outgoing, go out drinking and clubbing, marry and have kids) then good on her.

Having a mother who sounds just like the OP has done such a number on my self esteem. I have never felt good enough and she has always made me feel a failure because I haven't married, had kids or have an amazing job.
Your daughter is an adult now, free to live life as she chooses. Respect those choices or expect to damage your relationship with her forever.

It's a bit early to start worrying about your daughter 'ending up alone'. How many 18 year olds have a child or a partner? If your daughter decides she wants one, that will be her motivation to go out and meet someone. Or, she might decide she is happiest living alone. People are different.

A. She is not a child.
B. She is doing what SHE wants to do.
C. You need to butt out of her life and stop trying to control her.

I really hope she gets in to uni... a long way from home.... she will be absolutely fine.

OP this is AIBU, the views expressed on here are not necessarily those of the person posting them.
AIBU is seen by some people as a place to post opinions other than those that they truly believe.
😉

She has so much time - she's only 18!

I was very much an introvert with few close friends at that age. University, and more than that, an Erasmus scheme year abroad were where I found my tribe - still in touch with them 30+ years later.

I didn't even meet my DP until 10 years post university graduation.

Beautiful life for her.
I wish I was "allowed" this some thirty years ago, in my own country.
Needless to say, I'm still dealing with some psychological damage, although more or less
I have the life desired.
YABU.

She sounds amazing, and happy with how she is.
And the comment about her not having a child or partner... she is 18 years old FFS. A couple of years ago, she was a child herself.

Please let her be her own person, I’m 51 and I’m still struggling with my mum making it clear I was a total failure because I was quiet and shy .

She sounds fine to me, although I'd add she isn't really a child now.

@MoveToParis She is having the time of her life. It's so refreshing when you hear of a young person not being influenced by all the social media shite. This takes a lot of confidence.

She sounds amazing. Confident enough to do what she wants to do. Why do children have to have boyfriends?

You need to accept her as she is...not try to force her to do things she does not enjoy doing.

As long as she is happy then that is all that matters.