To say DH can’t see female friends alone?

You can say what you like OP and he will then choose to either comply, defy or lie. You need to think about what each of these options would mean for your marriage, because none of them are great. Best case scenario is to be on the same page with a partner about opposite sex friendship, so if you don't like it, you're better matched with a person who doesn't do it. Did he have all these female friends when you met him, or is it new behaviour? If they've always been a feature, why are you suddenly worried? If they're new, what has changed?

Same. It's not something I'd be cool about again.

If he's untrustworthy, leave him or leave him to go about his business in peace while you stay with him.

YABU!

🚩 🚩 🚩

^ that’s you

HTH

I've never accidently fucked someone and I've never come across anyone who has.

The intention is always there. Unless it is non-consensual.

So yes, you will either cheat or you won't. It really is that simple.

Dress it up with feelings and circumstances and whoops didn't mean to, went to buy a paper and tripped dick first into a fanny as much as you like but it doesn't change the simple fact that cheating is a choice you make. Always.

And not just one choice.

Choice after choice after choice leads you there.

To talk, to keep secrets, to spend time with them, to get close to them, to lie to your partner, to kiss them etc etc.

Cheating is the culmination of a series of choices. It is not something that happens to you while you were not paying attention

"Your desire for your dh not to have female friends (acquaintances are fine) is completely valid."

You sound very controlling like the OP.

That first sentence is a monumental crock of shit.

Yanbu BUT you are not dealing with this correctly.

Your desire for your dh not to have female friends (acquaintances are fine) is completely valid.

It's not as simple as he'll either cheat or he won't, the intention may not be there but emotions are shared and one thing can lead to another.
This idea that he's either a cheat or not does not take into account situations.
So naive to think that this is an either or thing. Ridiculously naivety on some posters' part.

Every smart person knows this.

So why not explain this to him?

I enjoy male company in a group setting but there's no way I'd hang one on one, it's just asking for trouble.

YABU. My husband told me I couldn't go and see an old friend visiting the country recently. Well, didn't tell me I couldn't, but said that he wasn't happy, why the fuck would I want to, can't believe I would do this. I didn't go. I am extremely depressed and trapped in a shit relationship. Would you want your husband to say that about you and your relationship?

In a trusting relationship, you let the other person live their life. If it isn't trusting, you have bigger problems than the female friends.

(Working on an out, before people attack me. Last time I made a comment like this I had people tagging me for days to stick the boot in and tell me I had no self worth).

If you can't trust him, end the relationship. Simples.

My grandfather used to say ‘If they’re going to go wrong, they’ll go wrong in their lunch hour’
You can try and control him, track his phone, check his computer, brand his arse.
But if he chooses to be unfaithful, you can’t really stop him. Why be with someone you don’t trust?

Is it specific women for specific reasons (possibly YANBU), or all women (Probably YABU, and a bit of a nut job)

Alrighty

Hmmm...
I'd be massively pissed off if DH told me I couldn't meet up with male friends one on one.
In fact I have before, gone for a night out in the pub with one when I was away from home.
Completely innocent.
So I'd be a massive hypocrite if I said he couldn't do the same.
Depends how much you trust your partner really

I can understand the feeling of envy. However I lost my best friend to this mindset. Me and my ex Best Friend had nothing sexual at all between us other than the fact that we briefly got together TEN YEARS before he and his wife got together, and even then only casually, Yet his wife still believed I fancied him a decade later! I honestly didn't! Sadly this led to the loss of my Best Friend. So I dunno what to say, please judge wisely as important friendships can be lost through unnecessary jealousy :(

This

I feel conflicted about this!

I'm fine with female friends from before we got together, life long friends if you like!

I'd be fine with someone I'd met who he was doing something with regularly like a work colleague, a hobby friend, eg a coffee post hobby or someone he met through a kids activity they both supervise, like a lunch after swimming or something.

But a random new friend? Someone he no longer works with? A meet up that sounded like a date eg, drinks or dinner just the two of them, I would be uncomfortable!

Make of that what you will! Context is everything! Other things I would consider, if I thought the woman fancied him or if she were his 'type'.

I trust my husband though so who knows why I feel that way!

If you can’t trust him to be alone with female friends then just end the relationship. Either your fears are founded (in which case you’ll be better off) or unfounded (in which case he will be better off…)

If he wants to go round sticking his dick in women then he will do it whether you 'ban' him from seeing his female friends or not

You'd have to have a tracker implanted in him or follow him round.

Either he's going to be faithful or he's not.

If you can't trust him not to cheat, why are you together?

You're just papering over the cracks with this and not actually addressing the issue.

Have you discussed how you feel with him OP? That's where you need to start. Beyond that we need more details to decide what is and isn't reasonable.

But that's completely different. You aren't saying he's not allowed to see these women - you're discussing it with him, and because he trusts your opinion based on history, he's agreeing.

It still sounds a little unnecessary, because as you've said, the time he did think you were just being irrational, when it got inappropriate in some way he recognised it and (like any decent partner) removed himself from the situation. So there was ultimately no need for you to manage that relationship for him, he did it fine himself.
But either way, it doesn't sound like it's led to a situation where you unilaterally lay down a rule "you can't see her".
If OP had posted "AIBU to talk to my partner about how uncomfortable I feel around his relationship with a couple of female friends because of [example behaviour], I'm hoping he'll see why I don't like it and change the way he is around them" she'd have got completely different responses.

My DH & I agreed when we got married that as a boundary so we both felt comfortable, not to open the door to emotional affairs etc, not to make a habit of seeing opposite sex alone.
It's not a hard & fast rule of never ever + it's defo not about not trusting the other person, but respecting how the other might feel.

However, if it's something you guys do, to try & stop it might be difficult. Could you suggest he invites them over for dinner/ drinks/ a games night + try to make them your combined friends a bit more?

Unless he has a long history and cheating then yes, YABU

If my bloke tried this our relationship wouldn’t have made it to six months. Fortunately he had more sense.