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AIBU?

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Original poster

To be annoyed with friend cancelling last minute ?

33 replies

wardrobescmose · 21/07/2024 17:16

My good friend introduced me to her friend around 10 years ago.
We are friends but not as close as she is to good friend.
This girl is getting married on Wednesday and my good friend (we will call her Kelly ) is invited to the wedding and night do.
The wedding is only for a small number of people so totally understand why I was only invited to night do.
It's a hour away from me and I don't have a car,so was getting public transport (bus ) and then a taxi.
I said to my good friend a month ago it's quite far for me to get too and she made a song and dance "oh you have to come,it's her wedding ,we will be together ,I know you don't know anyone but it will be great ,why don't you stay at mine on the night "

So anyway booked the day off work
Bought my outfit
She text saying "sorry I've decided I'm not going to bother with the night do ,only the wedding "

That's it ...so I've taken a day off work
The bride thinks I'm going
I've bought a outfit
I know nobody else and she's turned around and said that
Aibu to be annoyed here ?

OP posts:
AGodawfulsmallaffair · 21/07/2024 17:59

I’d be furious. Take the outfit back and go to work.

ComingUpTrumps · 21/07/2024 17:56

wardrobescmose · 21/07/2024 17:49

I'm really fuming tbh
I know I should just be like whatever but it's a bit blah I think

I completely get that and you have every right to be!

Lurkingandlearning · 21/07/2024 17:51

The reception doesn’t have to be a late night. You could both leave at 10 go to bed as soon as you got to her place and then she’d be well rested for the cinema.

There is a whiff of bullshit about her reason for cancelling. If she sticks to it just explain that to the bride and say you regretfully won’t be attending as friend has changed arrangements.

Don’t be surprised if that is all news to the bride.

Original poster
wardrobescmose · 21/07/2024 17:49

I'm really fuming tbh
I know I should just be like whatever but it's a bit blah I think

OP posts:
LegendInMyOwnLunchtime · 21/07/2024 17:30

I’d be saying “no no you have to be there! You persuaded me to go … and tell her all your prep”

ComingUpTrumps · 21/07/2024 17:27

wardrobescmose · 21/07/2024 17:21

@ComingUpTrumps she said she's at the cinema the next day and doesn't want a late night

That seems unfair, as it’s quite a flimsy reason, especially considering it sounds like you’ve really put yourself out to attend the wedding and it was at her request in the first place.

I’m sorry for sounding judgemental - I’m just trying to imagine how I’d feel in this situation. I wouldn’t be happy. Have you thought about telling your friend how much you’ve gone out of your way to attend the wedding? Not to be passive aggressive or anything, but more so she realises how much of a challenge it’s been for you to be in a position to go to it.

Also, could it be that actually your friend doesn’t really want to go to the wedding? Perhaps that’s why she wanted you to go with her so much - except, now, she’s actually decided she really doesn’t want to go at all? I’m just wondering.

Original poster
wardrobescmose · 21/07/2024 17:21

@ComingUpTrumps she said she's at the cinema the next day and doesn't want a late night

OP posts:
ComingUpTrumps · 21/07/2024 17:20

I’m sorry this has happened, and YANBU at all. I’d be annoyed if I was you. Has your friend said why she’s not going to the evening bit and just the wedding?

I know this is a tough one, and I also appreciate it’s you that’s going, not me. If I was you though, I think in this situation I might go anyway, to make the most of it - although I do realise it’s very daunting when you don’t really know anyone there. If you decide to go, I hope you have a lovely time.

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