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AIBU?

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Original poster

To be annoyed with friend cancelling last minute ?

33 replies

wardrobescmose · 21/07/2024 17:16

My good friend introduced me to her friend around 10 years ago.
We are friends but not as close as she is to good friend.
This girl is getting married on Wednesday and my good friend (we will call her Kelly ) is invited to the wedding and night do.
The wedding is only for a small number of people so totally understand why I was only invited to night do.
It's a hour away from me and I don't have a car,so was getting public transport (bus ) and then a taxi.
I said to my good friend a month ago it's quite far for me to get too and she made a song and dance "oh you have to come,it's her wedding ,we will be together ,I know you don't know anyone but it will be great ,why don't you stay at mine on the night "

So anyway booked the day off work
Bought my outfit
She text saying "sorry I've decided I'm not going to bother with the night do ,only the wedding "

That's it ...so I've taken a day off work
The bride thinks I'm going
I've bought a outfit
I know nobody else and she's turned around and said that
Aibu to be annoyed here ?

OP posts:
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Original poster
wardrobescmose · 21/07/2024 22:01

Thanks everyone
Feel a lot better knowing others would feel similar to me

OP posts:
itsmylife7 · 21/07/2024 20:32

Did you post previously about this friend putting pressure on you to attend the evening do?

JollyHolly30 · 21/07/2024 20:28

wardrobescmose · 21/07/2024 17:21

@ComingUpTrumps she said she's at the cinema the next day and doesn't want a late night

This is THE most pathetic excuse I have ever heard. I couldn't be friends with such a lemon.

Branleuse · 21/07/2024 20:22

Doreen, you bloody talked me into it, ive now booked time off work and bought a new dress and youre pulling out? Come on, its only the cinema, youll be fine.

Catlord · 21/07/2024 20:12

Plus a message to say 'well, I agreed to attend the evening after persuasion from and an arrangement of a bed you as it's a long round journey late. It's disappointing as I didn't want to let Kelly down last minute but am now going to have to do just that, or the 2hr journey. If I'd known you would pull out, I could have decided what to do a lot earlier'. I wouldn't mention the outfit as that's not her issue really but the rest of if is her letting you down last minute and very rude.

Catlord · 21/07/2024 20:07

It's so rude. Bloody cinema.

Could you return the outfit and pay for a taxi the whole way?

SweetCreamandCaramel · 21/07/2024 20:05

Oh, and the cinema has got to be an excuse for something else. It makes me suspect she is doing something else the night of the reception, and dropped you for it.
Friends like this you can do without, they don't change.

SweetCreamandCaramel · 21/07/2024 19:53

I couldn't be friends with someone like this. If she wanted to be "fresh" for the next day, than why agree to go to the reception in the first place? You can go to the cinema any time, that is an absolute lame excuse.
Op I'd not bother going.

I'd message back and say,

"Hi, it's disappointing that you are letting me down last minute, especially after you persuaded me to go to the reception in the first place. I have wasted time, and money buying an outfit, taking the day off work etc, and now cannot go. As you are well aware, I live far away, would have difficulty getting home afterwards, and I don't know anybody there.
A cinema trip you can go to anytime. It seems your plan with me was a back up to something else. I don't take kindly to being messed around, and won't be arranging anything else with you."

KreedKafer · 21/07/2024 19:45

YANBU, especially as she’s bailing on the evening do because she’s going to the cinema the next day?! It’s a film, not a hike up Ben Nevis. How ‘fresh’ does anyone need to be to sit in a comfy chair and inhale popcorn for two hours?

She sounds like a selfish dick.

Original poster
wardrobescmose · 21/07/2024 19:38

@Catlord no I don't think so
It would be a case of getting a taxi to the bus station then 2 busses
It's probably gonna take nearly 2 hours

OP posts:
Catlord · 21/07/2024 19:26

If that leaves you with an expensive journey home I'd say so seeing as she's left it very last minute for you to politely cancel at a small wedding. Can you get a bus home at a reasonable time or still stay with her? I wouldn't cut someone off for this but it is a dick move .

YesThatsATurdOnTheRug · 21/07/2024 19:14

Just explain to the bride that your plans depended on x and now that she has decided she needs to be 'fresh' for the cinema you won't be able to make it. Return the outfit (unless you love it!) and job done.

DoreenonTill8 · 21/07/2024 19:11

You sure she's not planning on taking someone else from the wedding home?...

RunningThroughMyHead · 21/07/2024 19:10

wardrobescmose · 21/07/2024 19:05

She's just text saying
Awww sorry but I just want to be fresh the following day
It's gonna be too long of a day if I stay all day

I'd reply,

"Well, I'm sorry, but you said we'd be there together and I could stay at your house. You're really letting me down last minute. I appreciate you've decided you don't want to go but more notice would have been nice, it's put me in a difficult situation now".

YANBU at all, I can't believe she'd;

  1. let you down like this
  2. let the bride down so last minute, over what, a cinema trip? How f-ing rude. You don't just skip a wedding reception last minute for other plans. She clearly puts her own wants above everything else.

I'd ditch her. Block her and move on.

ComingUpTrumps · 21/07/2024 19:09

I’m sorry, OP. This is a tricky situation for you to deal with and it’s obviously not fun for you. How would you feel about being open with you about how she’s made you feel? I think you’re well within your rights to tell her how you’re feeling because of her no longer going to the wedding.

Connected1 · 21/07/2024 19:08

wardrobescmose · 21/07/2024 19:05

She's just text saying
Awww sorry but I just want to be fresh the following day
It's gonna be too long of a day if I stay all day

Text her back and say "but I'm only going because you talked me into going!“

Original poster
wardrobescmose · 21/07/2024 19:05

She's just text saying
Awww sorry but I just want to be fresh the following day
It's gonna be too long of a day if I stay all day

OP posts:
Original poster
wardrobescmose · 21/07/2024 18:09

@Psychoticbreak no she's single and deffo not pregnant

OP posts:
romdowa · 21/07/2024 18:08

The cinema? That's the lamest excuse I've ever heard.

Errors · 21/07/2024 18:07

I’m normally pretty laid back about people flaking on plans but this would annoy me

Psychoticbreak · 21/07/2024 18:06

Has she been trying for a baby by any chance? Could she be pregnant?

Silvesterthecat · 21/07/2024 18:06

If I was the bride (her good mate!) then I’d be fuming at a day guest who can’t be arsed to stay for the evening as she’s going to the cinema the next day!!!! She really ought to go and stay and you should go too, even if you both leave fairly early evening

Original poster
wardrobescmose · 21/07/2024 18:06

@MrTiddlesTheCat she's still going to the wedding but then going home after the meal
I wasn't invited till 7pm on the night
She won't be there for that

OP posts:
MrTiddlesTheCat · 21/07/2024 18:04

Do you think she's still going but tricking you into pulling out?

WhatNoRaisins · 21/07/2024 18:02

Not unreasonable to be disappointed in your friends behaviour here. Is this typical of her behaviour?

Opinions may vary here but I don't think that the evening do of a wedding is a huge deal, surely it's just a buffet and a disco. For a day invitation I'd keep my commitment as that's catered and more expensive but I wouldn't feel bad about bailing on an evening do.