To wonder if they're two faced

Hmm, as an outsider., and as someone who has worked for 50 plus years , the best advice is to stop the gossiping yourself, the other people have made it plain to you that you have crossed a line somewhere without saying a word , and now , you are gossiping about them, on an international thread .That's what we see, you are also sharing far too much personal information about your fertility problems, because someone bit you, learn to ignore it, you came here for opinions and don't like the answers, which is understandable, you are feeling defensive and hurt .
My advice is to either change your job or learn diplomacy. I'm not being harsh , we have to work for a very long time , make it as happy as possible and if you can't, move on.
Not everyone gossips!

I was genuinely shocked to read the Op was 34.

I can’t imagine what you would have been like at 14 OP.

I think that’s a good call removing yourself from social media. It was obviously giving them power to hurt and snub you
and now you have taken that power off them hurting you and stopping causing you the waste in time thinking about the whys?
you need to think who cares now and try make some real and genuine connections. You don’t need to waste any more head space on this or them

So you are complaining about them possibly being the sort of people who talk about others behind their backs - like you do?

🤷 They may be. But they are just people you work with. Does it really matter if they don't admire your social media posts or talk about you like you talk about others? Just interact with them professionally, stop talking about people behind their backs and get on with your life. It's not as big a deal as you're making it.

i will bow out

Quite surprised at the tone of some of the responses here. Quite harsh. OP has confirmed they go for after work drinks once a month and after a few drinks, the trio share frustrations about their manager. It’s hardly an anything unusual at that rate, there must be a lot of love for your own managers to be so up in arms about it.

Agree that @courgettes4eva has won the hypocrisy award. OP mentioned the then half a dozen comments which had been posted, but it must almost be at a dozen by now, even after saying they would happily vacate the thread. Borderline trolling.

it is chat

we don’t have to specifically answer anything

we are… chatting 🤷

Yes you do. We all do. It's the nature of mumsnet.

You keep coming back to this thread to remind OP she sucks and you're glad she's infertile. That's bitchy.

A little self awareness wouldn't hurt you.

where are my bitchy and toxic behaviour?

Calking someone who freely admits that are a gossip and engage in poor behaviour, toxic behaviour and bitching…. exactly how they describe themself and essentially saying… that is shit and stop… is not “bitchy and toxic”

Don't you understand how chat threads work?

Tbh I think you're kidding yourself, and engaging in gossip about who you see as underperforming, not liked as much etc ain't becoming for anyone. You don't and won't make any meaningful friends or work colleagues like that. You're not a people pleaser, you're just taking the easy route of passive aggressive bullying with the other two. Your obsession of seeing who's liked or commented on what on social media and reading too much into it is ridiculous and immature.

Be kinder? Coming from someone desperate to fit in they behave in ways they’re now on the receiving end of and don’t like.

to answer your question, they probably think you’re a two faced bitchy person and they’re right. You’re trying to make out you’re a people pleaser but then actively bitching.

take your own advice, be kinder

I have some genuine advice for you - surround yourself with people who will bring you up, you’ll always rise to the lowest level of who you surround yourself with people who are not the kindest as you’ve admitted you’ll fall the lowest level amongst the circle.

"We are answering, just not in the way OP wanted."

Ok @Werweisswohin? I wasn't replying to you. I was commenting on a poster who seemed to be taking pleasure in give the OP a repeated kicking despite specifically saying that she didn't want to answer OPs question.

"Have you read the thread?

My view is almost unanimous

The OP’s years of bitchiness with these two has now turned on her

So really, what advice can one give aside from…. don’t engage in bitchy toxic behaviour at 34 (at any age really but you can be far more understanding if the Op was, let’s say, two decades younger!)"

And what about your bitchy and toxic behaviour @courgettes4eva? I was just pointing out your hypocrisy. And although I've read through and see that you weren't alone in your opinion, I specifically replied to you because you were obsessively replying to her thread despite thinking her question was pathetic and not wanting to help.. So your only reason for posting was nastiness. Hypocrisy. Maybe you should stop engaging in toxic bitchy behaviour..are you a teenaged girl?

She specifically asked people to respond to her question, and you had a problem with that too.
I didn't really have anything to say to about her about social media, but it would be nice if you didn't derail her thread with your petty nastiness.

To answer your question they don’t want to be friends with you or show anyone they like or interact with you on a friends level that’s my opinion
they are distancing from you
I think they are probably talking about you with others and have probably decided they don’t like you it was probably inevitable from what you said.
I think you need to learn from this , if you can!
don’t get involved in other people gossip and nastiness of course they will eventually turn on you. Why people please on people that will turn their nastiness on you eventually. You should be Mature enough to see the error of these ways and yes most people might have done something like this in past but most probably will learn from this not to! You will never gain anything from talking nasty or negativity behind peoples backs you will never gain true happiness or friends from doing so! You wil attract only people that arnt worth the time if you carry on this way.
I’d remove them off all social media accounts so they see nothing and if they ask say you were only having family and close friends on sm from now on for a few reasons. It will give them less to talk about you in the future and less you can overthink about it. It may annoy them but so what feel good about getting rid of them smile and say hi if they ask if ok say yes of course have a nice day
give them nothing but false niceness what can they say about that.
i think it’s best as you shouldn’t be noticing all this or being fixated and bothered about This anyway
my best friend doesn’t like or comment on my stuff and I don’t care , I know she’s still my very valued friend and a click of a button or not, won’t alter that and doesn’t matter

Reminder - the question is around whether people ignoring posts online is suspicious when they seemingly interact with everyone else's.

This made me smile.

We need a “Reminder” ie don’t suggest i don’t engage in bitchy toxic behaviour but stamps foot i demand you answer my question only

We are answering, just not in the way OP wanted.

You're a gossip and a people pleaser? Doubtful.

Stop being a gossip, work on your own interests and get some new friends.

PS sorry about the infertility, if you would have liked to have kids, but that's not an excuse to be a two faced gossip.

So just because other people gossip, you think that makes your behaviour acceptable? Would you kick a kitten because other people do it? Rob a bank? Murder someon?
You say you are 34????

You've admitted you can be gossipy and mean about others
Why do you expect kindness here when you exhibit shitty behaviour?

Easy one: go off social media. I have never had it and nothing I have learnt so far is making me want to have it. It is toxic.