Are you twins? The excuse she needs.

I don’t really get why the twins comment bothers you, as it’s just people saying you look so alike in terms of your natural features (hair, eyes etc). It may also be your mannerisms that are very similar:
But weight is a whole separate issue, your weight changes due to lifestyle etc. You could have identical twins where one is a size 24 and the other 10. No one is calling you fat when they say you look like her, they are focusing on your other features and mannerisms.

You know twins don't have to look the same or be the same size right? what has weight got to do with anything

Do you know what twins are? I mean you get boy/girl twins, they don't assume people mean the girl has a cock when calling them twins lol.

People mean twins to be the same age and at a year apart its a common mistake especially when young.

My DH was often mistaken as a twin because although a year apart his brother is short and he is tall so they where the same height all through childhood until teen when DH got tall and BIL stayed short and people stopped assuming twins. They look nothing alike though.

@Spacespice well done for reflecting on what's been said here this morning. I actually had a somewhat similar (although I am fat) reflection that stopped me in my tracks a few years ago.
As I say, I'm fat, size 16-18. I have a cousin who is really overweight, size 24-26. One day talking to an uncle I see rarely he suddenly said oh goodness you're Freckle, I got you mixed up with Cousin, you're so alike.
I was so offended that he had got me confused with my massively overweight cousin when I had lost weight recently and thought I was looking well. It took me quite a while to realise it was all in my head about weight and I should have been incredibly flattered to be mixed up with my 10 years younger, stunningly beautiful cousin with to die for cheekbones and piercing blue eyes. And when I stopped just looking at weight (as that was what was in my head ALL THE TIME) I actually started seeing how he mixed us up. And feeling better about myself that I look well.
If you can reframe your thinking so it's not always about weight you might find it healthy

What an excellent response.

one think that stands out to me is you said she replies with something along the lines of ‘I can’t be that fat then’. It seems like you BOTH share the same idea that weight means you can’t look alike. That you both think that makes me wonder if it’s something that was said to you as children etc. You both manifest food issues in different ways, and that usually means it’s been passed on from family. Maybe some therapy would be beneficial for you both to unpack some of that.

The thing is this. If family member’s and their concerned ‘helpful’ hints worked? There would be way fewer fat people. When fat people are telling you that it doesn’t work, that it just fat people feel like shit don’t you think you/the world in general should listen to them?
I only lost some weight when I decided I was worth it. And being constantly reminded I was fat and people making comments where they’d clearly been talking about me behind my back did nothing to make me feel worth it. It’s that simple.

Twins don’t have to be identical either. My twins are boy girl, one has Down syndrome and the other not. The idea that you couldn’t be twins because one is larger than the other is ridiculous. I get asked if they are twins because they are clearly a similar age. If there is only one year between you both probably look the same age!

Erm, twins can go on to be totally different shapes and sizes in life. It doesn’t mean you don’t still look alike.
Maybe people just spot something in your facial features that really looks similar?

Fair play for taking the comments on the chin @Spacespice hopefully it'll lead to a better relationship with your sister, and yourself!

You know twins can be different weights right?

Not at all. You are manipulating what I am saying.

This has been scientifically researched. Various scientific articles on how the role of skin colour plays a part in facial recognition. Those classified as having African were far better at facial recognition than those classified as white Caucasian.

There is even research showing discrimination in facial recognition technology against black young females!

What a load of nasty replies!
If I were you I'd feel the same OP.
And I don't think you're policing her food.
As for not being subtle , you sound lovely
How are you supposed to act /, say?

You're offended that people think you look alike, as you think you look much better than your sister. It didn't come across as concern for her health.

People who say it are those seeing us together for the first time, so it is physical resemblance. She definitely sees this as also being weight related as she will comment that she doesn’t need to do anything. That’s what annoys the most.

Yes, it bothers you because no matter how “gorgeous” your sister is, you just don’t want to be seen as having any resemblance to an overweight person. You know well that when your sister makes those comments, she knows it’s not true. I would bet anything that she makes them to wind you up, knowing you hate that.

The people in camp 1 really piss me off, because my sister is a big girl. Size 24 and carries it on her stomach, neck and tops of arms/legs. I am a size 10-12.

I don’t even understand this comment. Do twins need to be exactly the same size? Can someone only look like you if they’re the same size as you?

My friend and her sister are twins. My friend is a size 20 and her sister is a size 8/10. They still look exactly the same in their face. It seems that you’re more bothered that your fatty mcfatty sister is getting compared to you

Exactly. You've managed to centre yourself in this op.

Another post that sounds completely made up to have a go at people who are overweight. What do people get out of this? 🤪

Unless you’ve had your genome mapped, you have literally no idea what genes you share with any of your family members. HTH.

@Spacespice , your subtle hints are not subtle.

Like your sister, I am size 24.

Your sister will lose weight or not, depending upon complicated factors that have absolutely nothing to do with you and your approval.

The only time to mention ‘light’ recipes is when she asks you for advice or support.

I stopped spending time with the ‘helpful hints’ people because they made me feel shite. Do you want to be that person in your sister’s life?

From the OP:
"The people in camp 1 really piss me off, because my sister is a big girl. Size 24 and carries it on her stomach, neck and tops of arms/legs. I am a size 10-12.

And whilst she has an issue with food, I, knowing I also carry the weight gain gene, make a conscious effort to stay in shape for my height of 5’8. Oh I’m also about 4 inches taller than my sister.

If they said ‘hey, you guys look really similar, you share the same hair/eyes/lips/teeth/insert other feature here’ well that’s not a problem. I think she’s gorgeous.

But twins? Really?

It really triggers my annoyance, probably more so because she responds by looking us both up and down and saying ‘I can’t need to lose that much then’ but she does, she doesn’t see how big she’s getting! And I’m terrified because she isn’t healthy and it might not sound like it from this post, but I love her. I want her to lose weight.

For information. I don’t tell her she needs to lose weight. I just say things like ‘Hey want to come to the gym with me?’ Or ‘Oh I have this recipe for a delicious meal; it’s super light too! Wanna come over and try it?’ Or even ‘Fancy walking in the Forest with me, I’m a bit scared to do it on my own’.

Advice appreciated and if I’m being a brat, you can let me know."

The OP is clearly mortified that the people who think they are twins might not have noticed the weight difference. The majority if that post is pointing out the differences between them and clearly states she would be happy if people mentioned facial features, i.e, make it clear they're not comparing body types.

The concern is tagged on at the end as an afterthought, that is being judgemental.

when you have a family where you all have the same hair and skin colour, you notice other features more easily

... What? What the fuck are you talking about? Do you think all black people look the same or something, because that's what it sounds like? Do you realise that most people in most families have the same skin and hair colour? @TheSerenePinkOrca

The "twins" vs "nothing alike" comment is normal for ALL siblings. People see different things when they look at people, so some will see huge similarities whilst others see differences.

One of my best mates (black, afro hair) is amazing at feature recognition as when you have a family where you all have the same hair and skin colour, you notice other features more easily. We work in a large school and when we have to give a description of a pupil (impossible to know all their names) she is just SO good at it, whereas I struggle and go with the obvious of hair colour and style.

Obviously even if you were identical twins it would be possible for one to be fat and one to be thin. When people say you look like twins they probably don’t mean based on weight, they mean you have similar facial features.