Invited to celebrate my twin sisters birthday

Perhaps the organising twin is fed up with being 'the organiser'? Who knows? There's clearly more to this.

I share my birthday with my twin brother and my husband and its always "our birthday' .People often forget though as its not that usual for three people to have a birthday on the same day.

Acknowledge yes, but if she isn't hosting it isn't her party and she won't be treated as if it is.

As a twin all I can say is that if you are going away for a birthday weekend with your twin for it to not be acknowledged would be extremely strange. If you don’t want to celebrate with your twin then don’t invite them but you can’t invite them to celebrate with you and ignore that it’s their birthday too. Until 19 my twin and I shared every birthday celebration but as we have gotten older and the parties fewer there have been times where we haven’t been together which is perfectly fine. But if we going to the other one’s party regardless of who organised it we would come together for the ‘happy birthdays’, cake cutting or any type of speech or thanks.

@Werweisswohin and @ZiriForGood don't you think one twin inviting all their friends and family, most shared with the other twin, to celebrate the birthday of just her and not her sister, is making quite a statement? This is more than not just getting on.

It would be different if they had very different circles.

Well, did you help organise it?

My twins will be 27 this year, and though they are very close, one is very type A while the other is more type B. Twin A is very much the organiser and when an event is intended to celebrate the both of them, it is super obvious. As is when an event is strictly for him. Namely because he'd expect his brother to help with the preperations and plans for events that he wants to be recognised in. There is no room for misinterpretation and I can't imagine Twin A responding positively to Twin B trying usurp events and parties that are intended to be only for him because Twin B is too lazy to organise his own or just expected that it is Twin A's job to do everything for him because he's already doing it for himself. And again, they have no issues. You couldn't find two closer people.

You are individual people before you are twins.

I’d actually be quite wary of not lumping twins together if one was having a party/trip as I know many get sick of this

It seems odd to suggest that the OP's sister can't possibly have her own birthday celebration.

It sounds from your post as though she is organising it and doing the invitations?

That’s true but if both twins are at the birthday celebration it would be extremely rude as well as weird not to acknowledge one of the twins.

Why is it odd?

Depends on what the invites said.

What penny though?

I'd just reply every single time "you do know what being twins is right?"

Hopefully the Penny will drop!

Of course. But it seems very odd if one twin would invite all their friends and family to celebrate just their birthday. And odd of the guests to go along with that.

Is it a joint birthday celebration though?

Siblings don't always get on well or have to do things together - that includes twins.

It is awkward, but if she is organising it and invited everyone and planned everything...what did the invites say? And did you guys never say "Hey, our 40th is coming up. What should we do?" Have you organised a separate party for the friends who aren't shared with your sister, and your husband's side of the family?

It doesn't sound like OP is clear on this, and organising a big party for all their friends and family for just herself would reflect badly on the twin so she needs to have a conversation with her.

I agree with this. If you want a birthday celebration, organise one. She is organising her own birthday celebration. The fact yours is on the same day doesn't mean it has to default to joint party if she is the one who made the effort to organise. There are twins in our family and they always organise completely separate celebrations, to the extent that I often forget they are twins. It's fine to want to celebrate in your own right and not always be lumped with someone else. I think you need to organise a 40th bash of your own.

Has she sent out actual invites in the post or something along those lines? But not told you. I would be responding each time - we are twins it’s a joint birthday. Did you forget??

Isn't it just a reflection of who is organising the party? If you invited everyone and booked the venue or hosted, it would be your birthday celebration, surely.

Is your sister doing all the organising and calling it as her birthday party, rather than organising it on behalf of both of you, and calling it ‘Twin and Meg’s’ birthday party?

But is OP actually hosting too or just tagging herself on to a party which her sister is organising/hosting?

You need to speak to your twin and get them to correct everyone. Otherwise you will have a miserable weekend watching her opening all her presents and being celebrated.