If your Dh died or you got divorced do you think you'd remarry

Death and divorce would have different outcomes for me.

If my dh died whilst we were still married and together then I would always feel that we were married, as we'd never divorced. I'd also want to protect what we'd build financially. I wouldn't want to disadvantage my dd. So I wouldn't marry someone else.

If dh and I divorced though, finances were separated etc then I wouldn't rule out marrying someone else. I'd be very careful with my financials though.

I could never promise that to my DC if they were really young as you never know what the future holds.

As it is mine have flown the nest, and I count my blessings in that I never had to...but no I'd not bother to remarry again, wouldn't actively look at dating again either.

No.
I'm 50 now and I really don't think I could be arsed to start all over again with a new bloke.

I think I would be happier plodding along on my own doing my crafts.

Please note my use of the word 'might'.

Nope! Not in my case.

And it's quite a leap to assume that single people are "lonely".

No I wouldn't.
A main reason would be to protect dc inheritance and house.

I'm 50 now, so if I got divorced or widowed I could be looking at 30+ years on my own. I wouldn't be in any rush to meet someone new, but I can't see myself staying single all that time. I love DH to bits but I imagine I'd eventually find a new partner.

I have a friend who is 72 and her fiancé died when she was 21. She told me a few years ago she regretted that she never met anyone else and had children. I wonder if she rejected any offers as she's lovely and would have been a catch.

Me too, some threads on here have been real eye-openers. I've had a chat with DH about this and we've both agreed that we'd never remarry and risk our assets going to anyone other than our kids. Would both be absolutely fine with the other being in a new relationship without financial ties though.

It definitely has for me. Non of that stuff would've occurred to me previously.

When we write our will I will ensure my money/ assets are safe for ds should I die first.

I am so glad to read this. I remember the raw pain you posted about when your DH died and it is testament to you that you were brave enough to open your heart again for yourself and your DD.

It's very easy to say no when you are living in a family unit. When people live on their own and I mean ON THEIR OWN not with children there, it is a harsh lonely life at home IF you are a sociable person.

I was 47 when my husband died suddenly, 5 years ago now. We had been together for almost 25 years. Back then I was adamant I wouldn’t ever want another partner. That no one could replace my husband. That we were soulmates and anyone else would be second best, and so not worth considering.

But now, 5 years down the line while my late husband is still a huge part of my life, and I talk to him every day, I realise that having someone to do things with, and more importantly having someone to do nothing with, makes life more fun. And seeing as I could still have 30 or 40 years ahead of me spending all that time alone doesn’t appeal as much now. I can’t see me marrying again, but I can see how having someone else in my life - the right person - would be a positive.

Exactly the same. Dont feel like any man could bring anything to my life at this point.

I understand why people do but personally couldn’t

Never say never but I can't see it, frankly. Nobody could fill the void left by DH. He's been in my life for almost 30 years.

I very much doubt that anybody else would want either of us.

It’s very easy to say no never to both these scenarios whilst you’ve still got your husband with you but it does happen, lots of people re marry.

I don’t know. I’m only early 40’s, but then I believe in heaven and how could I show up to be reunited with my husband, when I’ve remarried? It’s a strange old thought I appreciate.
But then who wants to live a lonely life if theirs another option and they find love again.

Absolutely bloody not. I'm divorced. Never going there again.

Anyway- I have a lovely neighbour who is now 88. She had a fucking awful husband. Put it this way.... when he died his own children- before the funeral- told her that she should now live a proper and full life and they hoped she would find someone who deserved her. One of her daughters would not even go to the funeral of her father. trust me, I don't know the story there but can only sympathise because he was a total arsehole.

She has a boyfriend who is 90 and lives about an hour away. I was having coffee with her and asked if they planned to marry. She shuddered and said there was no way she would ever look after another man again. She liked the companionship and the occasional intimate relations (as she phrased it) but she was going to have fun and travel and enjoy herself for a bit and not rinse out someone elses dentures.

Absolutely not. The legal and financial implications are far too messy. Especially if you have children. I am too old to be bothered now, but if I was younger I wouldn't discount a new relationship. But pensions/ finances/ property are best kept separate.

Absolutely not.

I met DH when he was the same age as i am now. I simply cannot imagine negotiating the whole sex with new partner thing TBH. Looking back I am surprised he had the energy. Looking in the mirror I'm surprised he had the motivation.

@Rachie1973 sending love, my DF has this, obviously a lot older then your DH I'm assuming, he's been diagnosed 7 years and still going strong (wasn't eligible for stem cell treatment due to other issues). Wishing you and DH as long and happy life as possible