If your Dh died or you got divorced do you think you'd remarry

Maybe I’m in the minority. I am divorced quite recently. I would remarry. I have taken time on my own and had therapy. I wouldn’t rush to live with anyone etc. I like my life. I don’t regret my divorce at all. But if it occurred and was 100% the right person yes I think I would. However I see marriage as less important it literally is a piece of paper. People change, through different stages of life. I would be older if I remarried so different stage to previously. I don’t believe anything is forever. Committing to someone in my twenties was probably a really stupid thing to do as I didn’t understand myself.

One of my friends Mums was widowed when we were teenagers (she would have been in her 40s) and when I was younger I always thought it was a shame she never remarried. Now I'm in my 50s with teenagers I can see why. I'd definitely never remarry, I'd want my kids to inherit everything and a second marriage would complicate that.

I might have a FWB arrangement and when the kids were all left home and settled possibly live with someone but never a marriage.

I totally agree
I'm in my early 50s and missed out first time as I gave 8 years to an abusive man.
Had kids alone and altho I'd love company and someone to share life with, I cannot find anyone worth my time or energy. I'm starting to face the idea that I may never meet the man I should've met when I was younger.

@SamW98 is 💯 right about the chances.

Maybe if it happened when I was younger. I'm 49. I think if it happened now I'd want to be alone. I couldn't be bothered to start a new relationship now. I believe I'd be happier alone.

I divorced ex and I'll marry DP. If I lose DP then I will give up on men for good.
I wasted 10 years of my life with abusive ex, I had given up on men entirely and believed they were all abusive arseholes. DP was not supposed to be a relationship, and Now I just believe most of them are. DP is the most amazing man I have ever met, he is absolutely perfect for me. Anybody else would be a huge downgrade and I have zero interest in risking being abused again for the sake of a mediocre at best relationship. I could never love any body else or be as happy with any body else and that wouldn't be fair to them either.

I'm old so no but I think if I was younger I would be more likely to if I was a widow rather than divorced because if I was divorced I probably wouldn't want to bother again as I would be glad to be rid of him and see being married as a miserable time, whereas if he had died, I wouldn't have bad memories.

I wouldn’t promise this to my kids, as you just never know.

It depends. I think I'd date but I don't know if I'd want to live with anyone again. I quite enjoyed living by myself.

I really love my husband. Not sure I'd be so lucky finding someone like him again!

I'm early 50s and 2 of my childhood friends have recently divorced and remarried. Both have definitely upgraded. They have both found solvent, funny, kind men but this isn't the norm.
Both had 100% resolved to be single forever but instead went for a bit of fun sex and ended up meeting so far (2ish years in) lovely people. I am happy for them as it can be lonely to spend decades alone especially when the kids leave home.
When you have kids it's easy to not feel so alone but once they have flown the nest it is a bit more lonesome.

I might have a relationship in time, but I would never remarry as I wouldn't want to put my/my deceased husband's assets at risk. I'd want to preserve them for DC.

Exactly- married 20 years first time. Coming up to 22 years with the second. I don’t have another 20 years in me

That's wonderful.

No way, I don't think I'd ever be able to fart and stuff in front a new man now. It would be so awkward having to go through all that again 🙃

I’m recently separated and I’m on the fence about remarrying. For now, I’m okay with my kids, my job and they will be my focus. But, I am only in my late thirties, what if I get swept off my feet! It’s never happened, so unlikely now at nearly 40 with two children but who knows!

Thank you. We’re quite philosophical about it. For now things are ‘ok’ so we take every day as it comes :) xx

No, my husband is lovely, has his flaws but generally a good egg. I’ve spent enough time on mumsnet to know there are some really lazy men out there.

You will never know until you're in the situation.

My wonderful almost perfect husband died when our kids were still quite young. We'd been together about 15 years

It was so so lonely without him and we'd had four very bery hard years during his illness, it was horrendous

3 years after he passed away I was on the dating scene desperate to fill that loneliness gap. Looking back......I was not ready.......as my heart was broken and still is

I'm v v happy by myself now
No desire to meet anyone but I also say never say never!

DH is more than 20 years older than me and in his 70s so it's a question I have asked myself. I would think no. For a start I have a disabled child and need our joint resources to go to him and our other child and as someone who worked for a probate solicitor i have seen things get very messy once a second marriage was involved. But also- DH is the best thing that ever happened to me. I simply cannot imagine finding anyone that would be as good as him and I can't imagine a better marriage than what he has given me.

I would not mind some companionship and sex though. But not a live-in relationship or marriage. DH is also a bit of a hoarder and because he is older than me was settled so i moved into his house. I'd enjoy having my own space that I could make truly my own. Plus I am quite a solitary person so think I'd be okay living on my own.

I would date. Id happily have lots of sex..I would never remarry or live with anyone again. I have no interest in comprising or sharingu space with anyone.

I am getting divorced. I would only get married again if one particular person asked me and my now adult DC were okay about it, which they would be.

I definitely don't want to go through dating again, so the only way I would have another relationship would be if it happened naturally, like with someone who was already a friend.

Yes, but my bar is very high and he’d have to be a financial equal to protect my kids inheritance.

My husband is utterly wonderful, I’ve never had to compromise myself and no “training” required, he enhances my life in every way and brings out the best in me. I hope if heaven forbid he died, I’d be lucky enough to find something similar a second time.

I’ve read that statistically, those with happy marriages are more likely to remarry if widowed, if your marriage is a bit crap I can see why you wouldn’t bother!

Id date, and I would have a relationship - but not marriage. I'm self sufficient and don't need to be married.

Apart from the fact I want whats mine to go to my children and not someone else or their children

So glad someone's said this.

It can be crushingly lonely living your life without an adult partner. Friends are all very well, but they can't always be there for you when you need them because they have their own families that come first, quite rightly.
I lived nearly 10 years on my own after my partner left me. It was so hard having to process hard emotions after traumatic events like death or ill health without someone that loves you and is available to support you. Coming home after a shit day and not having an adult to talk things through with because all your friends are understandably dealing with their families. Weekends spent almost entirely alone when DC is with their dad because everyone else is understandably spending time with their own families. Christmases after your child has gone to their dad's and you're alone because all around you are with their husbands and DC have been some of my saddest times.
I have great friends but as they all have young families, they can't always be there when I need some support and I understand that. Doesn't stop it being hard.

I've now met someone who has quite simply changed my life. I feel cared for, important, supported, loved and listened to. He is not involved in any way with my child and I would never move a man into their home, but I think until you have experienced that loneliness, it's quite naive to think you'd just crack on and not be affected.

I don't think you can truly know until it has happened to you

I agree with this. Yes, you can have an idea but the wonderful thing about life is that it often surprises you in pleasant ways.

I will always remember a thread on here about a woman who lost her husband young (she had kids too) and it was a brutal time. A few years later she met someone at work who she then went on to have another baby with and was very happy. She posted when they had just met and came back to update that they had got married and were expecting their first child together.

I thought that was rather lovely.