If your Dh died or you got divorced do you think you'd remarry

I love my partner deeply and would be devastated by a death but I like being married and would likely marry again if I met someone even half as amazing as my partner is.

I think my DH is like a dog. Lovely, I've enjoyed having him, probably not have another once he's gone.

@HighlandCowbag That’s hilarious, I think I feel the same way about both DH and the dog. They’re both lovely, but I wouldn’t need replacements. 😂

God no.

I was thinking something similar. Not tiring exactly, but I think that until you know what it’s like to be long term single after an established relationship, you can’t actually know how you will feel.

I have been divorced for 6 years - and my marriage was awful. In theory I would like to meet someone and have a functional loving relationship. The thought of being alone forever sometimes makes me very sad. I am also glad that I never have to be in a dysfunctional relationship again however, and my divorce is one of the best things that has happened to me.

I'd definitely get a dog.

No. I'm too traumatised from the abusive men I ended up with to risk more.

Nope, definitely not. I want all my money and assests to go to my children. I wouldn't want to be a step mum or parent other people's children. I wouldn't want someone messing my house up. I would have a boyfriend. I could go on dates and holidays with, though.

F*ck no. I want to remain on my own if DH pops his clogs. No desire to be with anyone else.

No. I’m not married actually but cohabiting with kids and I can hand on heart say I would never, ever live with another man again. He is away at a festival right now and things are so much more relaxed and quiet. No stompy man feet up and down the stairs, no loud farting noises, no standing in the way of every drawer I want to get in, no asking what we shall have for dinner, no moaning and loud swearing at kitchen appliances, no nagging for sex - the only interruptions, tantrums and neediness I am having to deal with is from the kids. I feel like a weight has been lifted.

He isn’t even a bad person and we have gotten to a place now, after years of arguing and negotiation, where he actually does around half the housework (minus the emotional labour obvs). it’s literally just that men take up so much space with their size and noise. They dominate and just add another level of stress 🫤

I would if I could, but probably a woman this time around. I think if I dated men again I’d always be comparing them to my husband, even if I didn’t mean to or want to.

Nah. I'd date but would never blend households or buy a house together. I'd want to keep my assets for my kids.

I'm sure there are blended families that work well, but gestures vaguely at the step parenting board. Seems like step mums get it in the neck coming and going.

😂😂😂

I think my DH is also a well trained, much loved "dog".

In fairness I think he would describe me as an untrainable cat...and would not be wrong.

I have no desire to train another puppy after 20 years of marriage but think he might be amenable to having a kitten if I slinked off 😂.

Nope. Not unless he was older, much, much richer and well trained. Also I'd want separate bedrooms, he would have to have hobbies and not be needy. Also be happy being groom for me at horse events. And happy to drive a lorry. Oh, and a good cook.

So basically nope.

I think my DH is like a dog. Lovely, I've enjoyed having him, probably not have another once he's gone.

yes, very dependent on age. Also on existing children. I would make a shit stepmum and I wouldn't want my DC to have to get used to another man either.
I often think stepmums have a really tough road.

Myself and DH are in our early 30’s and if I died I’d want him to eventually find love and happiness again with someone else. I wouldn’t want him spending the rest of his life alone.

I think it’s very dependent on who you are, your age and what you need in your life. If I was 60 and my DH divorced or died I probably wouldn’t bother!

I love how adamant you are, @CharlotteRumpling. 🤣
Im exactly the same, I wouldn’t want another man cluttering up my space!

No I would stay alone as it’s easier and less stressful to be alone, I feel like my dh and his family are my extra burdens and responsibilities and it’s exhausting

Not a chance in hell. But I am in my early 50s. I don't want to live with another man now.

You are quite a bit younger than me…I personally, would have no interest in another partner. I’d be happy (as much as I could be!) having my family and friends around me, that would be enough.

That's what I said, and thought, when my husband died in his mid/late40s. But now, in my early 50's my mind has moved. I wouldn't rule it out...there's a lot off live ahead, and living it with someone has soe appeal. Finding people to do things with is easy enough. Having no one to do nothing with can be hard at times. Just knowing that they are there

My DH died in 2023. No, I wouldn’t consider marrying again, but I’m older and see no reason to marry again.

I’ve got friends/family, and that’s enough now.

@Sagarmatha

...actually I thought I needed to if that makes sense.

It makes sense if you remember that society tells us that 'coupled up' is what we should all aspire to if we want to be 'happy'.

But I think that all you need to figure out is if you have been happy. If you think about it, I bet you have been. You've had complete independence to live life as you choose and you've had the joy of raising children. That sounds like a pretty good road to happiness to me.

I've had disastrous relationships, I'm currently very happily married (+35yrs). But if I were to lose DH I would never marry nor cohabit again. In fact, I wouldn't seek out a new relationship. Life with DH has been wonderful and, like my mum, if I were to become single I'd be happy with my memories, my grown children, my hobbies, and my friends.

I'm finding this thread fascinating as I'm single and basically never met Mr Right. I had a horrid relationship when I was late 20s early 30s that destroyed me and took 6 years to recover. Had kids alone and now 52.

I always thought I would meet someone and actually I thought I needed to if that makes sense.

I wonder now, given so many of you who have been happily married wouldn't seek to remarry again. Most of you seem very happy to accept a single life if your partner were to die.

Feel like we need an over 50 women's club! Or is that what the WI is!!!!

I don't think any of us really know how we will feel unti we are in that situation.

I'd been with DH since we were students - so 40 years, 37 of them married - when he died very suddenly and unexpectedly last year. No prior health scare, no indicators or major risk factors. Suddenly those notional plans for when we were both retired disappeared overnight.

I can understand both approaches. We didn't live in each others pockets, had many separate interests and both able to spend time alone quite happily and yet the "hole" left in my life is impossible to fill with more hobbies, more work or more anything else.

I'm not ready to consider anyone else, not sure that I ever will be but I can entirely understand that ache which drives people to try again. I'm not worried about financial complications - a good estate planner can manage that, I'm just not sure I'll ever be ready or even want to be ready for someone else.