Did the right thing, now cut off from everything

Being in someone’s will means nothing, especially when you’re not related to them. I’ve changed my will a couple of times. I could even show a previous will to a family member and tell them they’re in it, whilst knowing I have an up to date, witnessed version and they would be none the wiser.

It sounds like you let being in the will cloud your judgement and you did things like give up your career and have a child without the security of marriage.

Given you are now concerned about your health, I think you should prioritise yourself and your dd’s wellbeing. Could you even afford a protracted legal battle?

Op not sure if this has been suggested/addressed up thread but can’t you take him to court for support? Just thinking of the Kyle Walker situation?!

So again, I'll ask. You think there is nothing wrong with a father (or any man) saying sexual things to a young child? Because that is sure how you are coming across.

Geeze! It was something SAID, not done. You cannot put someone in jail for something they "might' have said if no one will confirm it.

Get a grip and learn how to read and comprehend.

And save your f'in prayers. My DD was a victim, and he got jail time because I fought for her. So save your false sense of self-righteous indignation and stick it.

You need to read all the posts

I think the craziest part of this whole post is how many people are standing up for the father. MN is usually full of "man hate" and how horrible a man is because he did some small insignificant thing. LTB yelled over the smallest thing. And I usually feel bad that so many men on here are automatically assumed evil just because they have a penis. Now we have a small child (assuming again, since she never said how old, but seems from the description she is young) saying she was told something sexual by her father and MN is all he didnt do anything wrong, she didnt repeat it. Have I fallen down the rabbit hole? Is this really MN?

So as I understand it your ex thinks you made your child make the allegation?

I think it’s rare for a child ( you don’t say how old) to make sexual abuse allegations that are unfounded. Would it be possible for your child to see a therapist ? I agree it’s best for you not to ask questions though it’s natural to want to, but a trained therapist would know the right way to encourage your child to speak and would hopefully know truth from made up story.

I think you can apply through the courts representing yourself. Maybe worth looking into?

Unfortunately unequal finances give the wealthier partner the upper hand and you can see you put yourself in a vulnerable position. Looks like he’s going to exploit that to the full.

Yes, I agree.

Thank you!

I think you need a bigger stick to hit people over the head with the truth.

It still wasn't good and verbally abusive to his DD, telling her something that was sexual in nature, no matter who it was about. I wish the DD had been brave enough to tell her story to the police or whoever helps with this kind of problem.

I wish I knew what he said, but then, I admit I'm nosy.

So because a young child did not repeat something they said happened then it never happened? Is that your reality? I pray nothing ever happens to any of your children because you seem to automatically side with the man awfully easily. A young child doesnt just make these things up (and if she's not young and she did make it up, thats a problem too). How often have abusers got away with it because their victim became too scared to "repeat it"

I’m sorry you’ve been though this OP, I have recently had similar happen and it is the most distressing thing ever to think something like that could have happened to your child. My DC made it up, it’s still quite hard to fathom but they have a very overactive imagination and think she combined things they’ve heard at school with bad feelings about dad because he’s pretty shit (but not for those reasons). I now know it was not true.

I my case, I’m pretty sure they didn’t tell my ex. I asked them not to unless they were absolutely sure.

How does your exH know? Did the police contact him?

I reckon he would have withdrawn the money etc anyway. You’re still entitled to maintenance etc. You need a good solicitor.

Mmm yes, OK, I'll report myself to the mumsnet police for my kids sleeping safely in their beds with no allegations of anything!!

Would you like to arrest me now or, mmm, maybe later?

TRY to read and comprehend. It had NOTHING to do with sexual abuse! It was something SAID to the daughter, and it ended up being nothing, since the DD would not repeat what he SAID. Not sure why you are so, so focused on sexual abuse that didn't happen, but, frankly, it's a bit creepy.

Please, get some help. If you have children under your care, I am scared for them. You are too easily angered and fly off the handle with no reason.

Does your ex and his family think you told your daughter to say that to get back at him. You haven't said how old your daughter is but she seriously needs therapy if she's either been sexualy abused or lying about being sexualy abused as neither of them things are OK. If it's the latter she needs to understand the consequences that can have on the person accused and also to people who have been sexualy abused and not believed.

This!

Oh I have been called for jury service. Null and void point though isn't it?

You're telling me that your dd says something against your dh and you're laying there at night, all happy because it hasn't been proven by people that don't live inside your house?
Yikes!!

This is the reason why women don't report rapes, because no one ever believes us!

He lived in the house.
He was our friend.
He was nice to us.
I smiled at him.

Yada, yada

I could say the same to you.

You can't say out of one side of you mouth "don't judge if you haven't been in a situation" and then make up scenarios in your head and victim blame the OP based on those assumptions out the other side.

I think you need to step away from this thread and hide it. It's clearly upsetting you to the point your ability to read, reason and communicate like a grown up has been impaired.

So saying sexual things to your young daughter is okay?
And since we have not been told what was said, but that it was obviously bad enough for them to investigate, we can only speculate.
Big difference between him saying to daughter "I want you to play with my penis in the bath" or him saying "that lady on tv has a sexy body" but considering it was actually investigated I'm going to assume its probably something pretty disturbing.

So sorry to hear of your very difficult situation OP. My sense is that this man is punishing you for the stain to his reputation, not because you are to blame but because punishing you makes him feel better. In other words he's taking out his anger on you, using it as an excuse to land some blows.

People really don't seem to understand that the OP's ex was accused of SAYING something of a sexual nature.

He was never accused of DOING something of a sexual nature.

Why do you want your exs money? To me it would be blood money. Just because he's wealthy shouldn't mean you are financially supported for life especially if you weren't even married. If that's the law that needs to change and so outdated for 2024. Totally different supporting a child but not continuing to support a fully grown adult. It reads like your bothered about the lack of money rather than the well being of your child. Surely your priority should be to ensure your child is adequately supported and has some form of counselling.

Well clearly you have, all hail! You must be the expert and whatever anyone else says is clearly wrong....