Was I wrong to say this to sister ?

I'd find that quite patronising. I'm not surprised it irritated her. She's a adult who can decide what she wants for her self

Sorry, I agree with all those who say that’s really offensive.

It reminds me of when my sister said, when I was about 35, "Do you think you’ll ever get married?", and my Auntie bought me a "Cooking for One" recipe book.

(I did have a cat, though...)

JC I can only imagine the siblings had never properly been single as adults 🤷🏻‍♀️

It’s very mean of them. Hope you’ve got your revenge since then but if not we are here to help you to choose relevant presents for them this Christmas.

I agree but I also don’t think you’ve intentionally been insensitive, I think it’s a case of someone wanting to ‘fix’ things for someone else and they don’t want or need that 🤷🏻‍♀️ but I do think you meant well.

Of course it was insensitive. Get a cat??? Get a cat yourself if you are that keen on cats. Probably less trouble than a husband.

She is not even married yet. She should worry about her own position frankly.

You were very wrong, OP. You should have suggested she purchase a parrot like the one on insta who whistles September by Earth Wind and Fire while bopping its head.

Seriously though, it is a touch insensitive as you have just moved out with a clearly financially stable partner to support you. Maybe everyone needs to just back off your DSis for a bit.

@AutumnalNights There is no difference between your sister's situation and yours. You are both dependent on other people for a roof over your head. Why don't you get a cat?

You come across as insufferably smug.
Living off a man is hardly a badge of honour.

This is so weird . Why are you so bothered about your older sister having a cat ? Why do people keep suggesting she gets a cat ? Why have you all just decided that because she’s 40 and living at home she needs a cat ? Why are you so offended that she doesn’t like your suggestion of a cat ? Why do your parents not just get a cat ? Why don’t you have a cat ? Cat . 🐈‍⬛

Eh... if she wanted to own a cat, she'd have one surely?

I like horses. I don't have one for a variety of very good reasons, much as I'd love one and it absolutely would be 'something to love' and 'give me joy'... I don't actually want my own horse.

I think it is really patronising and like you're saying 'well there is no hope for you, so get yourself a pet to lavish all the love and attention you won't give to a partner and child, upon'.

This^
Whatever you are saying now the underlying message from your suggestion: you won’t get a partner or children anyway so at least you will have a cat.
it doesn’t work like this. By the way you and your BF could separate in 2 years and you could be back to parents (as you are not paying mortgage) whereas your sister might find someone, move out, get pregnant and have twins.
So you probably need a cat as well, just in case.

She's 40 , if she wanted a bloody cat she'd get one

😂

Lucky? You've admitted a man is going to be paying your mortgage. I'd be ashamed that I couldn't contribute to putting a roof over my head at the age of 34, I certainly wouldn't be telling people I'm lucky. I wouldn't tell anyone at all!

I've just realised what I can call my next cat,
'Fiance'.

and you can be sure I'll be bringing that up every chance I get.

Did you think the cat would make up for you not being there anymore?

:)

Not the point at all of the thread but its insane to me, I'm a year older than op, but how i was able to move out at 16 to admittedly a massive shithole but it was independence, but then I've got friends my age and older who have been saving for years and still live at home, they're unable to afford property and rent is so expensive where they live they'd just never have a life.
Shitty situation for so many people. I knew a fella once who had a house he couldn't sell so he raffled it off. But again, shocking condition house and area wasn't exactly Notting Hill. I do think unless you're prepared to live somewhere that makes Gotham city look like Dorset, if you're single and a low/mid earner, you're pretty fucked.

Op, you didn't mean to hurt her feelings, write her a wee card saying you're sorry with some chocolates. I keep trying to convince everyone I know to get a cat because I want one but one DC is allergic to cat hair. She might be feeling sensitive if it's suggested alot. 💔

And if she does get a cat, I'd like a picture update!

Very OTT reactions on this thread. All of you who are berating the OP must clearly think there’s something shameful in being a single woman in your 30’s/40’s with, shock, horror, a cat, or you wouldn’t see OP’s suggestion as such an insult. You are all the ones who brought up the tired, sexist Crazy Cat Lady trope.

I got a cat when single in my 30’s - it wasn’t because I was a Crazy Cat Lady. Funnily enough it was because I like cats! People at the time, knowing my love of cats, had suggested to me that I got one; should I have been offended by this?

I’m married with a family now - so I suppose that means it’s now ok for me to have a cat! Phew! I’ve also suggested to my (single, fellow-cat loving) brother that he get a cat; he didn’t seem offended but of course it’s acceptable for men to have cats; only single women are shamed for it.

Single women are allowed to have cats FFS!

Sorry but that was a very weird thing to suggest. Nobody should be telling someone else what they “should” do unless they have specifically asked for your help or suggestions.

I had cats my whole adult life didn’t care 2 hoots what people thought, got to 50 ish & got a dog.

I thought this too 😳
if only there was a name for people who exchange money (mortgage) for sex…

Weird how many people buy into the stereotype of the single woman with a cat. I’m single and have a cat but you wouldn’t call me a sweet little old lady if you met me!

But wouldn't she get one if she wanted one?

Why does she need it suggested?