Not invited to christening

Aside from the established fact that it's horrible of her not to invite you, why do people think it's acceptable to discuss events that people aren't invited to in front of them? Rude af.

Not just unreasonable. I would be fucking fucking furious. How dare she leave you out after all you have done for her !!
She would be getting bugger all out of me ever again and I would tell her so!!

@Blackberryandcherry are you able to confirm if you have actually had a discussion with your friend and that they have actually confirmed that you are not invited to this christening?

has an actual conversation taken place between the 2 of you with her saying you are not invited?

Are you sure you're not going to be asked to be godmother?

My sister didn’t invite me to my nieces christening and kept it a secret till
after- her reason was because I was pregnant and she didn’t want her day overshadowed as I hadn’t announced to other people yet and she didn’t want anyone seeing my (tiny!) bump and asking questions and taking attention away from her day ! I had no intention of hijacking any other occasion for an announcement I was just going to text Close family after the 20 week scan!

Due to other family issues nobody has even met my dd 😔

I agree with this. Some people are just users. You've made yourself available and she doesn't value that.

If you christen babies, you're removed from the social aspect, though, unless your parishioners invite you to the after party? You just perform the ceremony. She's talking about not being invited to the ceremony and the after party and it hurts because she's a close friend.

Seriously? AND you threw her the baby shower.

She is definitely rude and not a true friend to you. Just a user. I'm so sorry.

You sound like a lovely thoughtful friend.
I would suggest that you back off from the friendship for now. She is unappreciative, and you may have overestimated the value she places on your friendship.

Also, as has been said @Blackberryandcherry she can NOT stop you going to the Church. It's a public place. I wouldn't though. Just ghost her. She clearly doesn't think of you as a close friend anymore, because you're not a mummy! What a nasty way to treat you!

If you had to put yourself in your friend's shoes and explain to someone sympathetic why you aren't invited, what would you come up with?

Of course you can invite whoever you want to a christening but I would make sure it was understood right before moving on.

Yeah ditch this 'friend' @Blackberryandcherry What a horrible way to treat you. How rude. Ghost her.

I had a similar thing happen years ago. I was still childless when a very good friend of mine (formerly a best friend...) had her first child, so I was the one running around after her in the early days and holding her hand through PND, babysitting, helping out. But then when it was her DC's first birthday, she only invited her friends with children. I was stunned. After everything I'd done (including shopping for birthday things!), I wasn't even welcome to celebrate the day with her.

It seems some people compartmentalise their friends like that when they become parents. "Mummy friends" and "everyone else". My lack of children at the time meant I was in the "everyone else" tier of friends.

i dont think its very clear that she was told? or did i miss that update?

Could there be more to this story?
I have christened two babies and I am about to christen a third. What I have learnt over the years is not everyone wants to be included in a christening and many see it as a big chore to attend, which is why my guest list has decreased over the years.

At one time in years gone by a christening was seen as one of life's privelages to attend, but I don't think people hold it in such high regard in these modern times. Perhaps she thinks she is doing you a favour by not inviting you.

She was told and told as an explanation she can invite whoever she wants

I agree with this

As a minimum she has been really thoughtless

Being blunt might shake her out of it

Are you 100% sure you aren't invited?

Ouch! Well it just shows that she’s a bit of a user. Back off.

Has she said you aren’t invited? It’s all very odd if she’s telling you all of this and then not inviting you. Unless she’s really clueless it would seem more likely that you are the exception to to family and baby friends.

She has done you a favour OP. All those babies. Once one starts balling - the rest will follow! On a serious note, just say to her it was a shame you weren't invited and that may trigger a response to why.

God that is terrible!

'I was really shocked not to be invited to x's christening, and I wonder if you are aware how much this is hurt me?'

And send.

I am not sure I would want to come back from that, even if she apologises and invites you. It is worth hearing her out, maybe she thought you were away etc.
[Clutching at straws]