Not invited to christening

Don’t give her a wide berth for a while.

Give her a wide permanently.

That’s just mean. I’d dump her - she’s shown you who she is and she’s not your friend. Sorry OP, life’s harsh sometimes.

This is a very good message to send her. I would, however, omit the last sentence, especially the bit about reevaluating the friendship. That is gifting her the chance to say that it is you, who has the problem.

I would text her and ask, “can I just confirm whether you are expecting me at the christening?” She may have just assumed that you know you’ve been invited, if she says you’re not invited then you know for definite and can then cut her off. It sounds to me like she will lose a good friend.

@Hellodarknessmyfriend that argument displays a clear logical fallacy: it is flawed to argue that, just because many Christenings in reality have nothing to do Christianity, it’s fine that this one shouldn’t also.

That's poor form, I doubt she holds your friendship to the same level. Does she do anything for you? She comes across as a right user. Won't be long before she's asking you to babysit

Tbh I'd have to let her know I'm hurt in this case. Very very poor form. I thought you were going to say family only, which is very normal and completely fine. Leaving you out is unkind.

@Blackberryandcherry I'm so sorry. That's truly awful. She's being unkind and thoughtless.

I’m a vicar and it’s this kind of attitude (from your friend, not you) that really tests me when it comes to Christenings.

Sorry, OP. This is rough for you.

It isn’t ”just thoughtless.”

It’s rude, crude and disrespectful.
As a pp said upthread, give this person a vacay from your life for a very long while.
I have a feeling she’ll be along soon enough when she needs something and you’re the convenient “friend” who can provide it.

I know the heartache this gives you and the embarrassment — but try not to let it bother you.
She’s the one who should be ashamed and embarrassed — you’ve been an amazing friend.
❤️

”Don’t love anyone who treats you like you’re ordinary.” (Oscar Wilde) applies for friends and family just as much as it does for lovers.

If she listed the people coming and the OP wasn't on the list, one would assume this to be a fair assumption.

She sounds like she doesn't deserve a friend like you. Sad when people treat you like this.

OP, you sound like such a kind and caring person, and it's a shame this friend doesn't value you. Don't be embarrassed, don't ask questions, just withdraw from the friendship and move on.
I suspect at some point she'll need or want your help, and will regret being so unkind.

She didn't. She said family are invited and then listed some kids names with their parents. She didn't say "you're not invited", OP has confirmed this wasn't said.

I've been in this exact same position sadly.

My so called best friend did this to me about 7 years ago, only I found out about the christening when she posted the pics on social media the followingday. So I confronted her and she said it was 'close friends only' despite all the other friends being there too.

Our friendship never recovered, we barely speak now except for a message at birthdays. But it still stings now even after all these years.

A children's entertainer? It's a christening, not a birthday party.

Why on earth are you embarrassed? You've got nothing to be embarrassed about, your so called friend on the other hand should be hanging her head in shame. Jesus, some people are shit.

If it’s a small gathering to keep costs down, why on gods green earth are they hiring a children’s entertainer?

Im sorry @Blackberryandcherry Its very thoughtless and shows that she is very blasé about everything you’ve done to support her - she doesn’t value you as highly as she should.

I would reevaluate the friendship completely.

Are you a people pleaser OP? I only ask because you are worried about feeling embarrassed when you have nothing whatsoever to be embarrassed about!

SHE has made herself look like the arsehole here- this isnt about you and anything you have done, this is about her acting like a nasty person.

She should feel bloody embarrassed and the fact that she clearly doesnt and you are worried about it indicates to me that your relationship with her is very one sided. Does she offer you support too or is it only one way?

I suspect that this is a pattern in your "friendship" - take a really good look at this and stop making people a priority when all you are to them is an option.

You were kind to your friend OP, you went above and beyond. You would be foolish though to ever do that again. That is not a friend, she has shown you this, loud and clear.

Allow her to wipe her feet on you again at your peril.

She did. She listed the invitees. The OP was not on the list.

I know! I actually feel sorry for the OP, who seems like a decent, caring person.

Yeah - sack her off. You are worth more than this poor treatment

Of course she's not! It's for the clicks.