Not invited to christening

That's even worse, asking for advice for a party she doesn't want you at! As others have said, her baby doesn't have friends and won't care who is there, so this is all on her.

Haven't RTFT, so this has probably been posted before.

A baptism/Christening is a religious service to welcome the child into the Church. It's an open service and all are welcome to observe and celebrate the event, so invitations are entirely superfluous except perhaps to tell people the date and time.

If the parents want to turn it into a private event they are perverting the purpose of the service. But they can't stop anyone from attending, and I don't think the vicar/priest would approve.

If there is a party afterwards they can of course make it private.

Be warned she is going to ask you to cater for the christening tea as she sees you as the childless skivvy.

Book a weekend away now and let her PAY for the meal and for someone to organise it.

Well that's even worse to be honest. So she's happy for someone without a child to faff about arranging her baby shower for 30 people for her but doesn't want someone without a child at the christening? Sorry but I'd have to call that out. At best it's just thoughtless, at worst it's down right nasty.

I’m getting flashbacks to TidyDancer’s (?) old thread where her mate asked her to do loads of stuff for her wedding even though she wasn’t planning to invite her (she had given her a save the date card to keep it free, presumably to be a skivvy!).

Has your friend asked you to sort out the church hall with decorations or do catering yet @Blackberryandcherry ?!

Ugh how thoughtless of her. She’s already discarded you as unimportant because you don’t have children.

You could point this out, or you could just retreat from the friendship. She’s made her choice.

Completely see why you would be hurt, but just one small thing.

If someone used annual leave to come see me, with or without children - I'd think that's their free choice. I'd presume they fancied a day off from work and were looking for someone to chill out with on it.

I would definitely not consider it a favour, a sacrifice or something to give merit for or have to repay.

Throwing a baby shower( aside from the fact that I loathe baby showers) is something a close friend does. It isn't really something someone should be asked to do.

I think she asked you, and I think she is more casual about the relationship than you. Add to that some people get ridiculous when they have a baby about their priorities, routines etc and let prior friendships go. Those people are not worth bothering about and are usually pretty dull anyway!

At least you know not to waste your annual leave.
I'm sure if she's feeling down she can ask one of her mummy friends after all you couldn't possibly know what she's going through.

Those parties with children’s entertainers are very weird @Blackberryandcherry and over the top.

Id give her a wide berth for a while, definitely don’t buy a christening present and arrange a nice day out doing something that childfree people can only enjoy.

I think you should tell your friend how hurt you are. She is not going to know otherwise, and personally I feel it is usually best to get these things out in the open. You can tell you are hurt not to be invited, and then distance.

It will fester otherwise and start to eat away at you.

Trying to keep numbers down but they have enough money to hire kids entertainment?? Even if it is just thoughtless she's shown you her true colours. Sorry OP as you sound like such a good friend 😔

The only person it's made look bad is her OP, so don't worry about telling your family, friends etc you've got no reason to think that you'll look silly. You're entitled to be upset especially after everything you've done and I'd be very very hurt.

Personally I'd take a big step back and just leave her to it. If she asks then explain why and how hurt she made you feel.

I wonder what the other friends in the group will think?

I would match her friendship energy and demote her to group meet ups/casual acquaintance .

And maybe have a party and invite all group except her and explain it's limited to family and a few friends then list the rest of the people in the group and their children . (I'm kidding really)

She's being a thoughtless arsehole. I would be cut to the bone by that.

Cross-posted with yours!

I would guess that the 'friend' had been thinking of a small christening, but then got invited to the christenings of her 'baby mum' friends so feels she needs to throw a party at least as good as theirs. So it's all about being 'in' with the 'mum' friends. And that is not at all what a christening should be. It's about welcoming a child into a faith, in front of the child's family and community. I've never heard of a children's entertainer at one!

Of course your feelings are hurt. She sounds shallow and insensitive, so I would become unavailable from now on.

Of course people decide who they want to invite.

And if this friend had stuck to family any godparents only, I don't think anyone would have raised an eyebrow.

But when deciding that she could have some other friends along, deciding on the basis of fecundity is rather odd. And I can see why that's hurtful to those who put a different value on friendships.

It's a sad fact that at times you do get out of step with some of your friends because your lives are moving differently. But usually that would be drift, rather than something as pointed at this.

But I think the only response now Op is drift from your side. Saying anything (other than, if asked why not going, giving the straightforward answer "I wasn't invited") will only stoke bad feeling. So just quietly step back a bit. Don't use your annual leave again.

Oh come on! You suggested to the OP that she could do this very thing and yet (clutching pearls/feelings of righteous indignation) it's not something you would do.

I'm paraphrasing what you've said (twice).

Why bother saying it? What was the point?

Stop wasting your precious time on this woman.

Did she ask you to organise her bab6 shower?

Sounds like you are going to stay with friends?

Hell would freeze over before I’d see the bitch again.

sorry wrong post

Sorry but she’s using you, she wouldn’t be my friend any more after this! Ditch and block, if anyone asks tell them the truth…