I know it's not a one-size-fits all approach, but sometimes I feel like men like me as a person and think I'm attractive but are missing some chemistry. It may not even be something I'm doing necessarily, might just be bad luck however I'm wondering if there's something I can do to improve it.
I'm 33, this will put some men off for a start, not because it's old at all but because some will want women under 30.
I don't think my looks are an issue (I know that probably sounds arrogant to say, it doesn't mean I think I'm perfect!) I mean I'm slim, make an effort with hair, clothes etc. I don't have an overly fake look and I get compliments from people.
I have a dark brown bob, which again might not be everyone's type. I am fairly tall (though the men I am into are at least my height) but some men might prefer a petite lady with blonde hair, which I wouldn't take personally at all.
Some men seem to be initially attracted but later down the line don't feel chemistry. I've been told they really like talking to me, we have a lot in common, they think I'm funny/interesting/intelligent/kind. They've said I have a lot going for me, stuff like that.
I don't expect to get into a relationship after 3 dates, I don't send 20 million texts or want to meet up every single day. That said, I don't have an issue with showing my interest, I'm not good at playing it verrry cool/playing games, but I don't come across as obsessive either (I hope!)
I own a flat, have plenty of hobbies, speak other languages and am financially independent.
Honestly don't think I'm desperate! Someone might say that but I'm not.
I wouldn't date absolutely anyone and I am enjoying a lot about being single. I don't think I give off vibes that I'm desperate for a man, I'd rather wait for someone who's worth it.
I like to joke, I show an interest in the person and try to make them feel at ease. I can be a little shy at first and maybe come across slightly nervous?
I try to show vulnerability and I'm not saying I will discuss mental health with all and sundry but I'm ok with being open about stuff.
I don't know, it might just be bad luck! I was rejected after a 5-hour date and he couldn't give a specific reason (it may have been nothing to do with me)
Or, I've been rejected after a few short-term things. Two of the men told me they considered themselves ugly and didn't know why I was into them (possibly just an excuse). Another said I didn't 'challenge' him.
I'm just looking for general info. I have a complete life, I know chemistry can't necessarily be engineered (or can it?) but any feedback would be great!
To put it simply, in my eyes usually telling someone you don't feel the chemistry means you don't find them attractive enough or there's something about them you don't like?
I may be wrong, but I can't imagine being attracted to someone, we've tons in common and we're compatible, but I just don't feel the chemistry?