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Original poster

To think if he wanted a second date, I'd have heard by now?

227 replies

KookyUmberQuoter · 20/07/2024 13:51

I went on a first date with a guy from an app 5 days ago. Date lasted around 2 hours, it was a walk in the park (literally, not figuratively!) and I made sure I had an easy out.

He looked a bit nervous at the start but then warmed up. It wasn't flirty but I'm someone who needs time to warm up. We had a great chat, made jokes and seemed to have lots in common.

At the end of it we just quickly hugged and said 'take care, bye!' he didn't suggest a second date or say anything about seeing me again.

I've not heard from him since. I'm possibly clutching at straws here but maybe he thought I wasn't interested? I was the one to end the date first and I didn't flirt or say anything about meeting again.
However part of me just thinks, if he'd been interested, I'd have a message by now.

OP posts:
ThatsCute · 20/07/2024 20:05

KookyUmberQuoter · 20/07/2024 19:51

Bet he'll just ghost me tbh

Then at least you’ll know and can move on to the next.

Livelovebehappy · 20/07/2024 20:03

LividLost · 20/07/2024 19:59

Omg why did you do that

I always say you regret things you didn’t do more than things you did do. So I would have absolutely done the same as OP and gone for it. Nothing to lose. If he doesn’t get back, she has her answer and can move on. No harm done, and she probably won’t bump into him again.

LividLost · 20/07/2024 19:59

Omg why did you do that

Original poster
KookyUmberQuoter · 20/07/2024 19:51

Bet he'll just ghost me tbh

OP posts:
ThatsCute · 20/07/2024 19:48

🤞

Dillydollydingdong · 20/07/2024 19:34

Men have this to face all the time. "Shall I ask her out again or will I get a slap in the face?" Usually us women don't have to risk being turned down. Maybe this man's a bit shy?

Worried8263839 · 20/07/2024 19:32

My now DH didn't contact me after our first date and says now that he just didn't think I was interested. I messaged him and 5 years later we are married and have a baby. The worst that can happen is you get a knock back, oh well, on to the next one, go for it!

Original poster
KookyUmberQuoter · 20/07/2024 19:31

I will do 😊
Basically apologised for not getting in touch sooner, saying I'd enjoyed meeting and would be up for catching up again next week if he wanted?
Probs not the best message but oh well!

OP posts:
SlashBeef · 20/07/2024 19:30

I love it 😀 please update us either way! We can celebrate or bitch about him.

SoSoller · 20/07/2024 19:29

What did you say? Grin

Original poster
KookyUmberQuoter · 20/07/2024 19:25

I've sent it! Hahaha omg I'm going to die

OP posts:
DiamondTriangle · 20/07/2024 19:24

KookyUmberQuoter · 20/07/2024 17:25

Still deciding whether to message or not..

Do it . It's eating you up . If you get no reply then you have your answer. Then just block and delete

SouthLondonMum22 · 20/07/2024 19:22

Just message him.

It’s 2024, women are allowed to approach men if they want to. No need to wait around.

mondaytosunday · 20/07/2024 19:21

My husband didn't call me for a week after our date. I was just debating with myself whether I should call him when he finally called.
If he's but in touch in a week then yea forget him.

SamW98 · 20/07/2024 19:02

LightSpeeds · 20/07/2024 15:44

If I've ever been on a first date and am interested in another one, I'd message pretty much after the date "Thanks for [tonight]. I had a good time [or similar]. Let me know if you'd like to meet up again."

There's no direct question so no pressure to say yes or no. It also lets him know I'm interested.

Agree with this but the right time is straight after you get home or the next day at the latest. It’s gone on too long now.

johnson39 · 20/07/2024 18:57

greenwoodentablelegs · 20/07/2024 18:44

Op god you are a ditherer !

right whatever happens with this one, I, some random on the internet decree that now you have to try to set up at least three dates with three different people at any one time.

therefore you will be less available, you will be less invested, you will meet more people and they will know there is competition (they’ll just know, no need to tell them). You’ll also have a barometer for which ones you like and which you don’t.

so now start reaching out to 1) out of your league. 2) Mr quite fancy him 3) omg not my type but what the heck.

do it, do it now

Love this , what a great idea 😊

Mls1984btc · 20/07/2024 18:46

WimbyAce · 20/07/2024 18:37

Same, I pursued my other half. He is so laid back it would never have got off the ground otherwise!

Show quote history

Just out of interest, do you also have to initiates for most part of the relationship?

greenwoodentablelegs · 20/07/2024 18:44

Op god you are a ditherer !

right whatever happens with this one, I, some random on the internet decree that now you have to try to set up at least three dates with three different people at any one time.

therefore you will be less available, you will be less invested, you will meet more people and they will know there is competition (they’ll just know, no need to tell them). You’ll also have a barometer for which ones you like and which you don’t.

so now start reaching out to 1) out of your league. 2) Mr quite fancy him 3) omg not my type but what the heck.

do it, do it now

Tinatheterror · 20/07/2024 18:42

Maybe you should have or can message that you enjoyed the date and was wondering how he is ?

WimbyAce · 20/07/2024 18:37

RivkaTheBold · 20/07/2024 18:29

Message him. I hate all this never chase a man shit. I was the chaser with me and DH and we've been married 20 years.

Same, I pursued my other half. He is so laid back it would never have got off the ground otherwise!

WimbyAce · 20/07/2024 18:36

You are never going to get anywhere with this scared attitude. For God's sake message him!

Catapultaway · 20/07/2024 18:34

PennyPugwash · 20/07/2024 18:01

If he wanted to, he would.

I'd leave it

She wants to, she hasn't.

Just do it OP.

RivkaTheBold · 20/07/2024 18:29

Message him. I hate all this never chase a man shit. I was the chaser with me and DH and we've been married 20 years.

Maddy70 · 20/07/2024 18:27

You've given the vibe you arent interested.

If you are a quick message saying

Fancy lunch at the weekend weekend?

What do you have to lose?

johnson39 · 20/07/2024 18:21

KookyUmberQuoter · 20/07/2024 17:25

Still deciding whether to message or not..

Just do it , what's the worst that can happen ?