Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Driving anxiety should I sell car ?

31 replies

Calsmum2 · 20/07/2024 11:30

Hi please can I have some advice
passed my test first time 10 years ago then got a small hatchback manual a few months in I had a little bump in a car park ( bollard ) and gave the car and driving up due to this and also cost . Less than a year of having car.

I went a few years without driving which was ok as we lived in a city . However a few years ago we moved to rural coastal location and it played on my mind lack of buses etc so saved up a decent amount and last year bought a newish car ( automatic)

The car is a small suv type so bigger than my first little manual however it’s a ok size with camera etc . It’s more I get anxiety when driving like few sick and sweaty , I think it’s more I worry about all the idiots on the road than my own ability.
I also panic about if a tyre goes or breakdown etc , ( I’m in green flag ) I’m unsure why it happens as if I get a lift by someone I don’t worry at all.

I’m trying to plan days out over the summer hols to wildlife parks etc no bus goes direct to them so driving is only option unless bus then walk down dangerous country roads etc . Just feeling like should I sell the car and use the money for taxis etc or should I try and do this driving for my kids to get out and about ?

feel abit of a let down parent right now and unsure what to do

OP posts:
PistachioFrapp · 20/07/2024 11:52

I really sympathise, I've always had driving anxiety and now aged 51 I still have it. It comes and goes.

Looking back to when my kids were little I'm so sad that we missed out on so much because I wasn't always able to just jump in the car and take them out.

My advice is to always allow lots of time so you never feel rushed and panicked, plan routes in advance and take your time.

If you don't feel confident to do a particular trip then that's ok, it doesn't mean you can't go somewhere different tomorrow or next week, it doesn't have to be all or nothing.

BrightLightTonight · 20/07/2024 11:46

Book some lessons with a good instructor in your own car. You just need practice

5128gap · 20/07/2024 11:44

I'm the same OP. Only my anxiety is about my own competence. I can't get over the intrusive thoughts that I will make an error and hurt someone. Luckily for me, it isn't an issue as I can walk and use public transport which is healthier and greener anyway. If I wasn't able to, I'm not sure what I'd do if I'm honest. All I can say to you is make the choice that's right for you without feeling shamed or bullied by the you MUST drive!!! brigade (you'll get loads on this thread!) Not driving isn't the end of the world. Its inconvenient at times, but there's always a work around, so it's your choice.

Plumpribbon · 20/07/2024 11:43

Stick with it. Maybe a different car will work for you. A small SUV is still a lot bigger than a hatch back. Go back to a smaller car

User100000000000000000001 · 20/07/2024 11:41

I went through an extreme period of driving anxiety a few years ago caused by a random panic attack on the motorway.
Knowing how panic/anxiety works, I immediately sort CBT. Basically the therapy was to do as much of the driving that freaked me out as possible. The more you do something, the less anxious you get. I am more or less back to where I was.

Can you do something similar? Take yourself out in the car as much as possible. It's the only real way you will get more comfortable with driving. And the independence is so worth it.

SallyWD · 20/07/2024 11:37

I completely understand as I also have driving anxiety but I'd try and stick with it.
How much driving are you doing at the moment? What helped me was just driving as much as I could and learning particular routes well so they no longer seemed scary. I still don't like driving but I'm glad I can do it. I live in a city but it's still so useful to be able to pick the children up from their friends houses, take them to activities, drive to a shop, go out somewhere nice for the day. I think you'd feel extremely isolated if you couldn't drive in a rural location. Also it's not good to be completely dependent on another person to drive you around.