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Original poster

DH is eating cereal and I want to kill him

159 replies

annonymousse · 20/07/2024 10:51

Obviously this is lighthearted but jeez the crunching and slurping is unreal.

OP posts:
Timeforanotheraliasnow · 21/07/2024 21:36

I’m with you on this. My DH slurps and chomps and when he drinks he takes a mouthful and swishes it round in his mouth like mouthwash. Worst of all though, when he eats he lowers his face halfway to the plate instead of lifting the fork up. I have to look away. I need more wine.

catscatscurrantscurrants · 21/07/2024 21:28

I no longer have a H to be annoyed by. But I was listening to a podcast the other day, when the male host slurped his coffee and smacked his lips before speaking. God I had to turn it off, it made me so disgusted and furious!

KohlaParasaurus · 21/07/2024 21:07

I don't even notice these things, which probably means I'm a perpetrator. I'll happily keep you company without flinching while you chew your soup, crunch your mashed potatoes, deconstruct your Mars Bar and lick the orange stuff off your smelly crisps before nibbling them like a hamster,

Ginlovingmumof4 · 21/07/2024 20:57

I had to check that I hadn’t started this thread myself! Wait. Is this me? 🤣

Rosejasmine · 21/07/2024 20:37

Devilsmommy · 20/07/2024 11:01

I can't stand when they hit the sides of the bowl with the spoon eleventy million times. Clang, clang, clangety clang. Rage inducing🤬

My DH slaps the spoon against his teeth too. I have to leave the room.

GingerPirate · 21/07/2024 19:39

I know it's light-hearted, but also a bit sad.
I've been married for 20 years and don't notice this or similar about husband. He must have tons of bad habits of this sort!
But how well preserved I feel at 45 yo for cutting this stuff out! 😁 (No kids here).
Mind you, sometimes I call him "A burial place of beefsteaks", for his love of this food.

ReacherSaidNothing · 21/07/2024 19:16

My DH is a noisy eater but there's other things going on that make me suspect he has an airway issue of some description. Still drives me mad!

MageraofCthulik · 21/07/2024 19:03

My husband has MS and cannot now feed himself cereal, I do it instead.

Just be happy you don't have to do that.

Mumoftwochildrenand6furkids · 21/07/2024 18:39

I feel your pain if my hubby dares to try talk to me when he's got an mouthful of food again, I'm digging up the patio and he is going in it.

RaspberryCloud · 21/07/2024 18:35

LizzieBennett73 · 20/07/2024 11:11

Loop earplugs, OP. They have saved DH's life and my sanity.

It's the only way I can be in the room when he's eating/slurping and belching (hiatus hernia that he doesn't take the right dose of meds for).

Which Loop ear plugs do you have? I need this....😅

RaspberryCloud · 21/07/2024 18:35

LizzieBennett73 · 20/07/2024 11:11

Loop earplugs, OP. They have saved DH's life and my sanity.

It's the only way I can be in the room when he's eating/slurping and belching (hiatus hernia that he doesn't take the right dose of meds for).

Wg

Ruelzdontapply · 21/07/2024 18:35

I can only be in the same room has anyone that's eating if I'm also eating.

AGodawfulsmallaffair · 21/07/2024 18:30

whatsappdoc · 20/07/2024 11:04

Mine has a clicking jaw as well. I either leave the room or sit with my fingers in my ears.

Jesus I’d have to stab him.

Lavenderblue11 · 21/07/2024 18:28

I totally get you OP. My hubby fills his cereal bowl to the brim with milk and between eating it, spends his time clanking his spoon on the sides of the dish, trying to 'drown' each and every piece of cereal in the milk. Drives me nuts, I can hear him from every room in the mornings 😡

angela1952 · 21/07/2024 18:26

mickandrorty · 20/07/2024 14:33

The other day mine was using a toothpick standing right behind me it was so loud in my ear it took everything i had not to whip it out of his hand and stab him in the forehead with it!

I can't bear to watch DC do this, let alone listen.

angela1952 · 21/07/2024 18:25

JhellSinki · 20/07/2024 18:34

Mine brushes his teeth with a huge amount of toothpaste, then follows me around talking through the tooth brushing. It’s beyond awful

I would actually vomit if DC did that.

angela1952 · 21/07/2024 18:22

I have two DGC who come for breakfast during the week and I can't bear the noise either. We have the radio on all the time and I give them chocohoops which get quieter as they get soggy. Then we have the slurping of the the milk from the bowl. I've taken to tipping it into their glass once the cereal has gone.

Duckswaddle · 21/07/2024 18:03

My husband chews yoghurt and ice cream. How is that possible? The fucking noise.
I can’t be near him if he’s eating crisps or anything like that either - it’s not just the crunching, he does this really annoying sloppy chewy eating noise at the same time and it makes me want to cry.

AllyArty · 21/07/2024 17:53

daily crisp and tortilla chip chomping and shovelling huge amounts of food into his mouth are two of the joys I live with. I keep the tv louder than necessary to drown out some of the noise!

daisychain01 · 21/07/2024 17:51

Misophonia.

I've had it since birth but never realised until adulthood that wanting to stab or strangle someone who slurps, crunches, sniffs or breathes noisily was down to the condition. Thankfully my DH is marginally better these days, having come from a boarding school background, where his eating style is a cross between a garden shredder and a cement mixer.

i feel your pain, @annonymousse cereal and milk is just the worst combo, slurping and crunching Grin

EatAllDay · 21/07/2024 17:42

Oh God I hear ya. Mine scrunches his weetabix with his hand before he pours the milk on. He has one, in a tiny bowl. Then does that up to 4 times a day.

he does this ‘clear his throat plus one cough’ very very regularly.

I could do time for this someday

Original poster
annonymousse · 21/07/2024 14:07

I'm loving everyone's stories. It's nice to know I'm not alone.

OP posts:
JockTamsonsBairns · 21/07/2024 01:03

You want to try sitting next to my MiL when she's enjoying a bowl of Bombay Mix 😡

DamnYerEyes · 21/07/2024 00:56

mickandrorty · 20/07/2024 14:33

The other day mine was using a toothpick standing right behind me it was so loud in my ear it took everything i had not to whip it out of his hand and stab him in the forehead with it!

I hear you

Lolatusernamesuggestions · 20/07/2024 21:43

Useruserdoubleuser · 20/07/2024 19:44

I sit next to a (lovely) woman at work who loves crisps but is on a diet so makes them last.
Starts with lips parting like a codfish over closed teeth. Single crisp inserted into tiny teeth gap and nibbled millimetre by millimetre using only the front four teeth.
Some smushing and smacking and sucking then repeat.
Stenchy crisps too. Like Beef n Onion.

Well-done for not murdering her.
I've got a slurper. He drinks the milk from the bowl at the end and makes a noise doing it and some of it dribbles. Reminds me of the dog licking up the last remnants of the bowl.

I'm a clanger though so I know I'm not perfect. It's that bad my dad asked if I was in Australia yet and MIL yelled "who is doing that??" I don't even know how to stop, I'm enjoying myself so much I get a bit lost. So I haven't stabbed DH yet because I know I'm just as bad.

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