… for not saying “sorry” to husband

He shouldn't talk to you like that ever, but especially nor in front of your children.

He can't criticise your parenting for giving in to read a story (the horror), when his parenting choice is to give them that role model! In that moment he was a poor husband and a poor father. Only you know if that's usual.

Unless you've bollocked him previously for going to read one more story because 'it'll reward her for having a tantrum/undermines everything I'm trying to do', he's being a dick.

YANBU OP

I would apologise for having children with him and say I will never make that huge error again.

In future when DD wants “one more” after a second story say - you’ve just had one more. It may result in a tantrum but stick to your guns and she will learn that 1 more really is one more. Toddlers need to push boundaries and also learn where the boundaries are firm.

He sounds like a mentalist. I don't like the idea of grown ass people demanding apologies from each other as a rule anyway.

What the fuck is wrong with him??? He's going to have some really interesting conversations ahead, when nursery and school teachers have to deal with your child's use of 'fuck' in class.

Other parents may not want their dcs to be friends with 'that' child.

That aside, he needs to work with you not against you and parenting has to be cooperative.

Well… you do your bedtimes yourself when he’s not there, so he can do them himself when he is home.

let him do him, and you do you.

as for the story book thing tell dc
to choose - say - 2 books and those are the books. Tell them that is the choice for the evening,

In your head/planning allow for 1 more as a bonus, and if they’ve been good and you have the time, use it as a reward.

you will never regret the books you read your child, you will miss that time with them for far far longer than you’ll be doing it. Yes of course there need to be boundaries but there are some things you can flex a bit on, focus on behaviour and respect

your h should be apologising to you for the swearing at you AND in front of the kids. That’s a total wrong.

id point out to him that he didn’t set a boundary (as he never does) so there is nothing for you to apologise for. However in future, perhaps he can do bed times when he’s home and you do them when he is not.

give him a bit of load. He has to learn to parent his kids and set boundaries and not have anyone to offload this to.

My dd’s dad gives in at extra bedtime stories to the point that lights out happens an hour or more later. And while I have discussed with him the importance of a consistent bedtime routine, I have never expected an apology or said what the fuck is wrong with you.

Yanbu and your dp’s behaviour is not ok.

Yanbu

Unfortunately you've had children with an absolute dickhead.

I need to get off this site because I'm starting to hate men.

Oh come on! You read your DC and extra story. I don't even understand why you're annoyed with yourself etc. You read a bloody story! It honestly will make no difference. Honestly when they have grown up you won't think 'I should have been more strict and read less stories!' You will be glad you read the extra stories. There is no need whatsoever to be so strict. It's just not necessary. So no, you don't owe him or anyone else an apology. You did nothing wrong!

He sounds aggressive and nasty. If your kids are talking to you in this way in a few years' time, there will be no prizes for guessing where they picked it up.

On the bedtime issue, yes parents might discuss together the need for consistency and how it would make life easier. But hectoring the other parent over minor things is abusive behaviour imo.

Jeez, the amount of entitled ‘king of the castle’ husbands I hear about on MN boggles the mind!

No, don't apologise, he lost the moral high ground when he used that language.

Totally understand OP; why on Earth does he want an apology 🙄 he should be apologising to you for his language...
And I wouldn't give in to tantrums from the kids (or him)

What will happen when your 3 year old says 'what the fuck is wrong with you'?
Will he care?

Your opinion, I disagree. The only one talking bollocks is you, can't you give a opinion without resulting to insults, if you have kids you are not a good example.
Don't agree with me, start swearing at me.

This. Who hasn't read their child an extra story! He's a twat.

No which is why I said neither of the voting options are suitable for me to vote on.

Try to agree a routine that you both want to adhere to and stick to it. It is easier all all round especially for the child.

He sounds like a total dickhead. It was a book ffs. DC are only little for a short time plus sounds like it saved a longer time putting to bed if the tantrum had got bigger. No way do you owe him an apology.

Yep I agree with your husband, you were in the wrong and you do need to apologise

For marrying the fucker in the first place, I hope he ain't holding his breath for that apology

What bollocks, one story's not going to fragment the family unit, the man was an over bearing arse.