AIBU to be so angry?!

Exactly.
Looks like we have some more superparents, just like on that other thread about dads not supporting their kids. These woods are full of superparents.

I didn’t say parenting isn’t hard work, I said it is hard and frustrating. And no I don’t always repeat what people have said but I think you are being deliberately obtuse. Clearly we won’t agree.

DH is a lazy parent. I did 98% of the work load raising them. Now they're adults, it's me they ring, me that they want to spend time with, and me that they turn to every time there is a crisis. They barely bother communicating with him other than "disney family" style because they know which parent is the one that's always been there for them. And he still doesn't get why....

You may be exhausted, OP and you've every right to but don't think your DD won't ever know which parent she can rely on

Bully for you. Other people should feel the same way as you because...?

"Triggering." Good grief. What a hackneyed, stupid term. It actually only applies to people who have experienced trauma.

@MissingKitty Nowhere did OP say she feels punished by having to spend so much time with her daughter, you’ve made that up. She just said that her daughter is hard work (completely normal, most kids are hard work unless you’re neglecting them) and she’s enjoyed the rest. Again, it’s perfectly reasonable to enjoy a rest from hard work and responsibility. She’s also angry that this happens so rarely, when her ex who should be shouldering the responsibility EQUALLY isn’t. Once more, completely understandable.

Bullshit. Parenting is hard work and inequality of responsibility is frustrating. That is not saying she feels the child is a burden herself and does not want the child. That's a massive reach and intellectually dishonest.

Do you always just repeat whatever somebody has said to you instead of making your own points?

no martyrdom, I just enjoyed being a mother. Some people do find that very simple statement somewhat triggering, but that isn't my problem

I think you deliberately choosing to ignore what OP has literally rather than offer an opinion based on her words and feelings, which she has chosen to put here shows that you have a personal agenda yourself. She finds her child hard work and feels punished by having to spend so much time with her while her ex doesn’t. This is what she said. And she also ASKED for opinions on her anger. Which is why people have given them.

I can see why you feel resentful OP. I’m not sure why you’re getting a hard time.

If you posted about a man not pulling his weight in a marriage you’d be getting support. Why’s this different?

"I know you are but what am I." Really?🙄 Grow up.
I'm not the one tut-tutting about other people's feelings.

She has said the inequality in

responsibility angers her. You are not being truthful, which means you have a personal agenda.

I'm a single parent, I work between 40 and 75(🤢) hours a week. Exdp works similar hours, both shift work. We either have ds or are in work, occasionally both so we have to call on family and friends to do school drop off and pick ups, then we feed ds and see him to bed. Get him ready for school the next morning and head out to a 12.5 hour shift in the NHS etc.

It IS exhausting. Utterly so.

But ds is not a chore, or a burden. The relentless hours I need to work to be able to keep a roof over our heads and food in our bellies is. The endless sysphian housework is. The constant mental load of managing a household alone is.

But ds is the thing that makes it bearable,

Sorry op. I think you resent your exs free time and the discrepancy between the amount of it he has and the amount you have. But yabu to be angry that you get see your child more than he does. Time with your daughter is a privilege. Even when they are being difficult (that is typically when they need you most)

You clearly only see what you want to see. I see a woman who is refreshed after having a break, because that happens to be exactly what she said.

Climb down off the cross.
It's not even healthy to never desire time for yourself. It's some kind of martyrdom obsession.

And come the end of the summer holidays when parents are being honest that they cant wait for the kids to go back to school, everyone will acknowledge it, smile at it, agree with it and not paint someone as 'preferring their home without their child in it'

I think the issue isn't that op wants time off from parenting. But that her anger is only harming herself and her child. The ex couldn't give a shit if she is angry or exhausted or ill, he's proven himself to be a selfish bastard.

Nope you’ve misrepresented the OP there in order to be morally superior. She’s angry at the unfairness and sees having her child so much as a punishment. Of course no parent is unreasonable for enjoying a break, but that’s not what OP has said.

She said this

In the last week, my DD has been on holiday with my ex & it has been so chilled & peaceful at home, I feel like a new woman!

To me, that reads like she is saying her home is better without her child in it.

You have a night and a weekend off every fortnight? It’s not exactly nothing, you’re still getting substantially more child free time than many parents in couples.

By all means discuss him upping his time, but if you’re DD is settle with you, doesn’t hugely enjoy her time with him as he’s shouty then you’re doing it for your benefit only, not hers.

what bottom? I'm not racing to any bottom. I love my life

Of course we would all like a break. Some women just love to police other women's parenting, to the extent that they will pretend children are never tiring. So gross.

You have misrepresented what OP said in order to have an excuse to play morally superior. She only said she enjoyed the break.

Me too. I imagine most commenters aren’t single parents.

All parents need a break. Why is it that when a married poster posts about having a useless husband who’s always out, when she gets zero “me” time everyone sympathises, but god forbid a single mum feels like she needs some time to herself!

Agree. Harsh and stupid. The supermun types who are eager to play superior over somebody who is stressed by an unequal burden of parental responsibility are so irritating.