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AIBU?

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Original poster

DD current medical investigations and GP response

57 replies

Sparklybutold · 19/07/2024 18:25

Our beautiful DD has started investigations for either a genetic disease or a tumour. She is a toddler and will have to undergo lots of invasive testing over the coming days. Today I let her grandparents know. They asked which hospital, which I let them know, they then replied that it wasn't far and that they were now going to go visit a national trust. Cue a few hours later and DD grandma sent a photo of her trip.

I have posted in the past about the in laws lack of emotional intelligence but this has been particularly difficult today.

Should I say something or let it go?

OP posts:
TheShiningCarpet · 19/07/2024 18:43

What did you want from them?

Original poster
Sparklybutold · 19/07/2024 18:40

JC03745 · 19/07/2024 18:37

I'm so sorry you are going through this. I obviously don't know the background of your relationship or their thoughts, but from another perspective:

  • Can multiple family members be visiting a paediatric ward at once? Maybe they felt they would be in the way?
  • Would you want them there when she is having invasive procedures?
  • Maybe they are waiting for a diagnosis and don't realise how much stress/implications this testing might result in?
  • Do either have issues with being in a hospital. Past trauma or a death at that hospital?

All worthwhile considerations. I guess what I'm expecting is just a little thought? I'm really struggling at the moment and actually having practical support would mean a lot right now. Mum in law stayed a couple of weeks ago but she just became another person to care for.

OP posts:
Original poster
Sparklybutold · 19/07/2024 18:38

oakleaffy · 19/07/2024 18:31

How absolutely worrying for you and your husband.
Really hope it turns out to be nothing serious.

Maybe the grandparents are a bit ''Head in sand'' or frightened of hospitals/illness?

I'd be shocked that they didn't ask about her- Maybe they do lack emotional intelligence.

Do they seem to care in other ways?

I know they care. The grandma sent a lovely text before asking me to tell our DD how much they loved her but then to get such a emotionally tone deaf reposnse was really hurtful.

OP posts:
JC03745 · 19/07/2024 18:37

I'm so sorry you are going through this. I obviously don't know the background of your relationship or their thoughts, but from another perspective:

  • Can multiple family members be visiting a paediatric ward at once? Maybe they felt they would be in the way?
  • Would you want them there when she is having invasive procedures?
  • Maybe they are waiting for a diagnosis and don't realise how much stress/implications this testing might result in?
  • Do either have issues with being in a hospital. Past trauma or a death at that hospital?
oakleaffy · 19/07/2024 18:31

How absolutely worrying for you and your husband.
Really hope it turns out to be nothing serious.

Maybe the grandparents are a bit ''Head in sand'' or frightened of hospitals/illness?

I'd be shocked that they didn't ask about her- Maybe they do lack emotional intelligence.

Do they seem to care in other ways?

Ginlfixit · 19/07/2024 18:30

The problem with people who lack emotional intelligence is that anything you do say is wasted on them.

Aquamarine1029 · 19/07/2024 18:29

I would not be able to NOT say exactly what's on my mind, basically that I couldn't give a single fuck about their little field trip. I'd be done with them.