Insomniacs and ex-insomniacs - where are you?!

From a recovered insomniac (and mostly pinched from a sleep psychiatrist, I think he was - it was from an academic lecture):

Have a consistent wake up time (not necessarily bedtime) every day. Every day. No lie ins. No difference on weekends. This sets your circadian rhythm.

The bedroom is for two things only - sleep and sex. Don't get dressed in your bedroom. Don't make phone calls. Don't work. Sleep or sex. That's it.

Go to bed a maximum of half an hour before you usually fall asleep. Eliminate the lying awake period. Insomniacs (understandably) HATE this advice, but it's the best advice. Once you're falling asleep better you can move bedtime earlier gradually.

Good luck. I know your pain. It can get better!

Hi OP, I feel for you.

I wore one of those watches that analyses your sleep for about a year (the watch was a cheapo and maybe not even accurate) but it told me that I'd slept, e.g. 7 hours when I thought I'd slept about 4. Often my lying with eyes closed (twisting and turning) was counted as sleep. Honestly, knowing that made me feel a lot better. I decided I was going to tell myself that I had slept well as long as I had been in bed for enough hours. To avoid boredom, and to avoid mulling over life, I listen to audiobooks.

I'd had terrible trouble sleeping ever since I was a teen (now in my 50s). But I'm more or less cured now (except, I've discovered, when there's a full moon!). I try not to have too many "rules" or "hacks" because it only puts too much pressure on and ends up having the opposite effect. If possible,

• no social media/screen before bed
• try to go to bed at roughly the same time
• get up at same time every day (this is the crucial thing, I think, although I don't always manage it)
• audiobooks to fall asleep or to pass the time if I'm having trouble
• mindset (I tell myself sleep is nice but resting is enough)

Like another poster, I listen to an audiobook I've read many times before, wearing a sleep headband, which is more comfortable than earbuds. I set a 15-min timer on Audible, and reset if necessary, sometimes several times but I usually fall asleep within the first 15 minutes - it astonishes me that I can even write that! If that doesn't work (if I've already had to reset several times), I change audiobooks and listen to something more captivating that I have to concentrate on (lying down, eyes closed, following a good story is far better than lying mulling over things in your life). Sometimes I end up listening for an hour or two (usually, as I said, around full moon) but eventually fall asleep. It's not ideal but it doesn't happen very often any more.

These days, and I don't want to flout it or anything, but I sometimes (shock, horror) even wake up before my alarm feeling refreshed!!!💪For me, mindset is really the only thing that's changed.

Good luck! Here are some Zs for you: zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
😴

Phenergan worked for me but mine was short term. Insomnia was an absolute killer for me.

I take magnesium and melatonin but it's hit and miss if they work. I felt like I slept better when I did intermittent fasting (16:8 roughly), I've stopped it for other reasons and couldn't tell you whether it was the fasting, the time I stopped eating or both but there was a definite improvement.

Insomniac since teenager.
Kirkland sleep aid is the only thing that helps me sleep deeper and longer, I get about 6 - 7 hours with little waking up.
I have also been taking Trazodone for the last 6 months, which is a sedating antidepressant. I'm not sure it really does anything for my sleep but doesn't stop me sleeping. Other types effect me badly, I got almost no sleep on SSRIs.
Also earplugs, blackout blind and listen to a podcast when going to sleep. That helps, I usually drop off and wake up when it ends. Put my ear plugs in and go back to sleep quickly.
On balance, I have decided the risks from taking Kirkland sleep aid every night, is better than the depression I get when sleeping 3- 4 hours a night. I don't usually feel too tired, but its mentally awful.

Melatonin patches you can buy off amazon and get next day delivery, or depending on where you stand on cannabis products....you could use a private prescriber, I get CBD oil. 0.3ml a night, Knocks me out within half hour, sleep straight through, and i don't feel groggy in the mornings either. Its Fixed my insomnia and sleep issues due to a chronic pain condition

No caffeine after midday + magnesium glycinate! Makes a HUGE difference.

oh and not eating too late

That's awful! Have you tried the latest hypnotic? Not sure if it's in the UK or by what name it is sold as there. Here it's called Davigo. I am extremely resistant to other sleeping medications, but it put me out. Personally, I hate the way hypnotics feel, so I stopped taking it.

I'm a lifelong insomniac.
Recently I have found that a combination of valerian, melatonin, theanine, magnesium bisglycinate, muscle relaxants and antihistamines helps. It's not a guarantee, but so far it's worked more often than not. You may need to experiment to find the right combination.
There is no shame in taking pills. You have a health problem and it's okay to treat it. Amitriptyline isn't addictive, so there's no worry there.
Gabapentin is a drug prescribed for nerve pain which also helps people sleep. It is not addictive, and unlike the amitriptyline, you probably won't gain weight.
GABA and glycine help my daughter, who is also an insomniac.

I had some quetiapine left from a few years ago when i was desperate for sleep and the doc prescribed them.
I would take half a tablet at 1am. I could always fall asleep but would wake after 4-5 hours which wasn't enough. By setting my alarm and taking it at 1am I'd get another 3-4 hours and feel great.
Mirtazapine is another medication you can take but you need only to take a quarter tablet. It is an antidepressant, however the effect of making you sleep is only with very small amounts. Unfortunately it also makes you very hungry.
Quiviviq worked a bit for me but I would sometimes wake early and it wasn't strong enough to send me back to sleep. But worth a try.
At the moment I take an anti anxiety medication and that is helping a bit and should have no negative side effects.

I've been an insomniac since I was 18 and I'm now 66. It has fucked my brain. I've tried everything known to man and some things work for a while and then stop (amitriptyline, for example).

I'm sorry I can't offer anything but sympathy. It's hell.

Hmmmmm, it sounds really tough OP. How about trying to learn something new and totally different - a language in a foreign alphabet such as Greek or Mandarin, ancient philosophy, musical theory and harmony, a difficult novel by James Joyce or Proust? . These will all put me to sleep and they are special interests! Just suggesting!

Ooooft sorry to read this. I try to stay away from even thinking I have insomnia as I've managed it well since I reached my 30s. In fact, I told myself that once I reached 30 I would stop having insomnia. (Mine began as a kid, being terrified of the night and as a teen becoming deeply interested in examining the process of falling asleep.)

I tell myself that I now just don't sleep well sometimes, I still have nights of no sleep but I can predict them. Travel, having to get up any earlier than usual, hormonal fluctuations affect me too, but instead of it being one bad night begets several bad nights, is usually just one or two bad nights. Just so much better. Long story short, I guess this could be considered a form of CBT that helped which I did learn about in my 20s so maybe was influenced by it. But I absolutely hated people giving me their (unsolicited) solutions.

Another thing that (sometimes) helps me is concentrating on visual thinking instead of verbal. And on nights that I can't sleep at all I listen to a tv series (the same tv series on repeat for about 15 years) which is simultaneously boring yet distracting. Sometimes it all just makes me feel sick so I'd be better getting up instead. But then I'm so desperate to sleep I feel I'm ruining any tiny chance. The last time (a few months ago) I discussed insomnia in detail out loud I couldn't sleep for a week. I'll try cleanse my brain!

Audiobooks made a massive difference to me (insomniac since my teens.) something gentle without sudden loud voices that you already know well.
Also calm app / deep sleep release meditation and pukka nighttime tea.
But really it’s about relaxing which is very hard to do when you’re worried about not sleeping!
I’ve had problems on and off for over 25 years but much better the last 10. When I have a bad patch and start panicking I remind myself that I always come out of the bad patch eventually!

I also take magnesium glycerate, 10mg melatonin and 2 Utrogestans but I've now dropped the melatonin and it's made no difference. In fact sleeping slightly better and not feeling so groggy in morning.

I’m current under a neurologist for an unrelated condition. I mentioned my dependence on phenergan for insomnia (nightly for well over 6 years). He said that he would prefer for me to take phenergan every night than to get a decent nights sleep, rather than not sleep. I’ve tried so many times to come off of the phenergan. I can’t. I just don’t sleep more than 3-4 hours a night without it 😢

I didn’t have any problem sleeping for 8 hours plus until the day I turned 50 . I’m 67 now and haven’t had a single night since then where I’ve slept for more than 2 hours at a time. However tired I am. Sometimes I fall asleep straightway about 11, but then I. Awake at 1. Or I don’t fall asleep til 2 or 3 am and then wake at about 5 am.
Ive tried absolutely everything suggested on this thread, including melatonin, the no caffeine., the meditation, the books, the pills, the no screens after 6 or 7 etc.
Absolutely nothing has “ cured” me.
I can only be grateful though that I didn’t have insomnia when I had a young family and was at work.
lets hope we find a magic cure.
ps I know it’s after 7 and I’m on a screen but this is unusual for me.

There's the blackout curtains, the cooler temperature, the No Lights at All Upstairs rule because the slightest hint causes me to spring awake from a position of near collapse from exhaustion, the no caffeine was tried, but I get sleepy after coffee, so that made exactly zero difference, the having the same routine every night, the getting up at the same time even though you feel like you're dying inside every single day, the making sure that my eyes don't close for a second when absolutely knackered because that microsleep will cause a minimum of 2 days without sleeping at all. There was the totally ineffectual antihistamines, the benzos that did nothing on day 1, 2 or 3 and then I got pissed off and refused to take them any longer than that. I also tried the working weird hours as an afternoon sleep is so refreshing - until I got stressed at having to go up there and lie down and stopped being able to sleep then, too. And the 'I'll go to bed when I'm tired'/no routine routine that means I'm still up when it's time to leave for work.

It's been like it since I was a baby. It ain't gonna change. After about 6-9 months, I'll sleep for longer (used to be a whole Saturday until 5pm, now it's a whole hour or two until 7.100am) and then I won't sleep at all the next night, maybe get 3 hours the following 5 days and hopefully within a fortnight I'll be back to 4 hours again.

I live for the days where I don't actually have to do anything important, as that's the nearest thing to a rest.

Ex chronic insomnia sufferer here. I suffered for many years, and I no longer do. I had tried everything, including sleeping tablets which became less and less effective over time.

My best advice to you is to stop every single preparatory routine. Stop trying to tire yourself out, don't take any sleep aid supplements, watch as much TV as you want in bed, don't bother with essential oils, fuck hypnosis, basically ignore every single piece of sleep hygiene advice you've ever received. Stop giving a shit whether you sleep or not. Actively make staying awake all night your goal. The less focus you put on it, the easier it will come. The more attention you give it, the more powerful it gets, as with any anxiety.
The only things I would recommend avoiding are 1. Looking at the time at any point during the night if you're feeling anxious and 2. Caffeine, that is obviously best to avoid for anyone at all before bed!

I strongly, strongly recommend having a look on the Insomnia Coach website and signing up for the free emails the bloke offers (much more detailed than the advice I've just given). He's an ex insomniac too and is very highly recommended among us. He does also offer a paid personalised service but I was too skint to go down that route.

Another long term insomniac (milder end of the scale) here - I've never had much luck with over the counter insomnia meds and admittedly haven't gone as far as getting prescriptions. One thing I have found works to disrupt the racing thoughts is to breathe in for four counts, hold for seven counts and breathe out for eight counts. The weird timings mean you keep thinking about it rather than just drifting back into the racing thoughts and I find it knocks me out before I know it. Worth a try at least!

I can get to sleep ok, but wake up millions of time, always up for the day before 5am. It’s exhausting

I've used melatonin and it did work for me to help me stay asleep. But, the biggest thing that "fixed" my insomnia was weirdly going to sleep at 8.30pm. I sleep 8.30pm until around 4am now and I hadn't had a solid night's sleep in 3 years beforehand. It seems I was just trying to force my body to sleep at the wrong times? If I try 9.30pm now, I wake up every hour. Has to be between 8.30-9. Weird but it works!

I take mirtazapine which is an anti depressant which just happens to help with insomnia.

400mg of active magnesium bisglycinate (4 x massive pills), 10mg melatonin and also Utrogestan (with food), before bed (apart from 200mg of the mag earlier in the day)

Do you know what.. my grandma had insomnia all her life due to trauma. She took a sleeping pill every night for her entire adult life till she died at 95. Of course she was addicted but she managed to enjoy her life.