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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think she doesn't *really* have coeliac disease?

160 replies

CookiePookie · 19/07/2024 17:00

Coeliac disease - I understand from other friends who have been diagnosed with this that it's tricky but OK to deal with being gluten-free forever. My MIL has been diagnosed with this a year or so ago. Out of the blue she just announced she cannot have gluten any longer, and has Coeliac disease.
Just a bit of history - my opinion is that she seeks attention in all situations. My husband and my wedding - she demanded my private list of 'to-do' items including such things as 'wax bikini line', and when I did not give it to her she threatened not to come to the wedding until I apologised. Now, she may have CD and we always get in lots of gluten-free foods when they visit. She always asks in restaurants for the GF options. (and bemoans how poor they are). But most times we see her she will eat something containing gluten, like a regular biscuit or a bit of batter off fish and chips my FIL is eating. Can you just have a minor allergy to gluten? But she does insist it's Coeliac disease.

OP posts:
ThisGreyPanda · 19/07/2024 20:18

alpinia · 19/07/2024 19:41

I think maybe joint pain might describe it better? But she would sit for hours with a hot water bottle on her neck.

Thanks for getting back to me. Recently cut out bread and I've noticed decrease in joint pain (neck in particular). Everything else in my diet is GF due to household being coeliac so im effectively gluten free now and feel so much better- it's just got me thinking!

ThisGreyPanda · 19/07/2024 20:15

MyOtherWheelchairIsABroomstick · 19/07/2024 19:37

Not OP, but I too get these symptom - sore throat after eating the "wrong" foods and my whole gullet (?)/esophagus (?) burns for days like the bread or pastry has scratched every bit of surface on the way down. I think it's intolerance rather than allergy for me, but I like nice food and I have cancer anyway so I put up with the pain.

Thank you for your reply, that's useful to know. Sorry to hear you aren't well at the moment also. Sounds like you have enough to contend with. X

Crackwillow · 19/07/2024 20:10

Coeliac here, I cannot tolerate GF oats at all. There are many symptoms other than gut issues, I had terrible headaches, bone and joint pain, numb patches on my body - and gluten ataxia - which made me feel like I was going to fall over, hair thinning. Plus all the usual gut issues.

YouBelongWithMe · 19/07/2024 19:45

MrTiddlesTheCat · 19/07/2024 17:09

Has she had it diagnosed through a biopsy? If not, she's bullshitting.

Technically you can be diagnosed without a biopsy. I had bloods done and was told that anything above 50 was so strong it would negate the need for other invasive tests. My two blood tests came back 95 and 97, and I was diagnosed as coeliac without a biopsy.

EwwSprouts · 19/07/2024 19:44

If someone is coeliac then this will have been explained to them. Stupid to think only a short term reaction will follow. That's why medically diagnosed coeliacs tend to stick to a strict GF diet.

When the body's immune system overreacts to gluten in food, the reaction damages the tiny, hairlike projections, called villi, that line the small intestine. Villi absorb vitamins, minerals and other nutrients from the food you eat. If your villi are damaged, you can't get enough nutrients, no matter how much you eat.
https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/celiac-disease/symptoms-causes/syc-20352220#:~:text=Your%20small%20intestine%20is%20lined,necessary%20for%20health%20and%20growth.

handmademitlove · 19/07/2024 19:42

Coeliac Disease is largely genetic. When my DD was diagnosed we all had to get tested - my DH was then also diagnosed. You could ask her to confirm as your GP will want to run tests if that is the case....

alpinia · 19/07/2024 19:41

ThisGreyPanda · 19/07/2024 19:32

Neck pain? Is that a recognised symptom? Would be really interested to know more about this if you could come back to me. Could answer a few worries!

I think maybe joint pain might describe it better? But she would sit for hours with a hot water bottle on her neck.

Tryonemoretime · 19/07/2024 19:39

DoneAndNotDusted · 19/07/2024 17:52

@MrsBuntyS Curious about your father - I know some people with coeliac disease can eat oats; others, like you, cannot. Does he have to eat gluten free oats; I know oats are naturally gluten free, but can easily be cross contaminated with other grains? So coeliacs generally have to eat oats which state gluten free on the packet.

  • Coeliac disease is commonly diagnosed by a blood test followed by an endoscopy.
  • Most people with coeliac disease can eat gluten free oats but some can't eat them as oats contain a substance similar to gluten.
  • Many standard oats are produced in the same place as wheat, barley and rye, which makes them unsafe because they can be contaminated.
  • A very small number of people are still sensitive to gluten free oats.
I'm coeliac and a tiny crumb of normal bread makes me really ill for days. I was once given a normal bread roll in a hotel, queried it three times as it didn't look like or taste like a GF roll and then, being assured it was GF, ate it. I was in bed for 4 days and straight to the doctors when we got home. I also can't eat gluten free oats (you can find certified GF oats in the Free From section of supermarkets) but occasionally, as my diet is restricted in other ways too, I fall off the wagon and buy GF biscuits which contain oats. This is NOT a good idea unless I'm near a loo for a few hours afterwards, but I'm never as ill as if I eat wheat, rye or barley. However if you can eat oats, can I recommend Tesco's Free From Chocolate Ginger biscuits? They are eye wateringly expensive, but so delicious that sometimes I just have to buy a packet and put up with the consequences!
MyOtherWheelchairIsABroomstick · 19/07/2024 19:37

ThisGreyPanda · 19/07/2024 19:32

Neck pain? Is that a recognised symptom? Would be really interested to know more about this if you could come back to me. Could answer a few worries!

Not OP, but I too get these symptom - sore throat after eating the "wrong" foods and my whole gullet (?)/esophagus (?) burns for days like the bread or pastry has scratched every bit of surface on the way down. I think it's intolerance rather than allergy for me, but I like nice food and I have cancer anyway so I put up with the pain.

irishmurdoch · 19/07/2024 19:37

helpsoughtplease · 19/07/2024 17:53

Actually not everyone feels violently ill if they have CD and eat something with gluten!

DM has full diagnosis of CD. biopsy, the lot. It was diagnosed probably around 20 years ago or so. She didn't have the typical symptoms in that she became constipated (rather than had runny poo) and just comes out in a rash. However, she was fatigued as her body couldn't take up the nutrients due to the disease having damage her intestinal wall.

Nowadays she can get away with having the odd battered fish, maybe a sauce with flour in it but she's otherwise mostly very careful. This doesn't make her ill as such but she may suffer with constipation and get a rash.

She could be putting herself at risk of bowel cancer doing this. Coeliacs simply should not eat any gluten at all, as you can't know what silent damage is being done.

irishmurdoch · 19/07/2024 19:34

DoneAndNotDusted · 19/07/2024 17:52

@MrsBuntyS Curious about your father - I know some people with coeliac disease can eat oats; others, like you, cannot. Does he have to eat gluten free oats; I know oats are naturally gluten free, but can easily be cross contaminated with other grains? So coeliacs generally have to eat oats which state gluten free on the packet.

Some coeliacs even have trouble with GF oats, as there's a protein in oats that's very similar to gluten and the body can get confused and react to it in the same way.

ThisGreyPanda · 19/07/2024 19:32

alpinia · 19/07/2024 19:30

CD runs in my family and while we have plenty of relatives who religiously avoid any chance of cross contamination we also have two fully diagnosed older relatives who more or less refuse to follow the diet. One of whom tucks in to normal biscuits quite happily then complains later about stomach ache and neck pain. This one insists the doctor told her it was fine to eat gluten containing foods as and when 'especially at her age'.

Neck pain? Is that a recognised symptom? Would be really interested to know more about this if you could come back to me. Could answer a few worries!

alpinia · 19/07/2024 19:30

CD runs in my family and while we have plenty of relatives who religiously avoid any chance of cross contamination we also have two fully diagnosed older relatives who more or less refuse to follow the diet. One of whom tucks in to normal biscuits quite happily then complains later about stomach ache and neck pain. This one insists the doctor told her it was fine to eat gluten containing foods as and when 'especially at her age'.

Sausagedognamedmash · 19/07/2024 19:29

DH is a 'silent coeliac' so he doesn't get the digestive issues in terms of cramps, immediate illness etc, however it affects his skin, his energy levels, his sleep etc. He sticks to a gluten free diet 95% of the time but will occasionally have a sandwich, or a beer, or fish and chips, if the situation leads to it. He shouldn't. It still causes damage to his gut and intestines. But as he doesn't feel horrific after it, he doesn't see the issue.

It is possible.

ThisGreyPanda · 19/07/2024 19:27

Yes you can have a silent / asymptomatic version of the disease where you may not display typical symptoms from eating gluten but the damage is still being done to your gut. This still affects absorption of vitamins and minerals and leads to long term problems associated with difficiency. Two of my family members will be immediately unwell from eating gluten. The other would suffer no short term affects but within a few weeks of eating gluten would have reoccurring tonsillitis, fatigue, poor skin condition etc. She's much more likely to be less careful with what she eats and so would be more likely to eat the odd biscuit

Decompressing2 · 19/07/2024 19:24

I have diagnosed ceoliac disease (by endoscopy process and blood test) and I can actually in theory eat a normal bread sandwich and have zero symptoms. But I don’t have any because I am out of those ceoliacs where earring gluten more causes us autoimmune issues with it so if I was eating gluten on a regular basis I would eventually get sick.

stichguru · 19/07/2024 19:22

We are in a social group with an adult who's got gluten intolerance and two children with Coeliac Disease. All eat GF, but the adult will be fine if her food is cut with the same knife as the other bread. If there is a tiny bit of gluten in something her tummy might feel a little sore. For Coeliac kids the same amount would mean a few hours curled up with a hot water bottle for awful tummy ache and a bucket & toilet for horrible D+V. I suspect though some people who are GF but not Coeliac might be as ill as the kids with gluten? I don't know if any Coeliacs who have a milder reaction.

CormorantStrikesBack · 19/07/2024 19:02

Dd has diagnosed coeliac disease and has to be ever strict. A tiny bit of cross contamination causes projectile vomiting and she’s in bed for two days in a weird sort of semi conscious stupor.

a colleague of mine also has properly diagnosed coeliac disease and eats cakes and biscuits still as she says gluten free stuff is shit and then moans about stomach ache all the time.

some people with coeliac disease will have no noticeable symptoms at all. So it is possible.

but if she is hazy on details/not wanting to discuss tests it’s also possibly bullshit.

Psychologymam · 19/07/2024 19:01

Why do you care? She sounds difficult but really what is it to you if she is or isn’t? My child has a proper allergy (epi pen - scary reaction etc) but can tolerate her allergy when it’s highly processed. This is amazing and allows us some food freedom and in fact we try hard to keep it in diet under medical advice. very scary if she was to have it unprocessed though. I’m sure some people question it which is so annoying and potentially unsafe.

TheCrenchinglyMcQuaffenBrothers · 19/07/2024 19:01

You can have Coeliac Disease and still choose to eat gluten.
Bit stupid IMO, but if you're ok with the horrendous side effects, nobody else's business I suppose.
What the fuck that has to do with your bikini line though, I cannot imagine.

Yougotwhatstuckwhere · 19/07/2024 18:53

I knew someone who said the had chrones.
She didn't, it was an excuse to do fuck all in the bathroom for ages.
Before anyone jumps on me, she also didn't want me to mention it in front of her parents, and lied about having cancer, even shaved her head ffs.

TheSquareMile · 19/07/2024 18:52

@CookiePookie

Has she had an endoscopy/biopsy at her local hospital?

I have Coeliac Disease; the diagnosis was about 10 years ago.

The initial diagnosis came from a blood test organised by my GP.

I was referred to the gastroenterologists at the local hospital some time later. The specialist there told me that he considered the gold standard for diagnosis to be a blood test PLUS an endoscopy/biopsy, so I agreed to have the endoscopy/biopsy.

The specialist was able to see everything, as there was a little camera in the apparatus they used and a screen in front of him. The villi in the gut are flattened in people with Coeliac Disease who are still eating gluten and he could see the flatness on the camera.

The apparatus can also take a sample for biopsy, so he did that too and the analysis confirmed that I had Coeliac Disease.

https://www.coeliac.org.uk/information-and-support/coeliac-disease/getting-diagnosed/blood-tests-and-biospy/

ilovesushi · 19/07/2024 18:45

There is a difference between a gluten allergy and a gluten intolerance. Maybe she is getting confused between the two.

CookiePookie · 19/07/2024 18:41

QuarterYellow · 19/07/2024 18:35

Taking the CD aside, what the fuck reason did she give for demanding to see your to do list????

No actual good reason. She left the room as I was being difficult by not showing her the list. I refused to discuss it further - I had a lot on my plate with it being days before the wedding and bikini wax imminent... of course she came to the wedding.

OP posts:
CookiePookie · 19/07/2024 18:39

JamSlags · 19/07/2024 18:35

OK now I’m in the ‘she’s a dick’ camp. This is terrible behaviour and just teaches restaurants that gf doesn’t really matter. I am team (gluten-free) CookiePookie and your MiL sounds a complete mare.

I quite like gf custard creams though.

I ate the GF custard creams after they left and quite liked them so was offended on the biscuits' behalf. Glad I posted here as even it was just a vent about it, I've gained lots of knowledge. I agree she is a mare and probably 'it's not about the GF' as someone else noted!

OP posts:
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