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Original poster

Is trying on someone else’s engagement ring a faux pas?

88 replies

Potee · 19/07/2024 16:19

So my sister and I are very close, both in age and relationship. I literally can get changed in front of her no issue and we spend a lot of time together. Best friends, share beds on holiday etc. 11 month age gap.

Sister became engaged very recently. When I saw her I congratulated her and obviously asked to see the ring. I asked if I could try it on and she gave it to me. No issue.

Anyway, yesterday my sister and I were having a disagreement and it was one of the fights where you bring every fault into it. And she said something about how my asking for the ring was just plain weird. I apologised later and said I genuinely didn’t know it was a faux pas. Like when I bought my posh birthday watch she tried it on and i thought it was similar thing.

Have since googled and realise some people think it is bad luck but I know sister is not aware of this superstition.

AIBU in thinking I wasn’t deliberately being inappropriate? And her words were just designed to hurt.

I don’t like this implication I have no boundaries. I am actually far too concerned with offending/annoying others.

OP posts:
SummerDays2020 · 19/07/2024 20:57

I do think it's a bit odd to ask someone to try on a piece of their jewellery but not specifically an engagement ring. But then as you are so close I suppose that is why - like you're used to sharing things? But it is mean of your sister to say nothing at the time and then moan about it later. But as you say if it was one of those arguments she could have just said it in the moment and not really meant it.

Cherrysoup · 19/07/2024 20:51

I wouldn’t like it. You don’t need to put it on, you can just look, why would you try it on? I find it a bit odd, but then she gave it to you so can’t really whinge.

tuttuttutt · 19/07/2024 20:49

Yes it's a bit weird

JackJarvisEsq · 19/07/2024 20:48

I’ve worn my sisters while she went surfing. It was then I discovered I have sausage fingers compared to her lovely slender ones 😭

Dreamstosell · 19/07/2024 20:42

Perfectly normal to try on engagement rings in my experience. And as others have said you turn it 3 times and make a wish. (Scottish)

namechangetheworld · 19/07/2024 20:36

She's being absurd. You asked to try on her ring, not shag her fiance.

I assume quite a few customers in the jewellery shop would have tried it on before her anyway. I must have tried on about sixty across four different shops.

OchonAgusOchonOh · 19/07/2024 20:28

I'm Irish and, as previous posters have said, it's a tradition here.

However, when I started by first real job in my early 20's I had never heard of this tradition. One of my colleagues had gotten engaged so I went up to congratulate her. She took the ring off and handed it to me. I held it up, looked at it, and said "it's lovely" or something and handed it back to her. It was only when she gave it to other people and they did the whole twisting and were reminded they couldn't wish for a man or money that I realised it was a thing.

Jumblebum · 19/07/2024 20:00

Ffs just read the thread. Sorry I did that annoying thing.

Jumblebum · 19/07/2024 19:59

Haven't read the full thread cos I'm lazy but where I'm from trying on someone else's new engagement ring and twisting it round three times brings good luck in love. Not actually obviously but it's a thing. Bride to be actually offers round her ring.

Cocolapew · 19/07/2024 19:58

Member984815 · 19/07/2024 16:38

It's a tradition where I'm from to try on the ring twist 3 times and make a wish , you did nothing wrong.

Same here.

MrsMillyFluff · 19/07/2024 19:56

Member984815 · 19/07/2024 16:38

It's a tradition where I'm from to try on the ring twist 3 times and make a wish , you did nothing wrong.

I was waiting for this comment to pop up, we do this too, where I'm from.

Arewethebadguys · 19/07/2024 19:55

Member984815 · 19/07/2024 16:38

It's a tradition where I'm from to try on the ring twist 3 times and make a wish , you did nothing wrong.

This!!!! Everyone who gets engaged hands over their ring to friends, colleagues, acquaintances . . . tis good luck 🍀🍀🍀

Sunhatweather · 19/07/2024 19:53

I remember it feeling really odd when my SIL (who is quite superficial and spendy) asked me to take my ring off so she could have a look at it? I gave her a bit of a flustered ‘no’ - it just seemed rude. I half thought she was going to bite it to check the quality!

Leanmeansmitingmachine · 19/07/2024 19:46

It’s not like you asked to try on the fiance for size.

GrannyAchingsShepherdsHut · 19/07/2024 18:48

All my colleagues tried my engagement ring on the next day - mostly because when they wanted to see it, I thought it would be really awkward to have 10 people staring at my hand, so I took it off and gave it to them.

The only one I was annoyed by was the one who 'hilariously' put it on and then walked off, out of the room. Hmm

Branster · 19/07/2024 18:45

I think it's an odd thing to do.
It never ever crossed my mind to try anyone's engagement ring on. What's next?! Try on the wedding ring???

It is a very personal item between 2 people only. Something to be passed on after death only.

tuvamoodyson · 19/07/2024 18:43

Member984815 · 19/07/2024 16:38

It's a tradition where I'm from to try on the ring twist 3 times and make a wish , you did nothing wrong.

Same here! Turn it clockwise 3 times and make a wish! (When we were young it was for one of your own!)

Holliegee · 19/07/2024 18:41

I’ve tried other people on and people have tried mine on.
Its no big deal with my peers.

I think your sister was just grabbing at straws to find things to be annoyed about.

Marblessolveeverything · 19/07/2024 18:40

deeahgwitch · 19/07/2024 17:20

I'm in Ireland and it's traditional to do that.
Traditionally you can't wish for a man or money but you can wish for a rich (and generous) mother in law.Smile

I just wish for a happy marriage for the newly engaged couple.

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Yep Ireland too.

FictionalCharacter · 19/07/2024 18:38

She should have just said no, not say yes then bring it up in an argument.

Sallysoup · 19/07/2024 18:35

I've tried friends engagement rings on, and they've tried mine on when I got engaged, I don't think it's strange between close friends or family.

Tadpole10 · 19/07/2024 18:22

My sister announced she's leaving me her wedding ring and engagement ring in her will!

CelesteCunningham · 19/07/2024 18:14

TheYearOfSmallThings · 19/07/2024 17:53

Exactly - you try it on and pretend to be blinded by the diamond. Saying you don't want to would be like saying you don't want to hold a new baby that is being handed to you.

Show quote history

Lol, so true. I thought my discomfort with newborns would go once I had my own, but turns out nope, that was short-lived!

Newposter180 · 19/07/2024 17:54

CelesteCunningham · 19/07/2024 17:17

Never heard this! We all tried on each others rings when we got engaged, fancy jewellery, what's not to love? Your sister is being weird.

Same - lots of my friends tried on my engagement ring when I first got engaged and I didn’t think it was weird at all! More likely to happen if you’re engaged before them so it is very much “ooh diamonds!”, in the same way that you might ask to look at someone’s new handbag!

phoenixrosehere · 19/07/2024 17:53

I thought it was bad luck to do so. Never thought to let someone try it on or try someone else’s and don’t think anyone ever asked to try mine tbh.

Why would I need to try someone’s on?