AIBU to think to a neighbour has acted inappropriately

Yeah this is definitely inappropriate OP and I feel a little scared for your DS. I know you've probably been caught off guard not expecting such gross behaviour from a father himself, but now you know he is odd/not quite right, you need to step up for the sake of your daughter and show him very clearly where your boundaries are.

Stop being a meek people-pleaser.

Step the fuck up for your child and show her that its okay to have boundaries, and that you've got her back.

Sorry, OP, but you come across like a wet lettuce. Don't pass this on to your DD.

I would loudly calling him out. Are you showing a minor your underwear? Say that very loudly.

Again, are you using that type of language around a minor? Be loud and firm. Don't let him know that he can get away with this, and more importantly you are giving your dd reassurance that this isn't ok.

An adult doesn't say "wanker" to a child end of story I don't care what it's about. Not normal and 100% bloody inappropriate!

Oh and the inbetweeners was bloody hilarious but he has clearly missed the mark attempting to quote inbetweeners lines at your daughter who presumably hasn’t got a clue what he’s taking about. Just try to avoid him/ act in a rush when you spot him. If you have any weird encounters with him again say “that’s an inappropriate thing to say to a 12 year old girl!” and walk off - make him feel awkward.

Never say SORRY. There’s absolutely no need to be polite to a creep like him. Being your neighbour does not entitle him to a second of your time.

I think I’d use this as an opportunity to teach your daughter that she does not need to answer questions from arseholes, or be polite to annoying people, and shitty men in particular.

Point out that men and boys have never been obliged to entertain this sort of shit from other people so why should women put up with this nonsense?

Stop engaging with him. Either ignore completely or glare at him and tell him to piss/fuck off, if you’re feeling particularly annoyed.

He sounds a bit strange - probably trying to be friendly and “cool” but going about it in a weird way. Socially inept and not able to read body language/facial expressions. I met a bloke walking my dog the other day who I’d never met before and he droned on at me for 20 minutes telling me all about his family and son and dogs - in lots and lots of detial. I just didn’t get it - he didn’t ask me a single question - just bizarre! People are bizarre!

Context?

Do you mean in general as in I'm a person minding my own business going about my day to day life not expecting to get yelled at by twats?

That's because I am.

Or specifically that I'm someone waiting for a bus?

Because I'm not, I'm just sat in my house lol.

Do you even understand the phrase?

We had a neighbour like this at my parents house. He was an older man with grown up children who, funnily enough, only started his inappropriate comments after my dad died and my mum was left alone. He used to walk past her and say things like "how's the rich widow today?". I eventually moved in with her and he started his weird comments on me, telling me I'd landed on my feet moving in with my mum etc all said in a supposedly "jokey" way but actually quite offensive. I found completely ignoring him, not acknowledging what he said but giving him my "resting bitch face" stare soon shut him up. One day he approached my son on the nearby field, ds was just stood around, not bothering anyone, but this man went out of his way to ride right up to him on his bike and started asking him strange "jokey" questions. What the weirdo didn't know was that my son was actually waiting for our extremely large, very protective dog, to reappear from behind the bushes. Ddog, on spotting this weirdo harassing ds, launched himself at him and knocked him off his bike. Needless to say there were no "jokey" comments after that!

Don't be polite
Don't say please

Be very firm in your response to him.

He's taking the piss because he knows you're feeling uncomfortable.

You've got to stand up to him before he starts with the
" other stuff" which will no doubt be sexual.

Omg this man is a pervert. Cold shoulder him and tell your daughter why. What a vile creep. Keep a beady eye on him.

We've got a weird neighbour he's probably in his 70's only speaks English if he wants a lift or wants to borrow money or cigs. His daughter is currently in prison for running a human trafficking ring from their house so no one really wants to interact with him, they're dodgy as hell. My sister was round a few weeks ago and as she left he went over to her car and tried getting in it WITH HER TWO DAUGHTERS who are 9 & 6 and said you take me to Lidl. Luckily my OH was home so I said "get him to fuck" and he went out and told him to do one. When I see him in the street I just avoid eye contact and go in the house quickly

This is inappropriate - don't engage with him, he'll only use it to be more of a nuisance. "Sorry got to rush" if he does ask questions.

I think if he asked where my daughter was I'd say something like "if I told you that she'd have to find another place to hide then wouldn't she" or "Well she's not here, so I guess she must be somewhere else" with a dead eye stare then turn & walk away. Stick to that, give him no info whatsoever

OP how assertive do you feel you can be with him?
Can you take on the bossy school teacher vibe and say "no Howard, I hope you've not been showing your pants to any old ladies on the street this week"
and sort of mock him into knowing he's not appropriate.
I agree that engaging the wife in convo or bringing her up might help.
But I don't know how well you know this guy and the best thing might actually be a silent wave of dismissal as you keep walking past his house and into your own, without stopping.

This 100%. Turn it back on him. Act confused and make these men repeat their creepy inappropriate comments.

Not sure how old you dd is op but if she is ever home alone insist she never answers the door to him. Ime it's hard for dc to be rude to strangers. As dm's we get the back chat and eye rolling but to an adult dc are usually polite. - good upbringing!! I have 3 dd's and told them if they aren't comfortable with how close /friendly people get it's fine to smile and say please go away. Or stop talking to me thanks.. Or plain old fuck off. Dd often got approached in the bus for example... She would move seats or stand near the driver. She did tell one pervy bloke he was just that. Teach her it's OK to be rude if need be...

This definitely needs shutting down. To the where is question reply firmly out. Where’s <your wife> why doesn’t she get endless time to hang around? We should drop by and say hi to her. (Do you have a partner? Say <partners name> and I should drop in and say hi to her.
cool, friendly, firm, I don’t buy your shit tone. Teach your dd she doesn’t owe him a reply- to look at him, and keep walking.

Sorry, further to my previous post, I just fail to see why this is taken on as ‘your problem’ rather than putting it back on the pervert as their problem?

The main one being i have a nearly teenage DD, when she isn't with me (she stays with her grandparents on a regular basis) the first question he will ask is 'where is she?' I try to divert the question, but he is quite persistent. I am generally quite a private person and this really isn't any of his business! Is this him trying to be friendly & make conversation

You look at him and say ‘Why are you asking, it seems both odd and untoward, why do you need to know where my daughter is’.

The problem is being polite. Why? What would this achieve when the the person you are dealing with seems to be a pervert?

This is absolutely not normal. My partner would NEVER notice anything our neighbours were wearing unless it was unusually designed to attract attention (think Lady Gaga and Sam Smith).

He is an absolute creep and this os a great opportunity to demonstrate to your daughter how to deal with these types as unfortunately there is no shortage of them.

There keeps on being threads with this exact premise. Bit odd

You have missed the point totally.
The person you are quoting isn't a ''bus wanker'', as she's probably not standing at a bus stop.

I'm a bus wanker, as it's easier to get a bus into town than drive.

He sounds very creepy and predatory.

You and your daughter should keep a diary, one each, of everything he says and does that you find odd/weird/strange. Detail the dates, times, his words, actions, how you feel etc. ''just in case''.

He would creep me out big time if he spoke to me that way and I'm a 59 year okd woman with no kids!

@oakleaffy oh god I love them boys