AIBU to think to a neighbour has acted inappropriately

Why would I show my underwear to men? My knickers don't have a waistband. There is nothing offensive about the waistband of boxer shorts being above the waistline of a man's trousers. Have you not seen young men with their trousers half way down their bums. Have you not seen young females with low cut trousers and a thong high up their back. Maybe the bloke is used to having is top off and his boxers waistband showing and therefore doesn't see an issue with lifting his top to show the named brand on his waistband.
I am always asked by both genders where my child is if they are not with me. Should I be suspicious that they are all waiting for me to say that they are alone at the park?

This is utter garbage. Did you miss this part?:

the first question he will ask is 'where is she?' I try to divert the question, but he is quite persistent

The word "persistent" stands out- when someone is vague and you keep on and on about it thats not merely making conversation, it's creepy.

Secondly, do you show your underwear to your elderly neighbours or your male neighbours? if not, why not, if its as harmless as you claim it is? Surely it would actually be more appropriate to show it to male neighbours, not female ones, if you are merely trying to indicate a fashionable clothing brand for men as they would be the ones likely to buy it based on your recommendation.

Thirdly, there are many, many, many benign conversation topics to make with neighbours that dont involve your stupid underwear or being persistently weird and intrusive about where someone's teenage daughter is.

Sorry but you sound like one of these men. Stop making excuses for pervy behaviours.

I have to agree with this one. It is difficult to grow a pair sometimes and have the guts to say this, but in this case mum needs to show protective behaviours and give him a verbal punch in the face.

Now I see where they get jurors from to convict innocent men for grooming.
All I see is a new neighbour trying to make friends with his neighbours.
Asking where someone's child is, is a conversation starter for someone that knows very little about you but knows you have a child.
Showing the waistline of men's underwear is the reason why brands put their name on the waistline. That's why you see topless men with the waistband showing.
Swearing may be inappropriate to you but others don't find anything wrong with it. Explain to dd that some people swear but for whatever reason you find it inappropriate and would not like her to swear.

Having suffered DV, I can say you will have inflamed senses for weird behaviour. Initially I wondered if he has a mental health issue, but bypassing you to speak to your daughter is out of order.

I recommend you usher your daughter on home if he’s out. If he’s said something out of order to her, then say to him you’d rather he not speak to her that way. But be wary of giving your daughter any hangups, tweenies are very susceptible to any parental discomfort.

He is a neighbour, not your friend. You don’t owe him any interaction if he’s making you feel creeped out. Feel free to ignore him. If he or his wife later ask why - be honest. X

Is he autistic? Or is he neurotypical. Because reading this as an autistic it sounds like someone who doesn't know how to interact but wants to be friendly. If he is neurotypical then yes he is creepy.

Think I would have to tell him to back off. Does his wife / partner know he is behaving like this? Think if it continues tell him straight you will be contacting the police as you feel he is stalking your daughter.

YANBU
trust your gut...always

No idea on st but the other one is bus wanker 🤣🤣 its a joke everyone has with people who need to take the bus.

Can you walk on the other side of the road then cross over when you get to your house?

Ask him why he has such an interest in your child daughter….that should be enough to make him feel like the creep that he is. I had a neighbour who was always inappropriate to me in front of his wife, shouting things in a way that he thought was friendly banter, but it wasn’t it was bordering obsessive. One day I replied with, ‘you are far too interested in me’ he has hardly spoken to me since, which I’m very happy about.
Men often are creepy in a way that makes them appear ‘friendly’ it’s bloody disgusting.

Omg he's creepy trying to bond with your daughter. Tell her, he's werid and to please keep away from him! Next time he says werid things say, " no that's just werid. Please stop."

He's trying to be in with the kids by saying "bus wanker". Which ironically just underlines how much older than your DD he is, the sad sod. Its an insult, a version of pulling a girl's pigtails because he fancies her. In short, pathetic creep!

"Where's your DD?"
That's for me to know and no-one else.

No one needs to see your underwear thank you, you could be reported for that sort of thing.

Blank response to anything
else.

You can call the NSPCC I believe to ask for advice on ways forward/ reassurance on how to respond.

I'd agree with this. I'd be doing a check on his background and, if I was wrong, then excellent. Although I'd be asking his wife if there's any early onset dementia causing him to make inappropriate comments which should help stop his behaviour. If not and he has a background then you've protected your child and I'd make sure he knew that I was aware of what he'd done.
But then I'm overprotective as I was the child with the overly friendly (and convicted peado) relative which was kept secret from me and my mum.
I'd rather be safe than sorry.

Blimey that's a humongous leap.

He's chatting as a neighbour.

You're letting your previous experience cloud your judgement - be careful you don't teach this to your daughter - there's being protective and over the top, you are the latter.

Showing the waistband of his boxers isn't offensive in my opinion.

Is he talking to your daughter because he has older children too?

Are you so closed off that you're hard to make conversation with?

Personally I don't see anything wrong with what he's done or said.

Think they're just trying to be friendly neighbours.

Where's DD?

Nonyer.

Nonyer??

None of your business. Bye!

Glare then ignore every time he tries to speak to you. Tell your daughter to ignore him completely and not even look at him. He will get tired of not getting a reaction which is what he desperately wants.

He sounds a bit daft, but I do think your life experiences are making him seem more of a danger than he is. He sounds like a bit of a goon but nothing worse. He’s trying to be cool by swearing (swearing really isn’t taboo anymore), and the pants thing, he didn’t think that one through, but it’s not that bad!

I think he’s ‘testing the water’ to proceed to grooming.

How can you have seen the inbetweeners and not have heard bus wankers? Maybe you missed that episode but it's a key line in the series. Just like "his mum still buys his trousers" "what's pesto? Is it for humans?" And "friend 👍🏻

Why do women on here feel the need to be polite or even speak to this idiot? Ignore him and if he asks why look blank. If he's causing distress or the like get advice from the police. He's probably getting off on your discomfort. He knows exactly what's he's doing. Poor wife and dc.

I'm glad I'm not the only one in dark re these phrases and I've watched Inbetweeners. He's a creep. ignore ignore ignore.