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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Feel so sad that I've had to rehome my dog to my parents

57 replies

elm26 · 19/07/2024 10:50

I've had him for 9 years, he is a sprocker spaniel and the most amazing, loyal, beautiful natured boy. He is well trained and has never caused us any issues.

He's been with me through multiple miscarriage, anxiety and depression. He's been by my side through it all and I love him so much.

Ever since our 1 year old DD was born, he hasn't been himself, he stopped playing, stopped bringing us toys, he mopes around and seems genuinely sad.

He is always gentle with her, I don't let her hassle him, she is allowed to stroke him when we say she can but he seems permanently stressed by the general chaos of the place, the noise, the toys. He has his own corner with his crate, bed, food and water that DD isn't to go near.

I noticed that when we visit my parents on the weekend (they adore him and take him on holiday with them for a week a year, he also stays some weekends if we have plans that means that we will be out of the house for more than a few hours), he starts his playfulness again, he takes himself out to the garden and lays in the sun (we have had to move into a first floor flat for the foreseeable), he is bouncy and playful again, the dog I used to know. As soon as we are home, he reverts back to wanting to be left alone, not interested in his toys etc.

So, my parents offered to rehome him and I've broke my own heart here agreeing to it because he is so much happier. He gets peace and quiet, he gets a garden, he gets undivided attention. I feel so guilty, sad, lost without him but I know (think?!) I'm doing right by him. He is getting old, he has arthritis, I just want him to spend his last however many years happy. We will still see him every weekend, we will be having him when they go abroad etc.

Have I done the right thing here? My heads all over the place.

OP posts:

Createausername1970 · 23/03/2025 11:07

elm26 · 23/03/2025 10:44

@Createausername1970we still pay for his insurance and pet plan at the vets (6 monthly health check up, vaccinations, nails trimmed, worming and flea prevention) and they pay for his food, toys etc. this was agreed by all of us ☺️

Glad you had a discussion.

My friend rehomed her mum's dog when mum went into a nursing home. 6 months down the line the dog needed an operation and the bill was eye watering, even with insurance in place, as the total payable far exceeded what the insurance plan would pay out.

Original poster

elm26 · 23/03/2025 10:44

Thank you everyone, it’s reassuring to have confirmation that we did the right thing x

OP posts:

Original poster

elm26 · 23/03/2025 10:44

OP posts:

EmeraldShamrock000 · 23/03/2025 10:06

You done the right thing, he is safe and loved.

I have a sprocker spaniel too, she is adorable.

Think of it as a dog share.

Gerwurtztraminer · 23/03/2025 10:03

Lovely update and you are a shining example of a responsible dog owner who has acted in the best interests of your pet, not on what you wanted emotionally.

Sounds like you, parents and dog all now have a best of worlds. You get to see dog regularly, knowing it's happier and back to its goofy self, they have built in dog sitters and dog has a great home and lots of people that love it.

Createausername1970 · 23/03/2025 09:26

It's really hard OP, but you did the right thing.

We have our dog through similar circumstances, except we didn't really know her beforehand, so she took a few weeks to settle. It's been fine since and that was about 8 years ago.

But your dog is going to people and a home he already knows, and you will still see him regularly.

Can I just suggest that as these are your parents and you will still have a lot of interaction with the dog, that you have a clear discussion about potential vet fees and insurance costs etc.

SonoPazziQuestiRomani · 23/03/2025 09:14

This is lovely OP, you 100% did the right thing even though it must have been hard. My DGM has a rescue dog who us very nervous around the children because her previous (elderly) owner refused to rehome her even after becoming too frail to care for her. She ended up in a dog shelter anyway after the owner died, but it should have happened years earlier and she would have been a much happier dog if the owner had done the right thing at the time.

ETA: I meant your update is lovely, obviously not the original situation in the OP.

JMSA · 23/03/2025 09:14

Aww, you poor thing. You have done the right thing by him, so well-done you

Original poster

elm26 · 23/03/2025 09:08

I just wanted to give an update!

Firstly, thank you all so so much for your kind words. I did read them but I couldn’t bring myself to reply, I felt awful and sad for a long time.

Our boy is so happy and so loved, we see him every weekend and he jumps all over the place excited to see us and even our DD. We get WhatsApp’ed pictures of him fast asleep on his back with all legs in the air on the sofa, pictures of him wet and muddy after a long walk and he is back to his relaxed but playful self.

I cried for a good few months and I still miss him being here even now but it was the right decision for him and for us.

OP posts:

Weallnamechangesometimes · 19/07/2024 13:41

You absolutely have done the right thing for him. So bloody hard for you though.

ToxicChristmas · 19/07/2024 13:28

You've put him first. Be happy you've made him happy. You can still see him!

SauvignonBlonk · 19/07/2024 13:20

That’s true love OP. You’ve put his needs before your own. Happy dog, and you still get to see him.

SherbetSweeties · 19/07/2024 13:20

You have unfortunately I know it’s hard but if he’s that unhappy it’s just not fair on him. And at least you’ll be able to visit him and I’m sure if your parents want to go away etc you can look after him for them. He might even like the baby when he’s space from her etc,

Furrydogmum · 19/07/2024 13:09

You have done the right thing. I'm sorry you're sad, but he isn't, and you can still see him - he's loved and cared for in all directions! I took on a dog last year as his owner couldn't cope with him and a new baby, she didn't want to see him anymore as it would hurt too much, but we keep in contact about him. ❤️

Hotgoose · 19/07/2024 13:06

It sounds like you’ve done right by him and put his needs above your own, which is a selfless and loving act. It sounds like he’ll be very happy with your parents and you’ll get to see him regularly.

caringcarer · 19/07/2024 12:26

You've shown how much you love him by putting his needs first. He will be staying with Granny but he'll always be your boy. You'll see him every weekend and know he'll be happy lounging around in his garden. You are an excellent dog owner.

Thewholeplaceispickled · 19/07/2024 12:24

TaylorSwish · 19/07/2024 12:16

Think of your parents home as a dog retirement home with the best staff ever.

I love that.

Thewholeplaceispickled · 19/07/2024 12:23

As a rescue owner this has brought tears to my eyes because you are a wonderful dog owner and have put him (and your child) first. It must break your heart but you are in such a great position, he’s going to people you know, who will love him and give him everything he needs and you have the bonus of being able to see him still.
Very few rescues have this level of contentment.
Give yourself a big pat on the back for doing the right thing and a big hug too. You’ll realise in time what a good decision it was.

Prawncow · 19/07/2024 12:22

You’ve done exactly the right thing. You’ve let him go because he’s happier there, even though it’s breaking your heart. You put his needs first. That’s the definition of a good owner.

It must be very hard for you. Be kind to yourself.

Beebopwasthebest · 19/07/2024 12:18

This made me teary. I work in the pet industry and it made me feel emotional that someone was so in tune with their dogs emotions, despite having their own challenges.
And not only that, you have found the perfect solution ..your parents who love him and will care for him and he will still be part of your life.

Well done, you should be proud.

TaylorSwish · 19/07/2024 12:16

Think of your parents home as a dog retirement home with the best staff ever.

PuppiesProzacProsecco · 19/07/2024 12:12

You've 100% done the right thing OP. I did something similar with one of mine when she couldn't cope with the chaos of multiple rescue dogs/fosters. She was so much happier spending her final few years with my PILs. Like you, we saw her all the time and minded her when they went away.

It's hard for you but keep reminding yourself your boy would thank you for this if he could.

Calamitousness · 19/07/2024 12:07

I feel your pain. We have the most beloved spaniel and that would break my heart. But you’ve done right by him. Absolutely the right thing to do. Well done.

pangolina · 19/07/2024 12:03

Bless you, what a loving thing to do for your boy. Absolutely the right thing but I'm sure it was desperately hard for you x

elastamum · 19/07/2024 12:02

Well done, you have done the absolute best thing for your lovely dog. I can understand why you are sad, but it's a really great thing for both the dog and for your parents. You are really kind.

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