To not understand why my mum ( or anyone ) needs to sunbathe topless ?

Yanbu, she needs to pack it up when the kids are around. This would only be acceptable if everyone around her was comfortable and you are not.

@aghak have you ever taken your kids to a beach Europe?!

I wouldn't have a problem with any of those situations.

When DD’s were small, we lived in Middle Eastern countries where going to the beach was a major thing, but going topless was a definite No.

So by the UK sea one summer, dd2 (maybe 5 at the time) on seeing a topless woman nearby, came to me with a 😱 face. ‘Mummy, that lady’s got no bra-ziz on!’

Women who are 70 now were teenagers in the 1970’s, where not wearing a bra was normal, where it wasn’t considered rude or unpleasant to see nipples through a top, when hippies were becoming a big thing, it was a very liberating time. The 60’s and the sexual revolution had just happened with things like the pill, more women were going to universities and starting to think about prioritising careers. This was the time of the feminists who have made our lives so much more free and equal and liberating. Many women of that generation were far from prudes and sunbathing topless was nothing, (obviously not all women of that generation but it was certainly in the mainstream culture at that time). My mum sunbathed topless on holidays with me and my brother and with other families involving sons and husbands, we didn’t think much of it. I am 40 and I feel my generation is much much more prudish, my mum was always telling me off for being a prude! My mum still looks great in a bikini at 70 and I hope I do when I am 70. You are being a prude (which you are entitled to be) but also very ageist (which you shouldn’t be).
I sunbathed topless once in a fairly hippy place in Australia and a couple (man and woman) came over to say hello, and chatted totally normally about this and that, I remember thinking I’ve got my boobs out talking about the weather! It was very liberating, and swimming topless is a dream 😊
I have 2 sons around 11 years old, I wouldn’t sunbathe topless around them as one of them would be mortified (he’s very private) and the other would take it as a sign he’s fine to walk around butt naked all the time ! 😊I wouldn’t be surprised if my Mum did though!

So do you think newspapers should continue to have topless models in them?

Or would you be ok with your DH or kids going to a topless bar/restaurant?

Would you be happy with your friend visiting and being topless?

I think bravo to your mum for being body confident. I went to a naturist spa in Germany and people of all ages and sizes enjoying sunning themselves au naturale. I think it actually is a very positive example for children. Of course if you prefer to cover up do you, but our bodies are nothing to be ashamed of

I'd feel weird sunbathing topless around my kids (15 & 20) unless I was laying on my front. However I work out a lot and as a result will wear a bikini at whatever age I want to!

You sound incredibly uptight, OP. What on earth is wrong with a woman sunbathing topless or wearing a bikini at any age? I've sunbathed topless my entire adult life, where it was appropriate to do so, although we had many holidays in Egypt, southern Tunisia, and Morocco in recent years where I would obviously not have removed my top. I always wore a bikini until I put weight on after major surgery a few years ago and would do so now in my mid 60s if I lost a bit of weight. My husband and I have also been naked on naturist beaches on many occasions. I feel much more comfortable wearing less clothes if I'm relaxing on the beach. I went topless in front of my daughter when we were on holiday when she was younger without a second thought and would do so in front of grandchildren if I had any, again obviously if I was somewhere it was acceptable.

I don't understand why anyone would object to seeing someone else's breasts? The vast vast majority of women have them!

I used to sunbathe topless many years ago, before children. There is a sense of freedom about it. I never walked around topless though - strictly lying down for me!

As for your complaint about her wearing a bikini at 70 - I'd love to have half her body confidence! You should admire her TBH.

This!

Can't imagine the pain of sunburned nipples.

I'm 44 and wear a two piece to the pool because we are often there for hours on end and I hate putting on wet swimmers after a wee.

I mean...presumably those boobs kept you alive for a few months...if she wants to get them out on holiday in her twilight years that's her perogative

You wouldn’t think twice about a male being topless so why should it be different for women. Just because our chests are bigger it shouldn’t change the fact they are both the same.

Breasts serve the purpose of feeding children. The only reason people clutch pearls at seeing them is because they have been turned into sexual objects by men.

Lunch?

Hi OP, I totally understand and agree with your viewpoint but it is really up to your mum

I do think one piece swim suits tend to look better, especially nowadays because you get really nice ones but I have no issues with someone wearing a bikini, regardless of age or size.

That is a very helpful idea. Thank you. (Now, I need to book somewhere with privacy but that's a separate issue.)

I have nice boobs and a nice bum but I still wouldn’t go around topless or wear a thong bikini.

I don’t know why people do it because it’s easy to not get strap mark whilst still being covered.

I would never do it in front of my kids either.

I feel the same about men who wear thongs or super small speedos on the beach for display purposes too.

I used to work in a strip club (not as a stripper) so I am by no means a prude or ashamed of the naked body.

What about using those stick on bras? They can give you coverage and allow you to lift the breast. If it would help your skin condition it would be a shame not to do it.

YANBU about the topless sunbathing; I'd only ever do it if it was just me & DH and somewhere private.

YABU about the bikini.

I’ve just come back from a holiday where most of the beach goers were Spanish. Bikinis are worn by all the woman no matter the age, i
actually felt a bit out of place wearing my tankini but after a couple of days I was stuck wearing it as I had a tan with a very white stomach.

very few women were topless, if they were they were the older generation. 20 years ago you looked out of place if you wore your bikini
top.

Let your mum be, it’s a private space. Ill
be going back to wearing a bikini next year.

Tbah Id find it uncomfortable sitting with people who have their waps out, never mind my mother. Bikinis don't bother me though.

I also don't get the need to go brown either, never mind all over brown.

I think it's just something you'll have to ignore OP, or get yourself out for a bit.

How old are your kids. What do they think about it. Mine would be grossed out by a top less granny