To not understand why my mum ( or anyone ) needs to sunbathe topless ?

There doesn’t seem to be an epidemic of it amongst men…

Ha ha nope that’s the only way to do it or you can’t get the thing back on properly

I agree. My mum
used to do it and the local kids would tease me about it , I found it mortifying. She always had her dressing gown flapping open as well. It felt performative /forced on me than just being an I’m not bothered about nudity thing.

This.

Topless sunbathing was normal across France, loads of holiday places.

In Greece and the Canaries any beach used by Germans was just naturally naturist. Many beaches on the W coast of France where people just chose to go naked if they preferred.

Same on Holkham beach in Norfolk. Which is sadly colonised by gay men on the make now, partly because the parking that enabled families to walk down through the fields and dunes had been stopped.

But our whole family used to have lovely days there, and anyone who chose not to wear clothes didn’t. Teens, kids, grandparents… bodies are bodies and nothing to do with sex or aesthetic judgement.

Personally I find skimpy bikinis / things etc as sexualising of bodies as they are ‘covering up bits for modesty’. Hence the perceived contradiction between this and the ‘thing’ thread.

The only time I was aware of being leched at on a French ‘clothing optional’ beach was when I walked along wearing only a pair of v brief cut off Levi’s rather than nothing.

I am here in UK sunbathing topless in my garden, kids at school,husband sat at the side of me ..its joyous!

I sincerely hope by 70 I'm confident enough with my body to rock a bikini and tan my boobs. If men can walk around with their giant pot bellies and man-tatas out why shouldn't I?

I also hope that by 40 I'm not a judgemental cow who bitches about other women's clothes and bodies and thinks women should be making an effort to be "classy"

If she's just casually topless, not in a weirdly sexual and attention seeking way (& nothing you've said suggests she is), then I would suggest that your hang ups over perfectly normal human bodies are likely, in the social media, body dysmorphia and "pressure to look perfect" days we live in, to be potentially more damaging to your children than their grandma's lack of clothes in a place where that's broadly appropriate. You shouldn't feel shame about your body, nor have a problem with anyone else's, if they're not being inappropriate with it.

I can understand that you may feel slightly icky about it, but on a wider level, being comfortable in your skin and understanding that bodies come in lots of shapes and sizes and it's fine not to be in some unattainable beauty standard, is actually a really valuable thing for kids to take with them as they grow.

Manners also say not to look and stare at people.

I would argue that she is not in private. You are there and your children. Manners would dictate that you don’t display boobs if this makes any others uncomfortable. Of course many parents don’t care about this and still think they make the rules when it comes to their adult children.

I’m somewhat surprised how we are all so much more hung up about our bodies on the beach than we were 30 years ago. I just love to get out of my clothes and lie in the sun. It was quite Ok to lie naked at the far end of the beaches in Corsica in 1984. It is only in the last 10 years or so there has been far less toplessness on European beaches. No one turned an eye at this then, and none of the current endemic ageism that tries to question what I can wear. People in general seem far more prudish than they were in the 70’s/80s/90s.

I'm in my early 40s, overweight and will topless sunbathe in a (bikini) thong, whether I'm in my garden, on the beach, or at a holiday resort. If people don't like it they don't have to look, it's really quite simple! Even if you wear a top and take the straps down you don't always get a tan that doesn't look odd in certain styles of clothes so it's easier to take it off.
Good for your mum I say!

I realise I sound mean spirited don't I ? Or just uptight ? But isn't more, less and more classy in general ?

Yes, yes, it's up to her.

Do you have the same issue with men sunbathing topless?

Sunbathing topless is not nearly as common as it once was. We nearly always go on a European beach holiday and almost no one is topless - in Spain, France, Portugal, Croatia, Germany, Italy, Greece, Canary Islands - all in recent experience.

When I holidayed with friends in the 80s and 90s, most women were topless.

She's showing off her old fashioned credentials, I suppose. I've never been able to understand the appeal at all.

Well she might rather fancy sunbathing completely in the nude and isn't, in due deference to the rest of you, so I'd be glad she was just topless if I were you.

Exactly why do you think a 70 year old shouldn't wear a bikini OP? I can't think of any reason other than ageism.

Do people still sunbathe?

No issue with nudity but I'd be unimpressed with granny setting such an unhealthy example.

Re: going to the toilet - is it just me that pulls the gusset to one side then??!😄

I’d love to think I’d be happy going topless at 70, good on her.

You sound like a total prude OP, as clearly even a bikini bothers you.

There are also nudist beaches in the UK. And plenty of European countries don’t allow topless sunbathing at all - and it’s often the British women that have to be told to put a top on. So I don’t think this is a ‘prudish Britain’ thing at all. It’s a ‘prudish OP’ thing.

OP, I really can’t imagine getting worked up at the sight of my own mother’s boobs. Although it would be boob singular in my mum’s case, as she’s only got the one.

I would never sunbathe topless in a million years, personally (even if I were a sunbather, which I’m not). But I wouldn’t care if other people did, and certainly not my mum!

Sneering about her wearing a bikini is just ageism and misogyny on your part. She doesn’t have to hide her body because it doesn’t look the way you think it should.

It's not 'generational'

Some of us are sensible enough not to want a bout with skin cancer

How old are your children?

Does it embarrass them?

@Choochoo21 that's different. They are clearly sexualised. Sitting on the beach / sunbathing isn't.

You obviously don’t NEED to look classy anywhere but presumably pages upon pages of fashion editorials are dedicated to “poolside looks” because people actually do care how they look in these situations? Possibly even more than usual given the obvious vulnerability that comes with being barely dressed in public. Each to their own I suppose - I’d be more concerned about the sun exposure than nipples out, although I do think it’s pretty strange to do that in front of grandchildren, if that’s what the OP is saying.

It could be millions of reasons for her and your attitudes, I wonder if it’s about power play in between you and you don’t have a good relationship in reality. It feels a bit from your post that for you she is making some sort of point about it rather than just avoiding white marks and that she does what she wants without considering you.
Plus cultural traditions - your mum could be rebelling against them but you follow.
Im not the type sunbathing without top but I won’t be able to go sunbathing even in a one piece with my parents - they would comment about my swimsuit/ my body/ my tan/ my suncream etc and it would absolutely destroy the holiday. But I do recognize that this is because of my relationship with them, I happily sunbathe with other people around. Maybe it’s your situation too, your mum annoys you for some deeper reasons (could be rightly) so it is time to stop holidaying with her.