To not understand why my mum ( or anyone ) needs to sunbathe topless ?

Sexual attraction to another (adult, unrelated) person is not creepy. I have never said it is.
I've said you are creepy with your weird description of seeing boobs in the wild. Your last statement in your original post I quoted added nothing other than to undermine any valid points you may have had.

Were you rubbing your thighs and saying "phwaaa" as you typed it? Honestly it's like a caricature of a pervy man (Herb from Family guy springs to mind)

And I’m not a nudist either but if other people
enjoy it and are comfortable then it’s not my place to tell them they can’t engage in that. The benefits for them personally are their business.

I guess people enjoy and are comfortable with it until they aren't. And then enforcing boundaries is not possible in that context, which is a problem.

As a woman and a mother, I do feel that the reasons why a male stranger might want to be naked around women and children is my business, actually.

I think it was Bulgaria when I ran down a small hill whooping with delight at the beautiful sea view. It was then that spotted the fat old bloke, with the XS dick & shrivelled bollocks. I’m sure he thought I was whooping at him. OK, so I had accidentally wandered on to the nudist beach, but I just didn’t want to see that.

I’m with you OP, there’s no need to put us through this. Our parents bring us up telling us how to behave… then a few years on the mom gets her tits out 😒. I find it far more attractive to see someone in a decent costume.

I didn’t say you did say that? I agreed with you that it’s not prudish to acknowledge that? I simply said that breasts on the beach is prudish, in my opinion.

And I’m not a nudist either but if other people
enjoy it and are comfortable then it’s not my place to tell them they can’t engage in that. The benefits for them personally are their business.

This exactly and I think that that generation associate it with sophisticated continental behaviour because they saw it on holiday (or heard about it) a few decades ago.

In fact, it’s gone out of fashion on the continent more recently. Far fewer young French people sunbathe topless than their parents and grandparents.

I’m not keen on topless sunbathing at any adult age. I think it’s ageist to say there should be a cut off point. IMO public nakedness or toplessness is one of those postwar things that women were persuaded to do in the name of being liberated and sophisticated or ‘natural’. Women’s bodies have been ogled and objectified for far too long to make public toplessness innocent.

And anyway. The sun is far stronger now and we know much more about how damaging it is.

Hence why I said ‘pointing out abuse isn’t prudish but boobs on the beach is’ - you’re agreeing with me

I'm not saying that pointing out abuse is prudish?

I'm saying that communally nude spaces create opportunities for abuse to happen. And it's not prudish to acknowledge that.

I personally don't see why strangers need to be naked together. What is the benefit? Apart from the obviously sinister motives?

I wouldn't do anything that makes others around me feel uncomfortable

Hence why I said ‘pointing out abuse isn’t prudish but boobs on the beach is’ - you’re agreeing with me.

But this happens in non-nude spaces too. And pointing out abuse isn’t prudish, but our attitude towards naked boobs on the beach is. Sorry.

Boobs on a beach is totally different to an enclosed space where a strange naked male can legitimately ogle a naked woman, make her feel uncomfortable but she can't say anything because of the context.

But this happens in non-nude spaces too. And pointing out abuse isn’t prudish, but our attitude towards naked boobs on the beach is. Sorry.

Yes I think this is probably a better description. It’s a shame really, it influences us in many negative ways.

I’m not sure it is prudishness that influences our cultural approach to nudity, I think it’s focus on sex.

From Benny Hill to seaside postcards, to The Sun, to Naked Attraction (which would not be screened in very many countries) we see nakedness and bodies as sex, sex, SEX.

And therefore not suitable for children, no one fat, old or without a Beach Ready Body should ever dare undress in public because only stereotypically attractive, stereotypically sexy bodies, are fit to be seen.

That just sounds like a safeguarding nightmare to me.

My friend used to live in a Scandinavian country and she often used the public naked saunas. She said there had been numerous times when she'd been made to feel uncomfortable by men staring at her and following her around the spa.

I just think if you were a raging fucking pervert who got a thrill from looking at naked women and making them feel violated, a public naked sauna is the first place I'd go! Seems like a no-brainer to me.

But pointing out that legitimising and normalising spaces where men, women and children are naked together seems like a situation that's wide open to abuse makes you 'prudish' apparently.

I do think we’re quite prudish in this country. When I lived in Europe women of all ages were topless on the beach. Groups of young girls/teenagers would all do it around their male friends too, along with small children and much older ladies and no one batted an eyelid. No one was being weird and pervy, no one was trying to look elsewhere.

i have a friend who is a nudist and she said it’s not awkward and perch there either. People don’t stare because nakedness is standard and you just get used to it. Prudishness is the problem here, I think that’s kind of what leads to people getting over excited by the sight of a pair of breasts, because they think they HAVE to be covered up because they’re so sexual they cannot be allowed out on somewhere like a beach because they’re only for turning other people on. Well they’re not, they’re part of a woman’s anatomy and they’re normal and yes they can be sexual and yes they can have a feeding function, but lots of body parts can have functions and be sexual to different people. They don’t have to be sexual organs like the penis or vagina (yes I’m calling it a vagina before anyone jumps on me about correct anatomical words, I don’t care). They can just be part of the body and be sexual during sexual activity. Like my neck is to me. It’s just me neck but during sex it can be my favourite erogenous zone.

Why is it 'prudish'? It's such a pejorative term

It's just a preference

Hi OP, my husband is Scandinavian and over there many (most?) houses have a family sauna, where it's considered unhygienic to wear any swimwear.

It's basically the culture to have multiple generations of family, plus often friends, sit around naked and chat with each other while sweating profusely!

Just from my knowledge of his family (admittedly a limited dataset!) they have very positive attitudes to health and wellness, high body confidence, and are very relaxed about nudity - it's not very coupled to sex and is more part of normal daily life.

I personally think it's healthy for kids to see their parents and grandparents naked and what normal human bodies look like. Especially with the epidemic of exposure to porn and the surgically altered women's bodies that are 'normal' there.

I'm sorry that it makes you uncomfortable though.

I think you're just a bit grossed out because it's your mum and she's got her semi-naked body out around you and your children. I can understand why the boundaries feel a bit off.

If I saw a random 70 year old woman sunbathing topless on the beach, I wouldn't think anything of it.

But I absolutely do not want to see my mum's 70 year old tits and I'm sure my kids don't want to either!

I’m trying to imagine seeing my Grandma’s boobs.

As she was known to us as Grandma Surname, it’s a hell of a stretch.

Your mum sounds a laugh, but I won’t be treating any future grandchildren I might have to an eyeful of my babs 😂

I suspect breasts covered by a small triangle of fabric are almost as "appealing" as bare ones.

I agree with you op. I don’t get it either but I am quite a prude. I hate anything to do with nudism or naturism - it’s just ugly body parts unnecessarily being flaunted and dirty old men seem to be the main beneficiaries. Ugh. Grim.

YABU.
Feeling the warm sun on your skin is one of life's free pleasures.

Good on your mum.

I wouldn’t be getting them out in the first place!

How much would you charge?

So women should go top less in public too? From what age? 5? 10? 15?

I don’t feel shamed. I just see that you’re trying to shame me. I don’t think anyone’s unbidden sexual attraction to another (adult, unrelated) person is creepy; it’s what they do about it that can be creepy, and what I’m doing is feeling awkward and looking away.

Breasts are sexually attractive to some people. Women can go topless in spite of that, women can go topless because of that, or they can wear tops. But there seems to be this belief among some people on Mumsnet that the attractiveness of breasts is some kind of weird fetish dreamed up by sexist, patriarchal men; that anyone who sees anything sexy about breasts is brainwashed; and that people’s attraction to breasts, being allegedly unnatural, can somehow be stamped out. Which, frankly, I think is delusional.