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Original poster

Over heard DH on the phone

217 replies

Misschananderlerbongg · 18/07/2024 21:18

I really am genuinely wondering if I’m being unreasonable.

Just overheard DH on the phone and it was clear at the other end his friend was talking about the fact his wife had just had a boob job. They’re not close friends.

DH then said ‘I can only dream, that would be amazing’.

Then ‘every Man I know that paid for it had said it was a great investment, money well spent, no one has regretted it’. He’s brought this up with me before.

Then ‘oh I know it’s a no go here, she wouldn’t go for it’ in a very sad voice.

‘It needs to be initiated by the woman, I can’t bring it up’. Then what a lucky guy you are type chat.

This has made me very upset for a few reasons:

  1. I have small boobs, but have breast fed 2 kids and think they’re in pretty good shape
  2. it’s major surgery and he’s seen me go through major medically required surgery
  3. HE has put on weight, I have not and I never comment on it and wouldn’t dream or commenting on it
  4. He never compliments me or makes me feel sexy, and now I know he doesn’t like my boobs.

But I’m tired and emotional and keen to understand if I’m in the wrong? It just feels like a betrayal to talk about my body like this 😔

OP posts:
Jennyathemall · 18/07/2024 21:50

newleafontheplantjohn · 18/07/2024 21:48

Very old-fashioned of him.

Small boobs are in at the moment.

But yeah, what a weird thing to say.

Doesn't even make any sense. Why would anybody like the idea of breast implants just purely because they are breast implants? They are just lumps of silicone.

Some women would look much better without.

Likewise breast implants work really well for some women.

But it seems weird to me to have what sounds like a festish for "fake boobs just for the sake of it.

Eh?

Bigbirthdaygal · 18/07/2024 21:50

You said if he was more complimentary about your body it would affect you less...can't you see how fucked up that is???

I'm really sorry but he is really grim. I really would worry about your children. He's a terrible role model for either sex.

How you could find a man like that attractive let alone be desperate for his approval- that's so messed up.

Soubriquet · 18/07/2024 21:48

“Dh, I think you need to lose weight. I’m not happy with the weight you’ve gained, and Sally said she knows a great surgeon”

”what the fuck are you on about?! Why are you talking to sally about weight loss surgery. I thought you loved me as I am”

”well I did, but I heard you talking to Bill so I assumed we were allowed to talk about this sort of stuff with our friends. You know…improvements. It would be a good investment on my part”

newleafontheplantjohn · 18/07/2024 21:48

Very old-fashioned of him.

Small boobs are in at the moment.

But yeah, what a weird thing to say.

Doesn't even make any sense. Why would anybody like the idea of breast implants just purely because they are breast implants? They are just lumps of silicone.

Some women would look much better without.

Likewise breast implants work really well for some women.

But it seems weird to me to have what sounds like a festish for "fake boobs just for the sake of it.

Ellie56 · 18/07/2024 21:48

Misschananderlerbongg · 18/07/2024 21:40

Thanks everyone. I appreciate the responses and it’s really making me see things clearly.

I think if he was complimentary about me and my body, this would affect me less. If I felt desired and if he hadn’t mentioned the boob thing before (but he has complimented boob jobs several times in the past).

I did bring it up with him, he was mortified. Said it wasn’t meant like that at all. He seems genuinely ashamed and says he’ll make it up to me, I’ve got an incredible body etc. but I can’t unhear what he said.

We’ve also been doing couples therapy and he’s been making zero bloody effort, so that came out too. I also rarely feel supported by him with my career… it all just came out. I read him the riot act, he says he’ll get better but I don’t know. I feel like I deserve better 😔

You do deserve better. He sounds a right fat twat.

Surprisedmystified · 18/07/2024 21:46

I don't think I could look at him in the same way again after hearing him talk about women's bodies like that.
Does he realise women are human beings and not just objects to be manipulated into shapes to please men? He could just invest in a blow up doll.

I'd have difficulty letting him touch me again.

coupdetonnerre · 18/07/2024 21:46

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

ErrolTheDragon · 18/07/2024 21:46

I read him the riot act, he says he’ll get better but I don’t know. I feel like I deserve better

Well done. Perhaps this may be a wake up call for him but tbh I wouldn't hold my breath too long.

Shoxfordian · 18/07/2024 21:44

A man who really loved you would never talk like this about you

Thevelvelletes · 18/07/2024 21:44

Misschananderlerbongg · 18/07/2024 21:40

Thanks everyone. I appreciate the responses and it’s really making me see things clearly.

I think if he was complimentary about me and my body, this would affect me less. If I felt desired and if he hadn’t mentioned the boob thing before (but he has complimented boob jobs several times in the past).

I did bring it up with him, he was mortified. Said it wasn’t meant like that at all. He seems genuinely ashamed and says he’ll make it up to me, I’ve got an incredible body etc. but I can’t unhear what he said.

We’ve also been doing couples therapy and he’s been making zero bloody effort, so that came out too. I also rarely feel supported by him with my career… it all just came out. I read him the riot act, he says he’ll get better but I don’t know. I feel like I deserve better 😔

Posted to wrong person,he wouldn't be happy if you were discussing with a friend about a penile upgrade for him too keep you happy.mr perfect need to have a good hard look at himself...and you definitely deserve better.

LordPercyPercy · 18/07/2024 21:43

Tell him you need the budget for his gastric bypass, lipo and tummy tuck.

pumpkinpie88 · 18/07/2024 21:42

What a shallow man. I would definitely tell him you heard him. You are definitely not being unreasonable, I'm just sorry you had to hear him.

coastalhawk · 18/07/2024 21:42

Oh my god, what a shallow man!? I'd be hurt and angry - but perhaps most of all be a bit disdainful of a rather sad and immature person... tell him to imagine if you were talking to a friend about his inadequate penis?

Thevelvelletes · 18/07/2024 21:40

Nocturna · 18/07/2024 21:21

I can't imagine a man who loves me speaking about me like that.

Bet he wouldn't have been happy if you were talking to a friend about getting him a penile upgrade to well you know..to keep you happy.

Original poster
Misschananderlerbongg · 18/07/2024 21:40

Thanks everyone. I appreciate the responses and it’s really making me see things clearly.

I think if he was complimentary about me and my body, this would affect me less. If I felt desired and if he hadn’t mentioned the boob thing before (but he has complimented boob jobs several times in the past).

I did bring it up with him, he was mortified. Said it wasn’t meant like that at all. He seems genuinely ashamed and says he’ll make it up to me, I’ve got an incredible body etc. but I can’t unhear what he said.

We’ve also been doing couples therapy and he’s been making zero bloody effort, so that came out too. I also rarely feel supported by him with my career… it all just came out. I read him the riot act, he says he’ll get better but I don’t know. I feel like I deserve better 😔

OP posts:
BroadbeanMama · 18/07/2024 21:39

mrsdineen2 · 18/07/2024 21:21

Eavesdroppers rarely hear good things.

But they almost always hear the truth.

Purplecatshopaholic · 18/07/2024 21:38

I would 100% tell him I heard him. Then sit back and see what he says (he’d better grovel!) I’d be really upset too op.

Moonshiners · 18/07/2024 21:36

mrsdineen2 · 18/07/2024 21:21

Eavesdroppers rarely hear good things.

Not when there a sexist dickheads about.

FairyLightBan · 18/07/2024 21:35

Tell him to spend it on himself

justanothermummma · 18/07/2024 21:35

Ask for a boob job, recover, then ltb! That will teach him for being so shallow.

GingerPirate · 18/07/2024 21:33

Sunshineafterthehail · 18/07/2024 21:23

Talk to him about surgical penis enlargement.. Tell him you could go abroad and get joint surgeries....

This one, with knobs.

ShallWeGoToTheFirepit · 18/07/2024 21:32

He sounds charming!

Cherrycola29k · 18/07/2024 21:31

I’ve had a boob job, because I had incredibly low self esteem (they didn’t grow correctly), but I’d be so upset if I overheard this conversation. Then I’d bring up his weight gain…. But then I’m petty like that 🤷‍♀️

StormingNorman · 18/07/2024 21:28

You already know he likes fakes boobs so this isn’t news. Honestly, it may be a preference but he chose you and is happy with you.

AhBiscuits · 18/07/2024 21:27

He's an arse and just upset that he now has the biggest boobs.