Over heard DH on the phone

It's outrageous.

@shuggles You are both factually correct, and missing the point.

There is no useless flesh at the end of a penis. A man's body is complete and wholly functional as it is.

Glad to see your update, OP. This slimeball is the living embodiment of the joke "What do you call the useless bit of flesh at the end of the penis? A man."

Yes, he sounds like yet another man who doesn't see women as human beings but a collection of body parts for male pleasure

When next on the phone to your friend:

wow really, his dick is how big ? I could only dream of that here - sex with that - good god that’s amazing and he did what to you, after doing all the laundry and washing up and looking after the kids. Bloody hell. Etc

the above is tongue in cheek - seriously he’s a shit leave him

But if you actually thing about all this - how on earth can breast size be 'in fashion' You get what your body develops. They may or may not change over the years due to pregnancy, breastfeeding, perimenopause, hormones, etc.

You have very little choice over your breast size.

Surgery is a choice, I guess, but it's a pretty extreme way to achieve a so-called fashionable look! And definitely not something most people would recommend for most healthy women.

It just seems ridiculous to me that something like breast size can be called fashion!

Thats not a nice way to speak about your dw on the phone to your friend.. what your dh has done is wrong and I can totally understand how you must be feeling... if my dh was speaking about my body parts to his friend on the phone putting them down I'd be livid op... so sorry you feel insecure about yrself at the moment.. he shouldnt be shutting you down to his friends especially about something you cant help...

It's not the OP's fault that her husband has said - and appears to mean - these things.

Good on you OP for having that conversation. I'm inclined to agree with others that there's no coming back from this. He "didn't mean it like this" - what the fuck is that even supposed to mean. There's no possible way to misconstrue what he said, and it's not about shitty behaviour which he could work on overcoming with the help of therapy. Rather, it's about a fundamental attitude that's so misogynist you won't ever be able to build a good relationship on it. Hold onto your rage, and use it to help you build a better future for you and your boys.

Read your update OP.
Well done for being strong and telling him straight.

He has some hard work to do if he wants you to stay with him because at present, you deserve better.

She wasn’t eavesdropping. If he’s talking loudly you can’t help but hear.

Do not blame the woman for the man’s bad behaviour.

OP, tell him you overheard him discussing you with his mate as if you’re a sex object.

Tell him you feel betrayed and it’s given you the ick. Can you even have sex with him again given you know what he’s thinking about you ?

If he blames you then you have no option but to tell him he’s run to fat and a turn off.

Tell him he can “ invest” in a big boobs rubber doll.

Well done for telling him. Shame you've had to remind him that he should be your 'cheer leader' but let's see what HE does to rectify. Sit back and watch...I really hope its a positive change for you

Good for you OP.
I think you should move ahead as if you are separating.
Find good legal advice and gather paperwork together.
Start clearing out unnecessary stuff from the house for you and your children.
This isn't a good man.
He is upset for himself, not you.
You deserve so much better.
I don't believe he can change.
The level of disrespect he has for you, and disloyalty to you, can not be recovered from.
He isn't trustworthy.
When trust is broken it is over.
Focus on yourself completely.
He and this relationship isn't worth your energy any more.

I would ask him if he would be open to getting penile enhancement surgery. 😡

@HaveAWordWithYerselfWouldYa Losing weight doesn't involve money, surgery, recovery, check ups etc.

It could involve all of those 4, depending on the chosen method of weight loss.

It IS misogyny that women's bodies are subjected to trends, I agree.

I don't understand why you think me stating these trends exist makes me mysogonytistic? I don't agree with or perpetuate these trends.

But if you look even at plastic surgery numbers for different procedures - or the type of bodies glamoured throughout history - there are definite trends for different eras

I'd be so, so hurt and put off by this, and disgusted by any friend saying similar about their partner. Grim comments on so many levels.
You are clearly an accomplished, strong person and I'm sure your body looks great as well as having achieved amazing things by growing and feeding your children.
My DP is my biggest cheerleader (including about my body and small boobs, but in a million other ways too) and I think it's the bare minimum to ask of a partner. Life is hard and the last thing you need is the closest person to you sowing doubts or failing to give you a boost when you need it.
Are you having individual therapy as well as couples? Do you have trusted friends/family you could talk to, at least to get some cheerleading if you don't want to share the DH issue yet? It sounds like it goes beyond these comments and is worth seriously weighing up what he and the relationship add to your life.

Delightful misogyny.

With women with these attitudes who needs men.

I agree! It's so damaging to treat aspects of women's bodies like fashion trends that go in an out of favour. I was going to say it's an insidious shift toward expecting women to modify their bodies, rather than just using padding and corsetry to achieve certain silhouettes, because of ubiquitousness of plastic surgery, but there was the flapper aesthetic in the 1920s. I'm sure there are lots of other examples of women mutilating and modifying their bodies such as centuries of Chinese footbinding. Women have to stop perpetuating this toxic shit.

It's just a depressing fact that women's bodies go in and out of fashion - and worth reminding yourself of when you think your body doesn't fit the current beauty standard.

It's all fickle. The fact your body doesn't fit the standard means nothing, because that standard changes all the time. I think it brings you back down to earth to remember that, rather than thinking one body type is definitively thought of as more attractive than another. It always changes

Eg, 90s/00s = skinny and huge breasts were in, 10s = huge bums, 20s = smaller boobs

I think it's off to say small boobs are in too.

Ffs talking about women's bodies as fashion accessories and what's in and out.

Women are no better than men sometimes.

Good for you OP. You should be proud of your body and all it has achieved. I've watched my own Mum struggle with her confidence because of a man and I hope you never ever let him change how your feel about yourself.

There was nothing to catch. The man is talking about other men's wife's breast enlargement.