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Original poster

Is it rude to tell someone they look tired?

115 replies

Edasseri · 18/07/2024 16:39

As a casual comment. For example, you meet up with someone, say hi etc and then you tell them they look really tired

OP posts:
Screamingabdabz · 18/07/2024 17:03

I’ve said it to friends when we’ve been out in the week for a catch up but it’s late and clearly their bedtime and stifling yawns etc. I might say “come on, let’s ask for the bill and get off home, you look tired…” is that rude? I hope not. I only say it gently with the best intentions.

Letsgotitans · 18/07/2024 17:01

I don't see a problem in your response, I would never tell someone they look really tired, it is rude and a not so subtle way of saying you look crap. So good for you, hopefully he's learnt his lesson and won't say it again.

PerkyMintDeer · 18/07/2024 17:00

Very rude. Unless it’s a healthcare professional and there’s a reason for announcing this.

Why would anyone say this? What’s the response meant to be. If someone is tired the last thing they want to hear is, “yeah you look it”.

And saying it from a “place of concern” isn’t any better!

It is rude to negatively comment on someone’s appearance. End of.

Beth216 · 18/07/2024 16:58

He might have been rude but your sarky comment was far ruder so I'm sure you made your point and can move on now.

AllTheWatersTurnedToClouds · 18/07/2024 16:58

my uncle does this to my sister all the time - it's so rude. Yes she looks tired, because she fucking is. Two SEN kids, always a bit skint, and a terminally ill mother ffs.

jannier · 18/07/2024 16:55

If it is someone who knows you well and knows your life they may well be showing concern. Perhaps he was about to tell his son that he needed to do more to help you ....your reply was really rude.

grywknd · 18/07/2024 16:50

Yes, it’s rude. And annoying.

Justcallmebebes · 18/07/2024 16:48

LuckyOnes · 18/07/2024 16:41

Yes. Context is all.

Show quote history

This. It can be said in a caring way to someone you know well. I wouldn't dream of saying it to an acquaintance but would to someone I cared about, if indeed they did look tired

Original poster
Edasseri · 18/07/2024 16:45

My boyfriends dad told me I look tired twice yesterday and I got annoyed and offended. DP thinks it’s nothing to be annoyed about but I just think it’s plain rude. Especially because I felt absolutely fine, wasn’t tired, and he told me “I’ve never seen you look so tired” I sarcastically said “thank you, you also look like shit” and he just laughed. But then DP said I need to chill out

OP posts:
GalileoHumpkins · 18/07/2024 16:44

Of course it is, it's a negative comment about someone's appearance.

CreationNat1on · 18/07/2024 16:42

Negging, yes rude. What is the purpose of the comment?

Wumblewimble · 18/07/2024 16:41

Sounds like negging, very rude

LuckyOnes · 18/07/2024 16:41

TimeForTeaAndG · 18/07/2024 16:40

Depends on the relationship, ranges from mildly concerned with no malice intended to extremely rude.

Yes. Context is all.

summeroccupation · 18/07/2024 16:40

Why would you? If they're tired they know it and commenting on it seems pointless? Unless you're offering a coffee? 😂

TimeForTeaAndG · 18/07/2024 16:40

Depends on the relationship, ranges from mildly concerned with no malice intended to extremely rude.

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