to want to pay off the mortgage instead?

This is your life, not theirs. Pay your mortgage off. It’s what you want.

With your mortgage paid off, you could save enough yourself to pay the school fees if we are talking secondary. So much can happen during those years, you could move house, have major changes to your family’s needs etc. They don’t say ‘safe as houses’ for no reason.

It just gives you so much more freedom for the future.

If you wanted to, you could also use some of the money for the mortgage, say 60k, and invest the 40k, so that you have both options available.

Do you actually care about private school? Or is that what your parents want? Is it a good private school that’s actually worth the money?

Maybe speak to a financial advisor? You’re not in a big rush to go either way, are you?

Well, it’s not a gift then, it is? If they wanted to spend £100k on school fees then why on earth didn’t they just offer to pay the school fees? Can you not just tell them you’ve changed your mind and are going to spend it on school fees and then pay off the mortgage instead? Then you can decide what is best for your DD further down the line when the time comes to make those choices?

Maslow’s hierarchy of needs.

in the uk, estate schools are very good. You only need a private education in very very specific circumstances.

Sorry if this has been mentioned but what about an offset mortgage? So you have a savings account linked to the mortgage - whatever is in the savings account you don’t pay mortgage interest. So you could put the 100k in the savings part but only pay interest on the £108k. Then you have flexibility to use the 100k if you need/want to?

From the OP it seems clear the money was given THEN the parents were ‘disappointed’ in OP’s choice. = classic controlling and not adult to adult.

if the op pays off her mortgage and saves for the school fees (or whatever- long way to go yet’) then everyone is happy. (Ish)

That’s a very difficult one. State secondaries can be awful, even the ‘good ones’ (I’m thinking about ones near me). It may be and has a very difficult time there and if the private school is a lot nicer, it could make her life a lot better. Or if you never really considered private then that’s fine and you just live with the state secondary and have a better standard of living. How long until she starts? Have you looked at them all to check? Will there be longterm resentment with your choice?

It's bloody stupid of them to gift money for a purpose, without specifying the purpose at the time. Their approach comes accross as quite controlling.

do people not read, she’s already said she can afford the school fees if she wishes, she doesn’t wish.

If you pay a chunk off your mortgage you may have sufficient income to pay school fees as well, particularly for secondary. If you spend the money on school fees will you be disciplined enough to make extra payments towards your mortgage to pay it off early?

To me there is nothing like being mortgage free, it's one of the best feelings in the world, knowing that no one can take the roof from over your head, so I would pay down the mortgage as much as I possibly could. If you are financially able to pay for your child's education anyway, what real difference does it make? Pay down the mortgage now, and enjoy knowing that you've saved a fortune on interest.

You'll save a lot more money by paying off a big chunk of the mortgage and thus avoiding interest than you will in a savings account, so whether or not you choose private secondary education it's a better use of money to put it towards the mortgage.

They have no idea what your DD is going to be like at 11, private school might be her worst nightmare.

Do you not think if this came as a massive surprise she’d have said, cmon now.

OP needs to confirm that. She just referred to a further conversation about their presumption of her using it.

unless you can comfortably fund independent education on your salary it’s not worth the stress

why not say you will use to to fund her university fees instead?

I think i have made similar noises on repeated occasions already. The issue is did they make it clear before they gifted the OP the money.

Clearly before. Irrelevant of what she says now. If it was after she’d be all,over that.

I think there's a kind of certainty in paying off a chunk of the mortgage, it is crystal clear and incontrovertible in terms of what it will do for your finances, security etc. Paying for private education carries no such certainties- your child could hate it, she might not get anything out of it beyond what she would get in state education, she might even be worse off (I've a friend who actually regrets the money spent on private education, she feels its turned her children into somewhat entitled brats). So on balance, I would certainly pay off the mortgage earlier but maybe try and save at least a chunk of that additional income every month so youll have choices when the time comes for your daughter to go to secondary. I also got a similar amount from my parents. I'm in rural reland so private school just isnt really an option but I chose to pay off my mortgage and then save for the children's college education from salary. As with the private school, they may never go but I have the feeling of security of owning my own home. That's good for all of us.

Will you enjoy it op. You said that’s why you did it. So you could enjoy yourself, will you enjoy it knowing you’re spending your kids education money ?

Did they say the money was for your childs education BEFORE or after gifting you £100k

They could have just paid the school fees every month. I think I would choose smaller mortgage over private school. Perhaps compromise and consider private school for secondary if you can afford to? As smaller classes and different opportunities.

I’d be very disappointed if I gifted 100k for schooling and my child used it for their mortgage so they could enjoy themselves and stated in a Blase manner the schools here are not very good. I’d be furious/

I'd pay off the (ideally offset) mortgage and build up savings over the next X years until secondary age so I could pay for private education then if I still wanted to.

For those saying OP should do this or do that, have a think on. If i handed over a large chunk of money, intended for a specific purpose and it was used for something else....... i may just decide that is the end of giving any further financial support. As i have repeatedly said, its down to what the GP communicated to the OP.

How would the OP feel if the GP just changed their will to give everything to their GD as they may feel GC is being short changed in all of this and OP cant be trusted to ensure the childs best interests.

If they have enough money to gift £100k the final inheritance is going to be much much more.

Pay the mortgage now and put the money you save on repayments away towards private school when DD gets to secondary. Then you can see what the right decision is at the time.

As I always trot out in these situations have a look at an offset mortgage. £100K offset against your interest will bring the end term date down and you will still have the original £100K, or pay £50K off and still do an offset mortgage

No I'm not a mortgage broker, but has worked very well for us