to want to pay off the mortgage instead?

well, it depends which school of course but £100K is plenty to cover a good school around mine. And that would leave extra ro pay some of the mortgage.

Really ?
14 years of schooling, plus expensive uniforms, and other expenses ?

I am no expert but I don't think the £7,143 a year will cover that.
Fees alone seem to be double that, not counting the more expensive schools.

Hi :)

well, it depends which school of course but £100K is plenty to cover a good school around mine. And that would leave extra ro pay some of the mortgage.

private school can have some schemes if your income falls short. You also have bursaries. In any of this scenarios, it is best to spend money on securing a good education if the state school isn’t good.

i would calculate from which year I can affird this and make plans.

but again, that is my opinion only :) as requested. I hope op and dd will just be happy and stressfree anyhow 🌺👏🏼

But they have given her money that won't cover the full cost. What if OP loses her job? What if she can't pay the extra needed? She uses up the £100k then pulls her out into state school? That's worse than being in that school from the start. At least if she pays off mortgage she can try be mortgage free so should she have a good job she can afford private school or extra tuition and curriculars in state school under her own steam with a secure home she has saved tens of thousands of interest on.

I am on your parents side, pay the best school for your DD.

but then again, it is really inly you that know what is best.

good luck :)

Pay down the mortgage, free yourself up financially which has all sorts of benefits around it.

as someone who went to state school, but was friends with many from the highly regarded private school I can tell you I have done just as well in life, if not better than many, of those that I know from back then! I am of the firm belief that if a child wants to learn they will learn no matter where they are.

That being said, securing your financial future by paying down the mortgage will open far more options, including extra curricular options. To be frank, after the week I’ve had nobody knows what’s around the corner. I would always be paying down the mortgage!

as for the grandparents, if they wanted that money used for something specific like school fees then they should have said ‘we will pay DDs school fees to the value of £100k’, not given the money freely.

This seems like sensible advice. I received an inheritance in 2008 and the first thing I did was to pay off my mortgage.

I would pay it into my mortgage especially if you have a mortgage offset account or a mortgage with redraw facility then the money you inherited is used efficiently and you can tell your parents the money is there for DD schooling?
The money you save in interest and a lower mortgage could go to savings for DD or at least tell parents that. I think there are savings vehicles especially for education also that are tax efficient. I was told about this by a friend.

I’m already hanging on by a thread trying to balance everything. I don’t know if I will be in a lesser paid job in future, who knows. I feel really sad today, I can’t do anything right.

You should not feel sad. You 100% have made a really, really sensible decision and given yourself financial security and choices for the future. You should be proud of your choice.

Our local private school is approx £64k for years 1-13. You could pay some off the mortgage and leave the rest for tuition.

If you can afford the tuition fees anyway as you say them just pay the mortgage off and say you're using the money for tuition. Swings and roundabouts.

It’s your money, to do what you want with it. So no, I don’t think YABU.

I wouldn’t pay the mortgage off though. It’s a fixed relatively low interest outlay. I’d have spoken to a financial adviser about saving/investing. You’d earn more interest than you are paying on your mortgage.

Spot on

I'd offer to give it back to them.
I couldn't be doing with their disappointment hanging over me. All that well of course it's your choice, silly us assuming you'd want the best for your child... Guilt tripping bullshit would affect my relationship with them.

Mortgage free you will be able to afford for her to live while at university with very little debt which would be a good start. In about 13 years when she’d be due to go - also giving her a good start. Either way it benefits your family and not just you. Clubs, tutors, experiences, more kids if that. was the plan for you - the money saved enables you to afford more of those things in the meantime.

Your parents have done a big number on you, turned you into a people pleaser. Makes you wonder if that's why you chose your ex?

You need confidence in your choices and decisions.

£100k is not enough for private secondary unless you can invest and add to it which you can't! Reducing your mortgage will save you more than what you could save and is the most prudent way forward.

Sorry if I'm not fully understand how these things work but why not use half for schooling and pay the 10% extra as an overpayment you can pay for your mortgage per year and do that for the next 5 years for example then both parents and yourself would be happy. The overpayment might make more sense financially because any overpayments are directly towards the mortgage rather than the interest.

Everyone nowadays lives off credit. I agree with you. Extracurriculars, holidays and different experiences are more important. Nowadays going to private doesn't automatically give you advantage when you apply to university. You are sensible op!

I think mortgage. If she's bright she'll do well without private school. If she isn't then maybe get some tutoring. I am a little anti private school though. The mortgage being repaid sooner will give you more financial freedom

Pay off the mortgage and save for uni.

In your position I'd pay off the mortgage

Spot on. Get that mortgage down. It means financial freedom in a few years. Then with the money you save u can pay for private secondary if you want. I wouldn't waste the money on a private primary school. There are lots of good state primaries.
With inflation the money value will shrink in the bank. The money in the house will more than hold it's value and grow.
I would absolutely do what you did.

Pay off the mortgage. When secondary school comes round, assess where you are and add it to the mortgage again at that point if it feels right.

A 20 year mortgage at 5% doubles what you pay back so 400k not 200k, using this 100k to pay off your mortgage essentially doubles its value. Even more so if you pay a lot more down in the next 5 years. I think you’re being really sensible.

Even were I not pathologically opposed to private education (I am), I would still be advocating using it to pay down the mortgage. Pity your parents didn’t make that clear from the outset

Your child will be happier in a state school with a secure roof over her head than at private school where her mum is stressed and struggling to pay the fees, likely in excess of the 100K gifted, and the mortgage. Rates are variable. We've seen that recently. Do what puts you in a better position now, so you may be able to afford it in future.