help me live a lovely single life

I’ve had this week off work. I’ve got a few jobs done, had lunch with a friend yesterday & seeing another one tomorrow, been to the gym, tried a couple of new recipes & done a lot of lying around the flat with the cats. It’s been lovely.

And yes, solo holidays are fabulous!

I’ve just got back from a solo camping trip. I visited places I found interesting, ate what I liked, sat outside and read my book for ages with a glass or two of wine and returned home to a lovely and tidy flat which was exactly how I left it.

I’m meeting friends for dinner tonight then am going to the cinema on my own tomorrow evening and will probably have dinner out again.

The weekend will be spent pottering around doing whatever I please. I love the single life.

It would never be nice having a partner who sits and watches you do house jobs! I think you might be underestimating all the lovely partners out there who share the load equally and treat their partner with respect!

On a practical note attend DIY/woodworking courses at a local college if possible. There is something freeing about being able to go your own odd jobs and home improvements. Total satisfaction of being self reliant and not worrying about being ripped off by tradesmen! Made my single life far more fun and pleasant. I'm also a dab hand at decorating.

The only person you spend the WHOLE of your life with is you. Make sure it's in love with you.

embrace spontaneity

when you are doing things by yourself, there is no need to plan it around someone else's schedule

go out for dinner, go on solo trips or anything else you enjoy... stop worrying about what other people think

My advice would be, to feel the fear and do it anyway. To travel, if anywhere interests you. To gradually build boundaries and filter out people who aren't a net positive in your life. To self-care in any capacity without feeling even so much as a hint of feeling selfish! To fill the freezer with batch cooked healthy stuff so you're free to be flexible in daily life.

I'd also have a sensible pet for companionship, although they can also tie you down when it comes to travelling etc. And do as I please regarding appearance, food habits, sleep habits.. (I'm single and I already do a lot of these).

You can become your own best friend/partner. No more feeling like you're not as interesting/important as their phone, their friends, their other activities. You can do what's right for you and being super kind to yourself (i.e. do what you like, when you like!). I find single life much more spontaneous and exciting than being in a relationship. I never let myself down and I always buy myself fabulous gifts!

Definitely a pet if that appeals. I have 2 cats and at the weekends when we're all lounging on my (our) bed, I think to myself no way would I swap them for a man 😂They fulfil the part of me that would otherwise miss some kind of affection.

No one either making mess or being obsessively tidy. I'm generally tidy but can equally say things like sod the dishes, I'll do them tomorrow. So I'd need someone on the same wavelength which I don't think is easy. As pp's have said, eating what I want, when I want.

I like that any effort I do make on my clothing or hair etc is just for me, especially as I am quite low effort! I'm not trying to impress or keep a man interested.

And yes to the freedom of being able to do what you want, with no one else to consider.

I'm in my 50s and I realised that what I wanted (originally) at this stage of my life was to be with someone I'd already been married to for 20 years or so. Where we're already comfortable with each other. Where we've built a life together and have had shared goals and have a similar vision of the future. I don't want a "boyfriend" who I share no history with, who I don't know anything about. I don't find dating "fun", I find it soul destroying quite honestly, especially OLD. I'm not 100% closed off to meeting someone, but I won't be looking and they'd have to be pretty bloody special to make me want to give up all the positives of being single.

The local council gym ours is filled with retired ladies and they have a social group and hog all the places in yoga and Pilates 😅

also get regular massages 😍 the thing I miss most about being single and having spare time

To be perfectly honest, there's a part of me that misses my perpetually single life. Just being responsible for me myself and I. I'd focus on doing anything and everything you want to do, when you want to do it.

I've specifically requested the Gods of Fate to do nothing under any circs that would change my single status 🙂

Tips for serenity include having small furry pets, watching videos of other middle aged women who keep unfeasibly large numbers of said pets, making a shortlist of your passions and interests and doing all or most of them.

It's fab.

Not having to share a bathroom was a revelation which I would find very difficult to walk back from!

I'm autistic and this has affected me more and more as I've aged. Realising that you don't have to comply with societal norms is fantastic having spent a lifetime feeling guilty for preferring my own company, dining out or going to the cinema solo and having a small circle of friends.

I am much happier now than I have ever been in a relationship. Sure, if the right person happened to appear I might reassess but I'm certainly not looking for it and past experiences have left me with serious trust issues.

The other one I use is........

If it enhances my life, Keep. If it doesn't. Let go.

Taking a small hint from your user name, enjoy the fact that there is no-one to tell you that you need to buy more yarn. And you can spend as long as you want crocheting!

I am in my 50’s and single after divorcing and a failed relationship after, I finally came to the conclusion that we are conditioned to think that we need to be part of a couple and that conditioning his hard to escape from, I realised that men had not added much value in my life.

Since becoming single about 4 years ago I have.

Joined a gym
lost 2 Stone
Joined a walking club - great for fitness and the outdoors.
Learnt how to paddle board
Got myself a lovely dog who gives me all the cuddles I need!
changed my career
bought a house on my own and decorated it exactly how I wanted it.
Been on holidays with other solo travellers.
Joined a singing group
Joined a Theatre group.

London is a good starting point for solo holidays as so much to see and do. I book an air bnb apartment for a week and then go wandering around galleries etc.

The only thing I do still find a little uncomfortable is eating out on my own - Not sure why.

Dont miss having a man around at all. Not had sex for 4 years now and don’t miss it at all. Wouldn’t be bothered if I never have it again!

Total freedom. I got divorced 10 years ago & fully intend on staying single for life.

I WFH, so I make sure I get out & see people every day - gym before work some mornings, yoga one evening a week, Italian class another evening & fostering for the local cat rescue, which means I’ve nearly always got furry lodgers.

I’m working my way through a new veggie cookbook at weekends & freezing the extra portions, which means I usually have healthy, interesting food to eat & also have a decent repertoire for when I host friends.

There will always be some idiots who say they’re sorry for you because they don’t have the imagination to see that being single can be a positive thing. Ignore them.