help me live a lovely single life

Just place marking to read and comment later.

Tell me about your solo camping please ?

was it wild camping or planned sites .
did you camp cook to go to pubs ?

Id love to do this

You don’t have to deamonise relationships to make being single something to be happy about (and if you do maybe it’s not so great after all).

I buy myself flowers, really nice products, stay in really lovely hotels every 12 weeks for a weekend in the UK, have massages, have two hobbies, one indoor and one outdoor so I have something to do whatever the time of year, both sociable.

I’ve been alone since my divorce eight years ago. Have never been interested in finding another relationship. I’ve had my house decorated as I want it, garden landscaped how I want it.

I buy myself something nice most months, dress, earrings, something from an art gallery locally.

Beautiful bedsheets (always had these but they now remain pristine), TV in my bedroom 😱 which would have been frowned on, I probably watch it once a month if that but bought it when I was really unwell for a few months and I love the fact that its there if I want to watch something in bed.

Eat tons of fish and whatever I like.

I could do with being a bit more sociable I guess, but I quite like a quiet night in/often feel peopled out at the end of the working week. I tend to see one of my three really good mates once a week which is ok.

Am thinking of getting half an allotment about 500 yards from my house to grow flowers only on, I expect that to be a bit sociable.

I always buy myself really nice things for Christmas and my birthday and have them wrapped.

I can’t ever imagine meeting anyone that I think is worth changing my single status for.

I had a recent solo holiday where I did exactly what I pleased. Jetlag really hit me but instead of fighting it I embraced being awake at 0345 and watching the sunrise/city wake up from my hotel window, one morning I went down to the river to watch it. I got out of bed when I wanted, got back into bed when I wanted. Sacked off dinners out because of the jetlag and ate whenever I felt like it. Went wherever I wanted, didn't go wherever I didn't want to go. Went to museums, parks, shops, a show. I'm not putting it into words well but just that small act of not lying there trying to get back to sleep at 4am for fear of disturbing someone else... it was great. Lean into that.

For gifts I reckon you can do it a few ways. Either buy yourself stuff well in advance and wrap it as soon as you've bought it so your memory is a little hazy by the time the day comes round, or choose a shortlist and ask a friend to pick from it using your credit card. Or spend say Christmas eve on a fabulously indulgent shopping trip buying your treats and enjoying them straight away.

I was younger than you but hopefully still relevant, I bought myself flowers, really beautiful ones from the florist every single week. I would look at them all week in pride of place, and feel valued and cared for, a reminder I did not need a man to do this for me.

I made the most wonderful bed, and would surround it with brilliant books that I could read for hours/days uninterrupted if I wanted to.

My meal times were spontaneous and not fixed, and occasionally I had dinner for one in the restaurant with a cocktail. I find Italian restaurants are so welcoming of single women 😉

Getting a dog was a game changer and kind of filled that coming home space for me. We became a double act and she was my best friend.

I threw a party for my girlfriends regularly. I had plenty of time to plan and organise them, so I did. If you want to expand your circles and you may not, but if you do always add a plus one to meet new people. It is so simple and easy.

I always planned Christmas, birthdays, Easter and bank holidays well in advance. Hopefully you have a loving family but if you don't, get on the front foot and always plan ahead so you are not bereft when everyone else is celebrating and you are not.

Embrace your new relationship - the most important one you will ever have, the one you have with yourself.

I love being single. I hardly ever shave, I basically do what I want. No one else there to annoy me or stress me out, no abuse.

I've been unsuccessful in finding someone who meets up to my (realistic) standards. So I've decided to be my own love of my life. This has washed over me a great sense of peace and contentment.

Explore what brings you pleasure in the quieter periods - a lot of 'best single life' stuff is understandably predicated on the freedom to travel, learn pottery, fight a bear etc, but I think some of the best times can come when you have time alone. For example - I'm currently sitting with my cat and a very good book, cooking the delicious dinner I want to eat, in the house I've decorated to my own designs; I may go to the cinema later, I may not; I have lovely plans for the coming weeks (including, yes, dates); but this moment of having everything as I want it now, for me, is so delicious.

Hoping to be in this position in the future and loving all your inspirational posts.

OP so many great ideas. Get a note pad and write them in it and enjoy ticking off your favourite things as you do them.

Just make sure you have a very full life, in which dating if it happens would only ever be a part.

Contribute regularly and actively to something you care about - a charity, eco or political organisation.
See different circles of friends and make new ones. Make sure you socialise a couple of times a week with them, whether it's having mates over for Sunday lunch or going on a hike or out to a show.
Ensure you have regular and really enjoyable fitness every week, and one other hobby or interest group every week.
Make a massive bucket list of things big and small that you have always wanted to do and start doing them. At very least one a month.
If you have a spiritual side, take time to find the right place to worship where you really feel you belong. If not, do something active in nature ponce a week - something that lifts us beyond the human to the bigger picture.

In all the 10 years I was with my ex, I think I hardly ever really relaxed.

Now I do.

Thank goodness for this thread!

I recently ended a short term relationship because I just felt stifled. I didn’t want to “stay the night” (in sheets that weren’t mine), didn’t want to holiday with someone (and fit in with their idea of what a good holiday was). I wanted to do what I wanted to do, not have to endlessly be what was expected of me.

Ive had a long marriage, and then a long term relationship that ended horribly. Now all I want is peace and a simple life.

Still have one DC at home so maybe I will think differently when they leave home, but I think I’m done with men and their weird ways.

Will be reading this list for inspiration as I have no single friends to show me the way!!

Hey @crochetmonkey74 ..... Fantastic thread.... Following, and will be reading this thread several times! Love the motto - make a life where you don't need a vacation!

I have a great life, job, money, pet, hobbies, friends..... But old is shit 😊

But I still get lonely at times, and I miss having a partner... I do wonder if that feeling will ever go, as I've more or less given up on finding someone special

Anyway, just pondering x

But I also think if you find the right person, you don't have to do any of the above

It's not about the "right" person. People who say this are missing the point.
No one is perfect. There will always be compromises that need to be made, however small. There will always be times when one partner annoys another, however rare. It's life and we're all only human.

My aunt and uncle in their 70s have what I consider to be a great relationship. They met at Uni, have tons in common, always on the same page re major life stuff. Share everything, finances, chores, child rearing, grandparent duties etc. They have holidays together and apart, shared hobbies and their own hobbies. They've always had a great life. They still really piss each other sometimes! They still consult each other on any major decision. Sure they might agree, but they still need to do it. My uncle sadly had a major illness not long ago and my aunt is now his carer. She of course does it, because they have a 50+ year relationship behind them, but it's still hard.

The true joy of being single is not having to deal with even 1% of the negatives. Sure we miss out on the positives, but that's IF we could even find that person that would make it worth it. There comes a point for some people (me being one of them) where virtually no amount of positives are going to make up for the negative. I'm just not interested.

I have grown up DC, enough money that I'm not struggling in any way, a nice home, I'm not lonely, I'm not bored, don't even really miss sex any more. So I'm not sure why I would bother. I'm also mid 50s so realistically, you're talking men of around 60. No thank you!

I do feel lonely sometimes but dating /hoping to meet somebody made me miserable

I don’t think the OP will find this helpful.

She’s asked people to tell her about the benefits of being single, in order to help her embrace it. Not for people to tell her what’s good about their relationships.

Feel free to contradict me @crochetmonkey74….

This sounds lovely and I'm happy for him to pay all my bills too. There are so many other things I'd like to do with my money 😊

Buy yourself flowers/plants/beautiful things (however you define that). You deserve to live in a place you love

Everyone is different and you can only do you.

For me it was simplifying my life, letting go of material desires and attachments. Unlearning the programming, conditioning and concepts of societal norms and expectations.

Sit in silence for a while OP and inspiration will come to you.

@OP - I think the beauty of a single life is the freedom that it brings. You can make a life that is filled with all the things that bring you joy. There are no expectations or compromises except for the ones imposed by money I suppose.

I'd start by making several lists.

1. Everything I enjoy doing on a daily basis - reading, painting, long walks, cooking/baking, spending time with friends, eating out, going to the theatre or museums etc. I'd make sure I do at least one of these things daily or several on a weekly basis so I always have something to look forward to.
2. The big things that I'd like to experience at least once - if you regularly go to the theatre, maybe you want to see a production of Phantom of the Opera on Broadway, dinner at a fancy Michelin-star restaurant, These are more occasional things that you may do only once or twice a year but they're something to look forward to and work towards.
3. The places that you enjoy being usually - your local park or a special coffee shop, a nearby town/City, the Lake district, the seaside etc. And I'd try to go to these places as often as feasible. At least weekly/monthly.
4. The once-in-a-lifetime places - For eg, I really want to go to Japan. And I will but it's a long-term goal due to the costs. So keep a list of these places and make an aim to go somewhere you always wanted to maybe every 3-5 years? In the meantime, continue going to all the places you love that are nearby (see list above)
5. And finally, I'd make a development list. More of a medium-term thing but try to develop yourself on a personal level. These are the things that might not always been fun but that you've always wanted to do. Learn a new language, learn a new sport, lose weight/get fitter, learn a new skill. It may not be as enjoyable as the hobbies listed in List 1 and you may be required to join a class or impose some structure in your routine but at any given time, I think it's good to be learning/doing at least one new thing that will make you a better, happier person.

I totally get your point and I think what you wrote rings true for many women in relationships with inconsiderate men.

But I also think if you find the right person, you don't have to do any of the above. DH and I have been together 12 years and I've never had any of the above imposed on me...except for the snoring sometimes 😅

I’m 46 and just the other day this is what I decided I want as a perfect relationship!

monogamous relationship where we never live together

go out for dinner or similar once a week/every couple of weeks

nice holidays

affection

never stay overnight (yuck can’t imagine a sweaty man sleeping next to me overnight)

pay half my household bills 🤣🤣🤣

what are the chances do you reckon 🤣