Page 6 | To be annoyed that I get glared at for having a blue badge

Sparklebelle1024 · 2024-07-17T18:34:39+00:00

I try not to let it bother me but I’m young ( 35) and I have a blue badge because I have a few health problems which put me into the category of disabled and entitle me to pip and a blue badge. I do work (only part time as that’s a struggle but I do it for my own mental health but I think even that might have to go soon but I’m trying to last as long as I can) and almost every time I pull my car into the disabled spaces I get dirty looks and “badge checked” by the older generation and it’s ALWAYS older people !! It’s like younger folk can’t have disabilities!! Yet I can literally go from being okayish one day to hospitalised the next (I have a very understanding manager) and my car is a lifeline. I do try to brush it off but today I had a run in with an older man and he asked to see the photo on my badge to prove it was mine, I obviously told him he’s not entitled to that information and it’s not an elderly badge it’s a disabled badge and I cried when I was driving home. it’s not fair…. I’m sick of being judged because I’m not “old” and don’t “look disabled” whatever that should look like. I know it shouldn’t bother me but it really genuinely does. So AIBU to be annoyed at being judged by the older generation because I use a badge I’m legally entitled to??

TellMeWhoTheVillainsAre · 18/07/2024 11:46

CassandraWebb · 18/07/2024 11:35

If someone is going to ignore the rules and park in the disabled space without a badge then I doubt the questioning of some random will make the slightest difference

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A certain percentage won't ever care. But a certain percentage of people will chance something if they think they'll get away with it. If they think there's a chance of being confronted or called out they don't risk it.

But calling fjr everybody to keep their noses out will mean that percentage of people will likely chance it in the belief that "I'm just nipping in for 5 mins".

Katiesaidthat · 18/07/2024 11:44

Needmorelego · 17/07/2024 19:37

Unless it's a traffic warden or similar just tell them firmly "it's none of your business" and ignore ignore ignore 🙂

I was just about to say exactly this. Ignore, ignore and ignore again...

samedifferent · 18/07/2024 11:42

Yes, many blue badge holders are not visibly disabled. However the vast majority of people who do not appear disabled are indeed not disabled. So it is perfectly fine to ask someone who does not appear disabled whether they have a blue badge, as long as it is done politely.

This really isn't okay.

It is also pointless, I didn't have a disability, the dc I was traveling with did. I wasn't going to discuss a client's health with a random stranger.

Asking intrusive personal questions on health and disability isn't okay just because you do it politely. You can see the impact it has on people reading this thread.

TimeandMotion · 18/07/2024 11:38

CassandraWebb · 18/07/2024 11:37

You leave them be . They might look able bodied but they could be very ill. I can be on the verge of needing another ICU admission and not "look" any different

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So you’ll have a badge then.

TimeandMotion · 18/07/2024 11:37

Petitchat · 18/07/2024 11:34

Everyone should keep their noses out.
Able bodied or otherwise

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“Keep your nose out” is an expression meaning don’t get involved in something that doesn’t affect you.

If a disabled person is unable to use a space because it is occupied by a person with no entitlement to it they are very much affected by this. If some of you want to be doormats and enable the misusers, you are making things worse for your fellow badge holders.

CassandraWebb · 18/07/2024 11:37

TimeandMotion · 18/07/2024 11:11

How many times do I have to explain this.

Parking space is perpendicular to the road. You drive up to the car, your nose is where the boot of the parked car is. You see someone get out. You cannot see their windscreen from where you are. They look able bodied. You roll down your window and say “excuse me, do you realise that’s a BB space?”. They say “yes, I have a Blue badge” and you drive off to wait elsewhere til a BB comes free, or something along the lines of “”I’m just nipping in” at which point you explain that you have a BB and they either apologise and move or tell you to fuck off.

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You leave them be . They might look able bodied but they could be very ill. I can be on the verge of needing another ICU admission and not "look" any different

CassandraWebb · 18/07/2024 11:35

TellMeWhoTheVillainsAre · 18/07/2024 11:31

I should be ashamed of myself??? Really?? For what?

Just for the record I have NEVER ever questioned anyone parking anywhere. Ever. As I mentioned I have a BB friend. 9/10 when we park in a BB space someone will take a moment to slow down to see us getting out of the car, to check the dashboard etc. Again I stress we both see this is a positive thing. Because I'd be fairly certain if we parked in a BB spot without displaying a BB we'd be reported. And rightly so.

I'd love if all the people who do look and question simply stopped and minded their own business like so many here think they should. People would quickly find out how available BB spaces are then when everybody turns a blind eye to everyone and anyone parking in them.

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If someone is going to ignore the rules and park in the disabled space without a badge then I doubt the questioning of some random will make the slightest difference

pinkyredrose · 18/07/2024 11:35

People care that these spaces are only used by those deserving of them, they have your interest at heart. Why not just show them you are justified to use the space and be grateful some people care?

Hahahahahahahaha!!!!

ibelieveshereallyistgedevil · 18/07/2024 11:35

TimeandMotion · 18/07/2024 11:27

Also, in what world is a disabled person who needs the space a “busybody”?

For the avoidance of doubt, I’ve never taken any interest in blue badge parking myself and I certainly would not challenge anyone. I was just explaining what my disabled brother told me about his experience with abuse of spaces, in order to illustrate that it’s unsurprising that problem get challenged because the abusers have created a climate of distrust.

If you don’t have a need yourself for the space perhaps you feel that giving people the benefit of the doubt is fine. But if you need the space you might not be so worried about potentially mistaking a disabled person for an able-bodied one.

I agree that able bodied people should keep their noses out.

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I’m a disabled, chronically ill wheelchair user, with a young disabled child to also transport (he is also entitled to a bb)- I need a bb space. Visibly so.

I also know

a) not all disabilities are visible

b) it isn’t ok to question, upset, hold up, interfere with or harass other disabled people in any way just because they have taken a parking space I would like for myself.

Does it annoy me to drive past cars in bb spaces without a badge displayed? Yes.

Does that mean that next time I see someone ‘not looking disabled’ I go and question them on their right to park there? No it absolutely does not.

Petitchat · 18/07/2024 11:34

TimeandMotion · 18/07/2024 11:27

Also, in what world is a disabled person who needs the space a “busybody”?

For the avoidance of doubt, I’ve never taken any interest in blue badge parking myself and I certainly would not challenge anyone. I was just explaining what my disabled brother told me about his experience with abuse of spaces, in order to illustrate that it’s unsurprising that problem get challenged because the abusers have created a climate of distrust.

If you don’t have a need yourself for the space perhaps you feel that giving people the benefit of the doubt is fine. But if you need the space you might not be so worried about potentially mistaking a disabled person for an able-bodied one.

I agree that able bodied people should keep their noses out.

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Everyone should keep their noses out.
Able bodied or otherwise

TimeandMotion · 18/07/2024 11:34

TomeTome · 18/07/2024 11:29

If you don’t have a need yourself for the space perhaps you feel that giving people the benefit of the doubt is fine. But if you need the space you might not be so worried about potentially mistaking a disabled person for an able-bodied one. but the people telling you it’s not ok DO have a need and are annoyed at your brothers behaviour.

I don’t think they are actually.

Most people are saying that a person should not be questioned if you can see their blue badge. That is not what my brother is doing.

TellMeWhoTheVillainsAre · 18/07/2024 11:31

Petitchat · 18/07/2024 11:18

If you are entitled to park there then there's no problem.

Yes there is !!
You should be ashamed of yourself.

You could be questioning someone who has:
Anxiety.
Autism.
Severe breathlessness.
Extreme fatigue.
Phobia of talking.
Fear of any confrontation.
Any kind of mental ill health.
Etc...

You questioning them could make them ill for the rest of the day.
You could be putting them off for future outings.

Stoo being so selfish and inconsiderate, bugger off and mind your own fucking business !!

If anyone ever questions me, I won't even answer. Why the hell should I?

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I should be ashamed of myself??? Really?? For what?

Just for the record I have NEVER ever questioned anyone parking anywhere. Ever. As I mentioned I have a BB friend. 9/10 when we park in a BB space someone will take a moment to slow down to see us getting out of the car, to check the dashboard etc. Again I stress we both see this is a positive thing. Because I'd be fairly certain if we parked in a BB spot without displaying a BB we'd be reported. And rightly so.

I'd love if all the people who do look and question simply stopped and minded their own business like so many here think they should. People would quickly find out how available BB spaces are then when everybody turns a blind eye to everyone and anyone parking in them.

Persiancouscous · 18/07/2024 11:31

When someone says to me but you don't look disabled, I simply say back and you don't look stupid but I guess we are nothing wrong.

TomeTome · 18/07/2024 11:29

If you don’t have a need yourself for the space perhaps you feel that giving people the benefit of the doubt is fine. But if you need the space you might not be so worried about potentially mistaking a disabled person for an able-bodied one. but the people telling you it’s not ok DO have a need and are annoyed at your brothers behaviour.

TimeandMotion · 18/07/2024 11:29

ibelieveshereallyistgedevil · 18/07/2024 11:20

If you are asking disabled people to prove they have a bb in ANY way beyond having it displayed on the dashboard then you are harassing disabled people.

I do not answer to you.

If you want to know if I have a badge then look at my dashboard.

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Why are you not understanding that my brother can’t see your dashboard?

TomeTome · 18/07/2024 11:28

TimeandMotion · 18/07/2024 10:59

You absolutely do have the right to question someone if you think they might be parking in a BB space without a badge. Even more so if you are someone who needs the space.

Edited

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What “right” is that and what enhanced “right” is it for disabled people?

CassandraWebb · 18/07/2024 11:27

ibelieveshereallyistgedevil · 18/07/2024 11:26

It is annoying to be stared at through the windscreen repeatedly, but preferable to being harangued when trying to transfer in and out of the car.

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She's right to be annoyed. People are looking because they think she "doesn't look disabled". Which is deeply ignorant.

TimeandMotion · 18/07/2024 11:27

ibelieveshereallyistgedevil · 18/07/2024 11:02

No.

Use your eyes and look for the bb if you must be a busybody- if you asked me you would be told in no uncertain terms where to go. You have no entitlement to anyone’s medical information and it’s frankly laughable that you think you do.

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Also, in what world is a disabled person who needs the space a “busybody”?

For the avoidance of doubt, I’ve never taken any interest in blue badge parking myself and I certainly would not challenge anyone. I was just explaining what my disabled brother told me about his experience with abuse of spaces, in order to illustrate that it’s unsurprising that problem get challenged because the abusers have created a climate of distrust.

If you don’t have a need yourself for the space perhaps you feel that giving people the benefit of the doubt is fine. But if you need the space you might not be so worried about potentially mistaking a disabled person for an able-bodied one.

I agree that able bodied people should keep their noses out.

Petitchat · 18/07/2024 11:26

TellMeWhoTheVillainsAre · 18/07/2024 11:22

Wow! Someone's got a chip..

Who said the member of the public who checks will always be able bodied? Surely BB holders are more likely to check that someone parking in a BB space is entitled to be there?

And should people (able bodied or not) not look out for others simply because they're able bodied (or not) for fear of offending the eternally offended?

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Or the eternally ill who don't feel well enough to be questioned?

CassandraWebb · 18/07/2024 11:26

Petitchat · 18/07/2024 11:18

If you are entitled to park there then there's no problem.

Yes there is !!
You should be ashamed of yourself.

You could be questioning someone who has:
Anxiety.
Autism.
Severe breathlessness.
Extreme fatigue.
Phobia of talking.
Fear of any confrontation.
Any kind of mental ill health.
Etc...

You questioning them could make them ill for the rest of the day.
You could be putting them off for future outings.

Stoo being so selfish and inconsiderate, bugger off and mind your own fucking business !!

If anyone ever questions me, I won't even answer. Why the hell should I?

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Exactly. Standing for longer than I have to makes me ill. It makes me very ill rapidly. Stress makes my symptoms worse. And often I am unable to talk clearly, and if I talk too much I lose the ability to swallow.

So asking me does cause me harm. The fact the harm is invisible to you doesn't mean it isn't real

ibelieveshereallyistgedevil · 18/07/2024 11:26

TellMeWhoTheVillainsAre · 18/07/2024 11:24

Fair point. But the OP appears to be offended that people even look at her dashboard! Only once did a cranky old man question her. Others simply look, and this is deemed offensive too.

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It is annoying to be stared at through the windscreen repeatedly, but preferable to being harangued when trying to transfer in and out of the car.

CassandraWebb · 18/07/2024 11:24

ibelieveshereallyistgedevil · 18/07/2024 11:02

No.

Use your eyes and look for the bb if you must be a busybody- if you asked me you would be told in no uncertain terms where to go. You have no entitlement to anyone’s medical information and it’s frankly laughable that you think you do.

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Exactly.
If people want to be busy bodies they can look for badges in cars, but asking people questions because they don't "look disabled" is both ignorant and intrusive

TellMeWhoTheVillainsAre · 18/07/2024 11:24

ibelieveshereallyistgedevil · 18/07/2024 11:20

If you are asking disabled people to prove they have a bb in ANY way beyond having it displayed on the dashboard then you are harassing disabled people.

I do not answer to you.

If you want to know if I have a badge then look at my dashboard.

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Fair point. But the OP appears to be offended that people even look at her dashboard! Only once did a cranky old man question her. Others simply look, and this is deemed offensive too.

LadyKenya · 18/07/2024 11:23

Well said@Petitchat . These posters on here justifying such actions are part of the problem, and they just will not listen to what people are saying here. The person being called out could have spent all morning trying to get out of the house, only to be confronted by a nosey, busy body, doing more harm than they care to know of.

TellMeWhoTheVillainsAre · 18/07/2024 11:22

ibelieveshereallyistgedevil · 18/07/2024 11:00

Yes, because we need able bodied saviours to look out for us, we couldn’t possibly manage it ourselves.

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Wow! Someone's got a chip..

Who said the member of the public who checks will always be able bodied? Surely BB holders are more likely to check that someone parking in a BB space is entitled to be there?

And should people (able bodied or not) not look out for others simply because they're able bodied (or not) for fear of offending the eternally offended?