To be annoyed that I get glared at for having a blue badge

YANBU. A sticker saying not all disabilities are visible may help but in my experience judgemental people (old or young) don't take easily to being told they are wrong. In your case I would have responded to the man questioning you that you are happy to show him the back of your your badge when he shows you his stating he is traffic warden and otherwise to mind his own business.

Blue badges don't have medical info on them but they have your name and photo so you might not want to show it to some random person on the street.

I am in my 60s and agree with another poster upthread that it is often older people and some can be entitled but equally some non disabled people old and young can abuse the spaces. Sorry you were upset though.

There are some really awful responses here.

If someone has a blue badge on their dashboard, that's that. Go away. Leave them alone. No member of the public has a right to question, shout at, abuse, assault, demand, or anything else of a disabled person going about their day.

Imagine if every time you went somewhere, when you pulled up in your car, you were glared at, tutted at, accosted, asked your private medical information and all that WHEN YOU HAVE A BLUE BADGE.

You start to get anxious about parking. You start to worry about being assaulted again. You think everyone is looking at you and judging you. You wonder which of the random men nearby is going to come over, whether they will shout at you, demand to see the photo on your badge. You start to go out less and less because it's EVERY TIME you park. You avoid shops, social events, even healthcare, because you can't leave your vehicle without a wider space, but you're too nervous of what might happen.

Seriously, stop. Stop making excuses for the arseholes who think we're less entitled to a BB space because we look young or have two legs or whatever other reasons these people make up. They're not "being kind" to us by policing blue badge use. They're making our lives difficult, frightening and more and more insular as we avoid society.

I haven't been to shops, a supermarket, a restaurant, anywhere really, since 2020 because of this. I'd love to go and have a potter round, but it's not worth the grief. That's what these people do to us.

Sometimes people have gone to my car to look at the badge as we've continued walking but not in an aggressive or confrontational way. They just seem to want to satisfy themselves that she's telling the truth.
So, so far when this has happened to your friend it's been not aggressive or confrontational, so it's all ok with you, no one's demanding to examine her badge and no one's yet tried to snatch it, or her keys. Therefore that must be how its being done to to the OP, or the rest of us? What else are you an apologist for on other people's behalf based on but you haven't yet personally seen happen?

Generally I suck it all up at whatever level, but I can promise you its far from not aggressive or confrontational here, and I am absolutely sick of of having to deal with aggressive men, and it nearly always is men looking for some woman to pick on, especially when it comes with a side order of racism and sometimes a need to inform me of where they rate me in their hierarchy of desirability. WTAF? I'm parking a vehicle not voluntarily entering a 'what do you think about me, guess my background, right to equality, be here' in every sense, competition.

Nowhere else on MN are women told to not let such behaviors bother them, accept it and others struggle to understand why it might affect the woman on the receiving end, and are they generally disbelieved? what is it about them causing their feelings? (which btw comes across as MN 'head tilt, tinkly laugh' territory, at the OP) and anyway it's all for the greater good...

I’m saying you are being unreasonable for not doing what they do in the states and whipping out your phone and start filming and asking them to say it again.
Followed by giving them a lecture.

I get it more often than not where I live. The badge is actually for my toddler who’s on home oxygen. I’ve had the looks, the comments, the coming straight up to the car to check for a badge.

We have a few stickers on the car more for safety in event of a crash etc advising medical oxygen is on board.

Now I hold my toddler upto them like the Lion King scene and ask if their disabled enough for them. It’s usually met with apologies and red faces on other occasions I’ve advised there’s parent and child parking spaces 🤨

Well said

Why does it annoy you? Do people who know you doubt the extent of your illness or something?

My colleague is 25 and has a blue badge because of a heart condition. She looks like any other healthy 25 year old. We've been questioned before and she's just smiled and said "yes, it's my blue badge. I have a heart condition". That's it. Conversation over. Sometimes people have gone to my car to look at the badge as we've continued walking but not in an aggressive or confrontational way. They just seem to want to satisfy themselves that she's telling the truth. It doesn't bother her. It wouldn't bother me if it was mine.

Oh yeah, I'm in my 30's and get this a lot.

I've given up trying to be understanding now and just tell them to fuck off. I don't have to justify my use of the space nor share my personal medical information with a nosey, meddling arsehole.

The general public are not traffic wardens or police. They have no right to confront other people.
There are numerous examples in this thread where BB holders have been confronted by people who have got it so wrong... it is hurtful and offensive to be confronted by a member of the public about something that is fuck all to do with them.

Surely people are checking that the car owner has a BB in order to protect the disabled spaces from being used by able bodied people. I do not understand why people think they can used disability spaces when they are not disabled just because they think they'll 'only be a minute'.

Yes, because the challenger has the courage to stand up and challenge someone they believe may be a criminal by abusing the Blue Badge scheme. The challenger thinks they are standing up for the disabled.
Surely it would be easy nowadays to provide disabled people with a swipe card to validate parking in disabled spaces to eliminate fraud and the unpleasantness of being doubted.

Your elderly mother sounds amazing. Disabled and still working as a traffic warden. She must get a lot of grief doing her job. /sarcasm

Oh? She is not a traffic warden? Then why the fuck is she confronting BB holders? She does not "care" that the spaces are only used for BB holders... she is holding to the stereotype that only the elderly people can park in them... and proving the OP right that it is grumpy old folk like your mum who is confronting younger people about their BB entitlement.

@Zebedee999

Yes, of course OP should be 'grateful' that people show 'care' in an adversarial manner.

Sure, sure.

Muppet...

I don't really need a stick, it helps a little but not much, but I often take one with me when I use public transport purely because it renders my invisible disability visible.

But yes, once I am sat down, I do get looks. And using public transport makes me so ill so rapidly that I rarely risk it. Even when I am feeling really unwell only those close to me can "see" the difference (my eyelids drop and my mouth droops and my head drops)

Ask to see THEIR identification and for them to confirm what authority they have to be asking you for personal information.

Oh blimey tell me about it! Mine doesn't involve blue badge use,it's on public transport. I've been disabled since I was 30,and use a walking stick. Therefore I often sit in a priority seat on the bus/train. The number of times I have been questioned as to why I was sitting in a priority seat (practically always by much older people). I was frequently being told 'You're too young to be disabled'. As if disability is any respecter of age. Now I'm 60,it obviously rarely happens,but I still sometimes feel like I'm being given the 'once over' by the disability police on public transport.

I say a disability is not always visible I could be mentally unstable and be prone to outbursts of violence, that usually gets them running away, nosy fuckers

You need to develop a thicker skin OP. We can't dictate how others behave, only how we react to it. Stop looking at other people when you're parking up and don't worry about what they're thinking - it doesn't matter. You can only see their 'funny looks' if you're looking at them. The old man who approached you should be told briskly to mind his own business. I say all this as the mum of a 30 year old autistic learning disabled son, we get stares and funny looks all the time. I don't worry about it because these people's opinions are completely irrelevant to me. Their behaviour says much about them and nothing about you.

Meh, nobody is owed an explanation as to why you are parking in a BB. The only explanation should be displayed on your dashboard, before you exit your vehicle. That is all anyone needs to do. If people wish to get into it with retorts, phrases, whatever, with randoms, that is up to them I suppose. Just walk away.

Hoot.
Shall I touch you and transfer my disability to you?

I ended up coming up with some stock phrases when I was younger, particularly pre-wheelchair when I'd use a crutch to get into the supermarket then use their scooter or lean on the trolley...

Can I see your badge:

'Yes, this is my badge, are you a traffic warden or police officer?... Then no you may not examine it.'

You're too young to use this space/you don't look old enough to have a badge:

'You look too old to be that ignorant/stupid/immature/rude...'

And if you don't fancy those...

'Please stop harrassing me or I will call the police...' and get your phone out to do so.

I had the same problem when I was younger, the general population in my town is on average, over 65, and it is not easy to get a blue badge unless you have PIP here, so theres a big group of people who for whatever reason (and probably pretty good ones) who feel they should have a badge, who do not have one and are pissed off about it.

It's shit we have to arm ourselves in advance with phrases, strap on our brave pants before we go out etc... but it is the way it is unfortunately.

@Levelinguperased

🤣🤣👍🏻

Not really sure what they’re expecting tbh. But I’d imagine they’re bitterly disappointed with what they get and it reinforces their view that I’m unworthy of my badge.

Is that a type of dance, or something?