To ask my husband not to nap while I'm working

I can see this from both sides. He's working too and wants a nap on his time off. Assuming there's not a backstory of him being a lazy twat, I think it's unfair that he can't access his private space during the day. You really, really need to address where you work. There MUST be something else you can do.

YABU. It's unfortunate that the bedroom is the only place where you can work, but it is his bedroom as well as yours - and he is the one using it for its intended purpose. If he's napping he can hardly be disturbing you.

How can you not find somewhere else to set up your work station? Don't you have another bedroom?

Isn't there an office to go to?

Well done OP!

It would be easier to get a camp-bed for the living room than a garden office, or rent a co-working space. (I'm amazed at the number of people who think that you might have that level of £££££ just lying around.)

I WFH when I can because my commute is £35 return at best and at least 90 minutes each way. So, I can't simply go into the office - our income depends on me WFH as often as possible.

I do know what it's like to have a partner follow me around the house when I'm working, keen to have random chats when the urge strikes him. As an earlier poster has suggested, it's something to do with territory, and also assuming that my work just isn't that important.

Besides that - it's a luxury to have your house be a 'home' for purely domestic work. The people who are saying 'but it's his home' are bananas. Throughout history people have done marking, meeting prep, had lodgers, taken in washing, done weaving at home or wherever - it's not the law that where you live is for leisure and rest only.

It would be great if so, but too many of us rely on making ends meet by working where we live.

My partner does occasionally seek out a 'nap' (horrid word) when it suits him, usually when he has lost self-control and worked well into the night on his projects - or gone out on the lash the day before. Or, he's binged at lunch and is having a sugar crash.

Either way, it reflects poor habits on his side. He's not a nightshift worker and he has no health conditions that justify it.

Because according to MN a perfectly healthy person having a nap during the day is a totally normal event. I mean the man did do bits of housework and with a toddler in tow, sounds backbreaking work. Evidently he needed beddies for a couple of hours. I mean having his wife work in the room works extra well, she can take a five minutes break to tuck him in and read a story.

Has he got health issues? Why is he sleeping in the daytime?

The op doesn’t have much of a choice. She has a job that means working from home, she has a toddler and a husband (and his needs for a toddler-type nap) who need living space more than they need a bedroom during working hours. The master bedroom makes the most sense here with limited space.

Maybe get a double bed for the toddler that way they and the responsible adult caring for the child can have their much needed nap time together.

Clients in your bedroom?

You're supposed to have privacy for clients and financials so I'd be telling your h so pack it in.

A friend of mine works for a bank from home. Her h left a phone hidden, recording, so he could record what she did and said all day. When she found out she had to report it and could have got into a lot of trouble. I think they took pity on her as he's a violent bully.

If there’s address in my contract it’s now obsolete as we’ve moved offices since I joined

Why would it come under a law? It’s company policy. I presume an office is specified in my contract as it wasn’t changed during covid but I can’t remember as it’s so old

While you are working that space is your dedicated workspace, he wouldn’t visit you in an office and curl up for forty winks. If you are working and earning he needs to respect that and use the sofa for his naps, especially since you are dealing with clients confidential business .

A bedroom is someone’s most private and relaxing place. Not a bloody office

Where's the toddler during the day?

I don’t think your husband is being unreasonable. I work a technical job from home and can easily set up two monitors, keyboard, mouse and headset on the dining room table.
Have you heard of mobile monitors?
If you have paperwork (isn’t it mainly digital now?), there are stand-alone fold-away desks that also have a pull out drawer.

YABU. It’s his bedroom too, not an office and if you can’t find somewhere in your house to work that doesn’t limit other peoples use of spaces that they are entitled to use then you shouldn’t WFH.

This is the same situation I have, DH will stay quiet if I am still in bed and he has started work early, I do still have to go into the room at some points throughout the day but if he is on a call or in a meeting I would stay out, I certainly wouldn't go in during the day and sleep!

Surely there is no need for a grown man who is only working part time and not doing night shift to need a nap through the day??

She has a support network, appreciate that not everyone does but the workplace need to safeguard, surely you can understand that????

And maybe he's just a lazy asshole who sleeps all day while his partner is working in the only space she can work from at home.

Do you not think OP would have mentioned if he was semi-retired, or recovering from a long illness, or whatever?

And if she has a fit alone at home?

If you don't have a dedicated office space you both need to be flexible which may mean being him being considerate and napping elsewhere on certain days or your moving your laptop and working elsewhere on certain days. Your bedroom is yours 50/50 which means sharing and compromise to make it work.

Well, yeah?
Maybe he's semi-retired and gets tired? OP hasn't explained.
When I'm home I consider that I have a right to use my own bed.

why does he need to nap? most people work during the day and don't have naps.

I think I'd just go the passive aggressive route and start making really loud and annoying (pretend) phone calls and banging things around. You could develop a loud cough. Or just keep asking him inane questions followed by 'Sorry, I didn't realise you were asleep'. He'll soon find the lure of the sofa irresistible.

YANBU

You agreed that you would work in the bedroom. Your work station cannot easily be moved due to having lots of screens and stuff.

You need privacy to work.

You have a sofa.

It is easier for him to flop on the sofa than for you to move your work station.

He needs to nap on the sofa.