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Original poster

To ask my husband not to nap while I'm working

337 replies

LookAtThatCritter · 17/07/2024 19:25

I work from home and unfortunately the only space that we have available for my work station is in our bedroom. I know - it's a pain, but it is what it is. We don't have space for it in the living room/kitchen, and I need a room with a door that shuts anyway because I have a lot of client meetings & work with financials.

I just need the space during normal working hours, so if I work unreasonably early or late I'm totally fine with having someone else in the room and I try to be really quiet. But during normal working hours, I like to try and separate my work from home so I don't get distracted and can stay productive.

Sometimes my husband will wander in during the work day and start napping in the bed (which is what my desk faces). I find this really annoying and distracting, but I don't know if I'm being unreasonable or if this is okay. He only works part time right now and no night shifts or anything like that. It's not even the napping that's annoying me - but we have a sofa in the living room he could use. I just don't want someone sleeping in the same room I'm working.

Am I being a bitch, or am I justified to ask him to stop?? 😫

OP posts:
Differentstarts · 17/07/2024 23:01

Inastatus · 17/07/2024 22:55

@Differentstarts - I’m sorry that this is your reality but surely you can recognise that your situation is quite unusual.

I think they're a significant amount of people in the world who have illnesses/disabilities which means they need to sleep during the day and I don't think its that unusual

Moonshiners · 17/07/2024 22:59

Differentstarts · 17/07/2024 22:53

Since the fact he only works part time their is a high chance he does have multiple illnesses.

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I have multiple illnesses and often need a nap. I go on the sofa away from DH if he's working in the bedroom.

SpicyKitty · 17/07/2024 22:58

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Oodiks · 17/07/2024 22:58

Differentstarts · 17/07/2024 22:53

Since the fact he only works part time their is a high chance he does have multiple illnesses.

Show quote history

Or he's just a lazy sod.

Moonshiners · 17/07/2024 22:57

OhHelloMiss · 17/07/2024 19:36

Can he go in the bedroom to collect his stuff? Get changed? Look for something? Etc etc??

That's all fine. Having a nap is just weird and rude.

Oodiks · 17/07/2024 22:57

ManchesterLu · 17/07/2024 22:13

I can see this from both sides. He's working too and wants a nap on his time off. Assuming there's not a backstory of him being a lazy twat, I think it's unfair that he can't access his private space during the day. You really, really need to address where you work. There MUST be something else you can do.

He's working part time and wants to nap in the room where she is working full time. He's a dickhead.

Gcsunnyside23 · 17/07/2024 22:55

DancingPhantomsOnTheTerrace · 17/07/2024 19:41

I'm not sure - whenever someone posts on here complaining that her DH is wfh and wants her to (for example) keep the children quiet, all the answers firmly say that it's a home first, and if he has an issue he needs to go back to the office.

But that's not the same. Usually that scenario the person is sitting in shared space asking for quiet or coming out if their office. The op is in a separate space and he has the whole house to nap. Yes it's a home but if this was gender reverse I would still say the full time person trumps the part time with nothing better to do than nap

Inastatus · 17/07/2024 22:55

@Differentstarts - I’m sorry that this is your reality but surely you can recognise that your situation is quite unusual.

Differentstarts · 17/07/2024 22:53

Allthehorsesintheworld · 17/07/2024 22:48

Why on earth does he need to nap during the day? Only excuses are being aged under 4 or being ill. He’s not trying to sabotage your job is he?

Since the fact he only works part time their is a high chance he does have multiple illnesses.

ButWhatAboutTheBees · 17/07/2024 22:49

Also

DFO with the outrage over a nap

It's a completely normal thing for some people. It's part of life in some countries even.

ButWhatAboutTheBees · 17/07/2024 22:48

There's a link to a post where the sexes are reversed and the responses are totally different

Including at least 2 on page one which said it led to the breakdown of the marriage!

Work from HOME. It's right there in the name

Allthehorsesintheworld · 17/07/2024 22:48

Why on earth does he need to nap during the day? Only excuses are being aged under 4 or being ill. He’s not trying to sabotage your job is he?

Copperoliverbear · 17/07/2024 22:48

I'd tell him to sleep on the sofa or spare room if you have one, as you find it distracting

FangsForTheMemory · 17/07/2024 22:47

Tartfulodger · 17/07/2024 19:31

If the sexes were reversed here everyone would be saying he should go and work elsewhere and why shouldn't you have a nap in your own bedroom. Surely there must be some alternative area you can use to work from home? I'd understand if you lived in a bedsit.

No they wouldn't. You're being ridiculous.

PuggyPuggyPuggy · 17/07/2024 22:43

He's a fucking adult of working age, why is he napping during tne day? Isn't there ironing that needs doing, or something?

ContentSolitude · 17/07/2024 22:40

AGodawfulsmallaffair · 17/07/2024 22:35

Of course, the average mumsnet husband can’t wait to strip an remake the beds. This one can’t even stay awake.

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From what I've read, I don't think the average DH on here strips and changes beds at all.

Differentstarts · 17/07/2024 22:38

AGodawfulsmallaffair · 17/07/2024 22:35

Of course, the average mumsnet husband can’t wait to strip an remake the beds. This one can’t even stay awake.

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🤣🤣🤣

ContentSolitude · 17/07/2024 22:38

Inastatus · 17/07/2024 22:27

I don’t get why grown adults generally need to have a nap in the day tbh.
@ContentSolitude - medical conditions excluded obv!

Edited

I feel great when I realise it's been a while since I needed a nap (which is only about 10 minutes anyway). It's definitely not every day. When I do need it though, the flip side of that is that I won't be as productive and will crash by evening, so I really do get more out of the ten minutes of time out than I lose.

My bedroom is an area where a lot goes on, so someone working from there wouldn't work. I need to access things during the day. My DH's working from home was causing a lot of problems for multiple people, so he's back at the office now. Everyone is happier.

Differentstarts · 17/07/2024 22:38

ThereIsIron · 17/07/2024 19:44

I'm struggling to understand why a grown man who doesn't work full time needs a "nap" 🙄

I'm a grown woman who doesn't work full time and am always asleep. I often have days where i usually have a 2 hr nap in the morning and then a 3 hour nap in the afternoon then a 10-12 hr sleep at night their are days where I'm not awake for more then 3 hrs at a time. Unfortunately this is the reality of medication, mental illness and chronic physical conditions.

AGodawfulsmallaffair · 17/07/2024 22:35

SleepingStandingUp · 17/07/2024 19:38

No, it's their bedroom. WhAt if he wants to get changed? Or sort out his wardrobe. Or strip and remake the beds?

Show quote history

Of course, the average mumsnet husband can’t wait to strip an remake the beds. This one can’t even stay awake.

Differentstarts · 17/07/2024 22:30

Firstly yanbu he can nap on the sofa secondly why do I have an image of you doing video calls and your husband is in the background tucked up in bed sleeping with an eyemask on 🤣🤣

Inastatus · 17/07/2024 22:27

I don’t get why grown adults generally need to have a nap in the day tbh.
@ContentSolitude - medical conditions excluded obv!

HowIrresponsible · 17/07/2024 22:16

Sunbeam18 · 17/07/2024 19:30

God, that would drive me mad. Someone napping anywhere in the house would bug me!

Someone napping anywhere in their own home would bug you.

What's wrong with you?

ContentSolitude · 17/07/2024 22:15

ThereIsIron · 17/07/2024 19:44

I'm struggling to understand why a grown man who doesn't work full time needs a "nap" 🙄

You're so lucky you struggle to understand that. Some people have medical conditions. Sometimes I need a ten minute 'nap' to recharge so I can be as productive the rest of the day as I am in the morning.. Power napping is a thing and has a lot of benefits even for those without medical conditions.

When working from home starts to interfere with normal life, it's time to go back to the office.

betterangels · 17/07/2024 22:13

DancingPhantomsOnTheTerrace · 17/07/2024 19:41

I'm not sure - whenever someone posts on here complaining that her DH is wfh and wants her to (for example) keep the children quiet, all the answers firmly say that it's a home first, and if he has an issue he needs to go back to the office.

Exactly. So many of those threads. It's a bedroom in a house I'm guessing he helps pay for. You can ask him to nap on the sofa, but it's nonsense to think you can reasonably lock him out.

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