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Original poster

To ask my husband not to nap while I'm working

337 replies

LookAtThatCritter · 17/07/2024 19:25

I work from home and unfortunately the only space that we have available for my work station is in our bedroom. I know - it's a pain, but it is what it is. We don't have space for it in the living room/kitchen, and I need a room with a door that shuts anyway because I have a lot of client meetings & work with financials.

I just need the space during normal working hours, so if I work unreasonably early or late I'm totally fine with having someone else in the room and I try to be really quiet. But during normal working hours, I like to try and separate my work from home so I don't get distracted and can stay productive.

Sometimes my husband will wander in during the work day and start napping in the bed (which is what my desk faces). I find this really annoying and distracting, but I don't know if I'm being unreasonable or if this is okay. He only works part time right now and no night shifts or anything like that. It's not even the napping that's annoying me - but we have a sofa in the living room he could use. I just don't want someone sleeping in the same room I'm working.

Am I being a bitch, or am I justified to ask him to stop?? 😫

OP posts:
strungouteyes · 18/07/2024 18:44

LookAtThatCritter · 17/07/2024 19:25

I work from home and unfortunately the only space that we have available for my work station is in our bedroom. I know - it's a pain, but it is what it is. We don't have space for it in the living room/kitchen, and I need a room with a door that shuts anyway because I have a lot of client meetings & work with financials.

I just need the space during normal working hours, so if I work unreasonably early or late I'm totally fine with having someone else in the room and I try to be really quiet. But during normal working hours, I like to try and separate my work from home so I don't get distracted and can stay productive.

Sometimes my husband will wander in during the work day and start napping in the bed (which is what my desk faces). I find this really annoying and distracting, but I don't know if I'm being unreasonable or if this is okay. He only works part time right now and no night shifts or anything like that. It's not even the napping that's annoying me - but we have a sofa in the living room he could use. I just don't want someone sleeping in the same room I'm working.

Am I being a bitch, or am I justified to ask him to stop?? 😫

My DH works from home in the bedroom, I'm term time so off for the summer. I get up and out the room and am reluctant to even go back in the grab something. If I do, I'll peek in first to make sure he's not in a meeting or something and then very quickly and quietly grab it.

I'd consider going in and napping incredibly disrespectful.

Swisscave · 18/07/2024 18:41

@LookAtThatCritter

Youre being completely over dramatic with your last posts, all for the sake of a man ….having a nap …..in his own bed.
How on earth would you cope in an actual office. I suspect by posting to MN all about it.

FOXYMORON1707 · 18/07/2024 18:29

He must get tired working part time (not sure if has medical issues) and this in turn means he has to sleep or nap. Tho sofa?? Yeh YANBA you are working from a bedroom its hardly ideal. Tho him lying flat out asleep hardly a good look on zoom meetings.

Original poster
LookAtThatCritter · 18/07/2024 18:21

If I took a job locally instead of this remote job, I would lose at least 50% of my salary. As explained previously (but lots of commenters seem to have missed) - this company is entirely remote. There are no co working spaces. I cannot go and work from a coffee shop or library. Those are not appropriate spaces to take multiple screens and have calls discussing clients in depth financial information. It is literally work this job (which I love, btw) or lose a lot of money + commuting costs + all the other costs that come from working outside the home. All for the benefit of someone napping in the bed instead of the sofa 😂

We'll get a bigger house eventually. But we have to deal with what we have right now.

OP posts:
Original poster
LookAtThatCritter · 18/07/2024 18:11

MrsSkylerWhite · 17/07/2024 23:16

pikkumyy77 · Today 19:34
OhHelloMiss · Today 19:31
It's his home too

I would prefer to nap on the bed rather than the sofa

He's not doing any thing wrong at all

This is some grade A bullshit.

Why? It’s his bedroom.
Why can’t OP work in the kitchen, sitting room or - shock, horror, the company building?

I've already said multiple times why I can't work anywhere else. We don't have the space. My computer set up isn't portable and I need multiple screens. And actually the bedroom doesn't get used during the day other than this occasional nap issue. If I worked elsewhere in our (small) house, I would have to worry about noises from him/the toddler/the dogs going into the kitchen, being in the lounge, bathroom, watching the TV etc. I'm staying out of the way and making sure he has free access to as much of the house as possible without having to be suddenly quiet because I'm getting a call or having a meeting etc.

My company doesn't have an office building - it's entirely remote. And everyone is spread out over the country.

OP posts:
Sharptonguedwoman · 18/07/2024 18:04

OhHelloMiss · 17/07/2024 19:31

It's his home too

I would prefer to nap on the bed rather than the sofa

He's not doing any thing wrong at all

It’s also her office. He’s out of order and can use the sofa.

lazyarse123 · 18/07/2024 17:28

If he's only working part-time wtf does he need a nap? He's being a twat.

PinkSparklyPussyCat · 18/07/2024 17:16

Gwenhwyfar · 18/07/2024 17:07

Well yes, when I'm on Teams sometimes a colleague will have someone hoovering in the background. They're allowed to live their lives too.

Show quote history

Oh no, he wouldn't do that! He's generally walking through the living room to get a drink, empty the washing machine or something like that. When I first started WFH at the beginning of the pandemic the poor bloke used to ask for permission to come into the living room. In the end my boss, who knows us both, said she wanted to see him walk through and saying hello next time it was her and I on the phone.

Sometimes it can be hard to find a happy medium between home and work space. I'm being made redundant in a couple of months and so will have to look for a job next year. Part of me wants something where I'm in the office most of the time so home is home again.

Gwenhwyfar · 18/07/2024 17:07

PinkSparklyPussyCat · 18/07/2024 15:22

It's not against my will, I'm quite happy to work at home now although I hated it at first. They just need to accept that if I can't go into the office then DH will be around as no matter what some posters think it's our home first and foremost. I'm not going to tell him he has to stay out of the living room.

Show quote history

Well yes, when I'm on Teams sometimes a colleague will have someone hoovering in the background. They're allowed to live their lives too.

Comtesse · 18/07/2024 16:26

It’s working time and the part time person wants to sleep in the same room? Good grief that’s incredibly annoying. I would find it disrespectful.

Justcallmebebes · 18/07/2024 16:20

Why is he napping during the day? Why is he working only part time? Hasn't he anything productive to do?

That would drive me insane. Sheer bone idleness

Wotcher · 18/07/2024 16:16

Also on the fence with this. Sounds like you are better just going into the office, or using one of those work spaces that you can book day by day. I’d be annoyed to be locked out of my own bedroom all day because it’s been turned into an office.

On the other hand, napping in general annoys me! Go get something done! 🙈

PinkSparklyPussyCat · 18/07/2024 16:10

The person could always just go back to the office

That's not always possible

Boomer55 · 18/07/2024 16:09

OhHelloMiss · 17/07/2024 19:34

It's a potential breach of employer or client confidentiality for him to be in the space you work in while you're working there.

So the employer should provide a suitable workplace...

The person could always just go back to the office…🤷‍♀️

OhHelloMiss · 18/07/2024 15:49

@Gwenhwyfar it's literally mumsnet an own strap line....for parents,by parents....not 'mums'

PinkSparklyPussyCat · 18/07/2024 15:22

Gwenhwyfar · 18/07/2024 14:30

Well, I think it does. If your contract states that you work at a certain address, I'm not sure they can force you to work from home against your will outside of a pandemic/lockdown situation.

Show quote history

It's not against my will, I'm quite happy to work at home now although I hated it at first. They just need to accept that if I can't go into the office then DH will be around as no matter what some posters think it's our home first and foremost. I'm not going to tell him he has to stay out of the living room.

ellenfan · 18/07/2024 15:14

Jumblebum · 18/07/2024 14:46

If he pays rent/mortgage etc then the man should be able to sleep in his own bed at any time of day or night. Working from home should only be an option out with global pandemics, when you have a full, spare room to work from home and you are prepared to accept the comings and goings and noises of a home. Go to the office and if this isn't an option then hire a workspace somewhere. Why should household members be so inconvenienced.

How do places like farmhouses figure in this - where farm workers come into the kitchen for lunch?

Many, many homes are both places of work and places where people live.

Jumblebum · 18/07/2024 14:46

If he pays rent/mortgage etc then the man should be able to sleep in his own bed at any time of day or night. Working from home should only be an option out with global pandemics, when you have a full, spare room to work from home and you are prepared to accept the comings and goings and noises of a home. Go to the office and if this isn't an option then hire a workspace somewhere. Why should household members be so inconvenienced.

Gwenhwyfar · 18/07/2024 14:31

OhHelloMiss · 18/07/2024 11:12

No @ellenfan this forum is here for PARENTS not just females

As a non-parent, I disagree.
The point is that his being a man has nothing to do with it. It could easily be the woman who works part time and is at home when the man is trying to work.

Gwenhwyfar · 18/07/2024 14:30

PinkSparklyPussyCat · 18/07/2024 10:02

If it's company policy, which it is where I work, then being fair doesn't come into it.

Show quote history

Well, I think it does. If your contract states that you work at a certain address, I'm not sure they can force you to work from home against your will outside of a pandemic/lockdown situation.

betterangels · 18/07/2024 14:11

He has no need for a nap

How do you know?! He has already agreed to sleep on the sofa anyway.

violetposie · 18/07/2024 11:23

He doesn't respect your work. He has no need for a nap, but if he wants one, he can take it on the sofa.

ButWhatAboutTheBees · 18/07/2024 11:14

This thread and this forum is not here to be kind to men (will nobody think of the poor men!) - but to help women feel supported, and lead more fulfilling and productive lives.

It's not here just for women. And "being kind to men" doesn't prevent women being fulfilled and productive

OhHelloMiss · 18/07/2024 11:12

Always has been

OhHelloMiss · 18/07/2024 11:12

No @ellenfan this forum is here for PARENTS not just females

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