To ask my husband not to nap while I'm working

Agree about the napping being annoying - why does he need to sleep in the middle of the day? I’d be kicking him out of the bedroom in your situation too OP

Mn is so weird about wfh. Anyone who wfh should be able to do so unhindered and dh napping in the same room is totally inappropriate. You surely adapt around the needs of your household. Dh uses our study for music practice in the evenings. If he started doing it in the day when I’m working I’d be really cross… thankfully he’s more thoughtful and supportive of my career than some mnetters appear to be.

I think I'm unreasonable as its the napping that would annoy me rather than where he is napping. Id be resentful that I was working full time whilst he was part time and had time in his day for a lovely litte sleep. But I think thats my issue!

If you put a lock on the door he's just going to keep knocking or talking and interrupting you until you let him in. Would a screan work so you can block the view if the bed? You can buy quite them cheap.

What an ass.

You're earning a living. Presumably one that also facilitates his lifestyle.

He can nap elsewhere.

You're most likely a woman, so that's allowed on here.

Maybe he just prefers to sleep that way and he has no chronic illnesses, in most of the world it's entirely normal to have an afternoon nap. Maybe he likes to stay up late and get up early and makes up the time with a nap, or maybe he just functions better if he gets 12 hrs sleep a day. We still have a weird attachment to puritanical ideals where sleeping when you are tired is considered some sort of moral failing.

Sorry I think you’re the unreasonable one here. It’s a BEDroom first and foremost. It’s his bed. If he needs to use it then that’s primarily what the room is for. Where do you eat? Do you have a kitchen table? I enjoy a nap now and again but I cannot sleep on a sofa. I just can’t. My brain won’t allow me to switch off. You know when people say they nod off watching a film?? Well I could never ever do this. My brain wouldn’t allow me to sleep there. I’m not saying your husband is the same as me, but I think it would be better for you to work somewhere else and for him to use the bedroom as intended. Is it possible you just resent him napping and don’t want to be confronted with a visual of something that irks you?

Maybe there is something wrong with him. Lots of adults have health conditions that cause fatigue. I often need to nap because of a chronic health condition. I also work full-time so I’m contributing to our finances, but I was very ill earlier this year and signed off, and slept a lot in the afternoons.

Wow, I didn't know there was such an issue with napping! I often have an afternoon snooze at the weekend!

YANBU. He can nap on sofa in day fcol...its not night time.

😂😂

When it’s the man working from home all the comments are “it’s a home not an office!!”

I think you're being unreasonable. Its a bedroom not an office. If you insist in working from it you need to accept some disruption.

Locking him out of his own bedroom is insanity. I can’t believe anyone would even consider this! I can understand your frustration but it’s his home. I think you need to make alternative working arrangements

This. He’s not a toddler, what’s with the napping? I’d think there was something wrong with my DH if he was taking himself off for naps in the middle of the day. How odd.

Actually we don’t have enough information from the OP to know whether he needs to nap. He might have a chronic or life-limiting illness that means he can’t work full time and is frequently fatigued.

They might not share finances. He might earn enough working part time to pay his half of the bills.

He might also be a lazy cocklodger who’s deliberately trying to make her working life difficult. It’s impossible to say from the OP.

Yet you say sometimes you start work early and try to be quiet, presumably whilst he’s still in bed? How is that fair? He should be allowed in the bedroom when required in my opinion

If he isn't snoring, there shouldn't be any issues...

I think you are being completely unreasonable, I WFH full time and work in the main bedroom, it's the best room for many different reasons and let's me shut myself off more easily.

That said it is also the master bedroom and as such if my other half needs or wants to go in do do whatever, get changed, sleep, get some bits out etc etc then that's fine as it's not only my room, if I'm on an important call or need to concentrate then I'll either go into another room or simply say I'm on a call could you give me x amount of time.

Well she could move to the sofa and get a lap tray. It works both ways and primarily it’s a home not an office

Honestly? I’d just ask him. He might be unaware you don’t like it, and if you mentioned you would rather him nap on the couch, he might just agree and wander off to the couch. I wfh, and at first my dh would come home from work (I work in the kitchen diner) and hover around me chatting about his day before my work day was done. I pointed out that I’d prefer him to not chat to me till after I’d finished. He hadn’t realised it was an issue, and just did as asked.

OP isn't preventing DH from sleeping in the bedroom. He can do it at night, like most adults.

It's his bedroom as well as your office. He could just as easily say that it annoys him having you typing and being sat there whilst he's trying to sleep. This is just part of WFH in a small flat, you have to compromise.

100% this. I've seen women be advised on here to divorce their wfh husbands simply because they no longer have exclusive use of every room of the the house Mon-Fri 9-5.